Transforming Us Podcast

A Special Invitation: The Soul Care Companions Cohort 2025

As we launch Season 2, we want to offer you more than just a podcast to listen to—we want to offer you a community to grow with. Today I am just dropping in with this invitation, and we will be sharing our first episode next week with my dear friend Anna Palmer Enneagram 1.

Many of the struggles we discuss today—perfectionism, the need for control, and the feeling of isolation—are exactly what we address in our upcoming Soul Care Companions Cohort. This is a 9-week intentional journe...

Duration: 00:07:05

The playful spark that started it all often gets buried under life's demands. But what if the key to a healthy, resilient romantic partnership is simply remembering to be friends?

Join Tamara and Jess as they dive into the vital significance of cultivating a rhythm of friendship, play, and laughter within romantic relationships. They discuss why intentional fun and shared adventures aren't just luxuries—they're essential components for nurturing connection, diffusing stress, and deepening joy.

Discover how prioritizing play can act as a powerful stress diffuser, lightening the load for both partners.Learn practical tips for "sc...

Duration: 00:12:18

The mental load—that constant, invisible list of organizing, planning, and anticipating—is a leading source of strain in modern relationship dynamics, especially as holiday stress peaks this mental load. In this episode, Jess and Tamara unpack the weight of this unseen emotional labor and why it often falls unevenly, leading to feelings of resentment. Hear why invisible labor creates deep resentment and how better communication and empathy are the keys to a healthier partnership. Learn some practical tips on becoming better team mates and looking out for one another. They offer couples strategies for auditing and sharing these resp...

Duration: 00:16:48

Some seasons can often feel like a relationship pressure cooker. In this episode of the Transforming Us podcast, Jess and Tamara tackle the chaos and stress, emphasizing the importance of balancing the need for routines as partners, to maintain relationship satisfaction. They share practical strategies for prioritizing intimacy and connection amidst the holiday hustle. Learn how implementing daily practical rituals, dedicating non-transactional time, and embracing the power of a 30-second practice to release oxytocin and strengthen bonds through physical affection can transform your partnership. Discover how these small micro habits and intentional eye contact or flirting, can communicate, “being cl...

Duration: 00:12:22

Are you tired of repeating the same old immature responses in your relationships?

Dive into the transformative world of emotionally mature communication with hosts Tamara and Jess. In this episode, Transforming Communication in Relationships: From Immaturity to Maturity, we give you the tools to ditch reactive, immature communication and embrace a wiser, more secure way of interacting with the people you love.

We explore why we often revert to immature communication styles when we're triggered and how your inner child and attachment styles play a pivotal role in conflict resolution.

Things You'll Learn:<...

Duration: 00:30:00

On this week's Transforming Us episode, we dive deep with the amazing Dr. Mary Filice about the profound journey of personal transformation through compassionate presence.

Dr. Mary Shares how she has seen… "Healing happens in relationship."

Dr. Mary Filice is an esteemed educator, scholar, and visionary businesswoman renowned for her pioneering work in personal transformation and healing. She developed Dr. Mary's Method of Transformation® (MOT®), which merges philosophy with science to guide individuals toward realizing their fullest potential. As an International Enneagram Accredited Professional (AP), Dr. Filice integrates her expertise in the Enneagram, Gabor Maté's tr...

Duration: 00:49:23

Are you ready to shift your parenting from reactive correction to intentional connection? Need help cultivating a peaceful family system?

In this transformative episode, Jess welcomes Sarah McCrory, MS, LPC-S, RPT, the founder of Sanctuary Counseling and Wellness in Montgomery, AL. As a Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist, Sarah specializes in healing attachment trauma in children and families using powerful models like TBRI® (Trust-Based Relational Intervention), EMDR, and Theraplay. Sarah, who believes a true sanctuary offers rest and safety, reveals how the triad of TBRI, restorative soul care, and intentional play can fundamentally transform your h...

