EnterpriseSplaining

EnterpriseSplaining

By: Jamie, Maria, Bill

Language: en

Categories: Tv, Film, Fiction, Science, Comedy

EnterpriseSplaining - The podcast where we try to explain Star Trek: Enterprise to each other! We are bewildered by this show. We have questions - so many questions! Join Jamie, Bill, and Maria as they attempt to make sense of this 22-year-old show that represents one of the strangest chapters of Star Trek history. Haven’t watched or don’t want to watch the show? No problem! At EnterpriseSplaining, we’ll do that work for you! Every week, one of us will watch an episode and explain it to the others - or try to. No Star Trek knowledge is necess...

Episodes

Limitless Horizons Ltd.!
Jan 08, 2026

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 20 “Horizon,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. Joining us this week, we have a special guest, Jen Hathorn from The Wellness Check. This show is finally giving us an actual Travis episode where he has agency and character growth and gets to do more than just get injured off-screen! We get to meet Travis’ family and his childhood friends: baby-faced jacked guy and blond red-polo lady. Also, there is a lot of Frankenstein content for some reason (but not the one with Jacob Elordi's hot monster, unfortunately).

Rikermen...

Duration: 01:52:09

Second Contact: The Undiscovered Continuity!
Jan 01, 2026

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 19 “Judgement,” now that Jamie and Bill have watched it. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “The Undiscovered Continuity!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

Turbolift image that Jamie references here.

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network.

The show i...

Duration: 00:22:52
EnterpriseSplaining LXVI: The Undiscovered Continuity!
Dec 18, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 19 “Judgement,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. It's time for a good old fashioned courtroom episode! Archer has somehow been detained by the Klingons and accused of Crimes Against the Empire! Will he be put to death? Will he be sent to a VERY FAMILIAR prison planet slash dilithium mine? How did he get caught in the first place? Learn the answers to .. some of these questions in our latest episode.

Rikermendations:

Bill: The Last of Sheila (movie)Jamie: Valhalla (video game)Maria: Department Q

We n...

Duration: 01:11:42
Second Contact: When You Wisp Upon a Starship!
Dec 11, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting the Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 18 episode “The Crossing, ” which Scott Sigler explained to us last week in one of the funniest and strangest explainers we have ever had. He is back with us this week to hear how we thought his explainer lived up to the actual episode now that we’ve all seen it. Also, in our Mammary Alpha segment we determine once and for all whether “loyalty” is really an emotion.

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Whe...

Duration: 00:51:11
When You Wisp Upon a Starship!
Dec 04, 2025

It’s time for a non-corporeal body swap adventure! We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 18 “The Crossing ,” but only our guest, author Scott Sigler, has actually watched the episode. He tells us about one of the strangest episodes this show has thrown at us so far. 

Rikermendations:

Scott: The Crypt: Shakedown by Scott Sigler and Alien EarthBill: Jeremiah JohnsonMaria: FiskJamie: Long Story Short

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO N...

Duration: 01:23:50
Away Mission to Highlander!
Nov 27, 2025

This week we are taking a break from Star Trek Enterprise and instead going on an away mission to visit the 1986 movie Highlander. Jamie flat out refused to watch the movie, so instead, Bill and our special guest John Stephen King (who you may know as the voice of our computer) explain all of Highlander to a baffled Maria and Jamie.

Image References:

Stephen’s background imageModular SwordAlleged Bustier Sean Connery in Peacock FeathersRunning on the Beach

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos App...

Duration: 01:31:18
Second Contact: Smug Criminals!
Nov 20, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 17 “Canamar.” now that Jamie and Maria have watched it and have a lot of thoughts about this Star Trek version of ConAir (ConAirMar?). Also, in everyone’s favorite segment, Mammary Alpha, we learn about the absolutely bananas Memory Alpha page for “balls” (no, not THOSE balls). 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Smug Criminals!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

We now have merch! Show your lo...

Duration: 00:41:03
Smug Criminals!
Nov 13, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 17 “Canamar,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Archer confesses he's a criminal, Trip gets stuck next to That Guy on a long flight, and while T'Pol is in charge, everyone does their jobs competently. Is this the first Enterprise mirror universe episode? No, it's just another day in the life of this dysfunctional crew.

Rikermendations:

Jamie: Three Days of the Condor Maria: The Thursday Murder Club Bill: Hundreds of Beavers

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a P...

Duration: 01:06:41
Second Contact: Future Imperfect!
Nov 06, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 16 “Future Tense,” now that Maria and Bill have watched it.  A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Future Imperfect!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assistance by K.O. Myers at Particulate Me...

Duration: 00:35:28
Future Imperfect!
Oct 30, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 16 “Future Tense,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise discovers a ship that can travel through time and is bigger on the inside