Duration: 01:03:29

Dive into a transformative conversation with Jess and Tamara on Transforming Us as they explore the deep connection between attachment security in relationships and the powerful framework of the Enneagram. This episode, Learn Your Paths to Security Using the Enneagram Instincts, Wings, and Arrows, is your guide to authentic personal growth and lasting mental health.

We all want to feel secure—but what does that actually look like? In this deep-dive, we break down the crucial role of recognizing and regulating your emotional states. Learn how to identify hyperarousal (that feeling of being anxious and overwhelmed) and hy...

Duration: 00:49:00

How does the Enneagram Three (The Achiever) navigate the demands of ministry, the vulnerability of parenting, and the intimacy of partnering? As the author of the popular Gospel For Enneagram devotional series and creator of the most helpful Enneasummits, Tyler gets real about his patterns! 

In this episode, Tyler Zach, certified Enneagram coach, spiritual director, and former pastor, Type 3, offers a window into how the Type 3’s drive for success and image management impacts his roles as a counseling pastor, a husband, and a father to two adopted sons. We explore the transformative power of the Enneagram as...

Duration: 01:03:00

Tired of the same old relationship struggles? Want to understand the "why" behind your connection patterns? In this episode of the Transforming Us podcast, hosts Jessie and Tamara dive deep into the helpful intersection of the Enneagram and Attachment Theory. This is the essential conversation for anyone seeking to finally decode the complex relationship dynamics of their connections, their parenting approach, and their overall personal growth.

We explore how your attachment style (Secure, Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment-Dismissive, Fearful-Avoidant), profoundly shapes your core Enneagram patterns, influencing everything from your routine interactions to how you manage conflict and vulnerability...

Duration: 00:47:15

Join Jessie and Tamara as they dive deep into the Enneagram, the helpful psychological framework for transformation. This episode is your essential guide to understanding the nine distinct personality patterns—not as static labels, but as a dynamic roadmap for self-awareness and greater emotional intelligence.

In this foundational primer, you'll discover:

The System's Structure: We break down the historical context and explain the profound connection between the Enneagram and attachment theory.The "Why" Behind Your Actions: Learn how your core emotions and Centers of Intelligence (Head, Heart, and Body) shape your worldview and drive your behavior.A...

Duration: 01:03:16

Navigating pain and leading with emotional intelligence are critical skills for any leader. On this episode of the Transforming Us Podcast, host Jess Vangsnes sits down with award-winning leadership development professional and author Scott Allender, to explore the profound connection between the Enneagram, emotional intelligence, and leadership with some personal stories of transformation along the way.

In this very real conversation, Scott, author of "The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Personal and Professional Success", shares how the Enneagram can be a powerful tool for self-awareness, helping you understand your unique emotional patterns and pain points...

Duration: 01:04:47

Do you feel caught in a constant push-pull between wanting close relationships and pushing people away? In this powerful episode of the Transforming Us podcast, hosts Jess and Tamara dive deep into the complexities of the fearful avoidant attachment patterns. We’re getting to the heart of what drives this unique and often misunderstood relationship dynamic, rooted in deep-seated childhood wounds of broken trust and hyper-sensativity.

In This Episode, We Explore:

The Fearful Avoidant Map: Unpack the mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors that define this attachment style. Understand the high levels of anxiety, the struggle wi...

Duration: 01:10:58

Are you in a relationship with someone who seems distant or emotionally unavailable? Or do you recognize these patterns in yourself? In this insightful episode of the Transforming Us podcast, hosts Jess and Tamara do a deep dive into the dismissive avoidant attachment style. We're exploring the core reasons behind the desire for autonomy and the struggle with vulnerability that defines this relational pattern.

In This Episode, We'll Explore:

The Avoidant Map: Understand why individuals with this attachment style may feel committed at the beginning of relationships, only to become overwhelmed as emotional intimacy deepens. We'll...

Duration: 00:59:41

Are you tired of the emotional rollercoaster that comes with anxious preoccupied attachment? In this episode of the Transforming Us podcast, hosts Jess and Tamara get real about the anxious preoccupied attachment style. We're diving deep into the inner workings of this relational pattern, from its roots in childhood wounds to its impact on your relationship dynamics today.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

The Anxious Preoccupied Map: Unpack the core characteristics of this attachment style, including the constant need for emotional connection and validation, the fear of abandonment, and the tendency to self-sabotage healthy relationships.Healing...

Duration: 00:49:49

Hey friends, welcome back to Transforming Us Podcast. This week, we're finally getting into the world of relational attachment, and let's just say, it's getting a little personal. We are getting honest about our own journeys with different attachment styles. Are you ready to transform your relationships and break free from old, painful patterns? In this episode, we offer a basic overview and guide to the world of attachment theory with a focus on how your early experiences shape your adult relationships. Whether you're in a romantic relationship or on a journey of personal growth and becoming more relational...

Duration: 01:01:45

Join us for a profound conversation with author, therapist, and professor Dr. Chuck DeGroat on a very special episode of the Transforming Us podcast. Dr. DeGroat's new book, Healing What's Within, dives deep into how our unhealed pain can impact our relationships with ourselves, others, and God. We explore the powerful idea that what isn't transformed is transmitted and discuss how we can break free from cycles of hurt.

Discover how to use tools like the Enneagram wisely for deep self-understanding, why paying attention to your body and nervous system is crucial for true healing, and the...

Duration: 00:54:06

In this practical episode of The Transforming Us Podcast, hosts Jess and Tamara share seven essential skills to help you build healthier relationships and improve your overall well-being. Using a holistic approach, they connect key concepts from trauma, attachment theory, and the Enneagram to give you a clear roadmap for personal growth.

You'll get actionable tools and techniques for:

Learning to be aware of subconscious patterns is crucial for personal growth.Mindfulness & Overthinking: Learn to identify and shift negative thought patterns to manage anxiety and overthinking.Emotional Regulation: Discover the power of emotional and somatic awareness...

Duration: 00:47:17

Hey there Beautiful souls! In this powerful episode of Transforming Us, we're diving into one of the most fundamental human needs: connection. Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same relationship patterns? Or why some bonds feel so strong and others are fragile? The answer often lies in your attachment story.

Jessie and Tamara break down the science of relational attachment, exploring how our earliest experiences with parents, caregivers, and even adoption, create a blueprint for our adult relationships. We’ll talk about what "good enough" parenting really means and how attunement and deep emotional bo...

Duration: 00:49:14

In Episode 3 of Transforming Us, Jessie and Tamara delve into the essential practices of self-compassion and self-care, illuminating their profound impact on personal growth and emotional well-being. Join them as they explore how cultivating kindness towards yourself can transform your approach to relationship challenges.

This episode unpacks the vital role of emotional safety in building strong, healthy relationships, and how your faith can enhance your capacity for self-compassion. Discover how having grace for yourself fosters humility and authenticity, and how integrating difficult experiences builds true resilience.

Jessie and Tamara discuss the transformative power of self-care...

Duration: 00:47:12

In this episode 2, hosts Jessie and Tamara dive deep into the core of relationship patterns, exploring how our past experiences shape our present connections. Through vulnerable personal stories, they illuminate the power of self-reflection and healing, emphasizing that understanding your attachment style and Enneagram patterns is crucial for relational growth.

Join Jessie and Tamara as they discuss the profound impact of family dynamics and how early experiences can influence our adult relationships. They share insights on navigating conflicts, the importance of communication, and the role of faith in fostering transformation. Discover how recognizing that "hurt people hurt...

Duration: 00:51:05

Feeling disconnected and overwhelmed in your relationships? You're not alone. In this teaser for "Transforming Us," hosts Jess and Tamara, trauma-informed relationship coaches, dive into the focus of painful relationship patterns and the mental health crises they can trigger. Get ready to explore how cultivating curiosity and compassion can be your first steps towards healing.

This podcast is a journey of transformation, emphasizing the power of self-reflection and personal growth as the path to security. Discover how trauma-informed approaches can help you redeem old patterns and build healthier connections. Join them as they share new ideas and...

Duration: 00:05:39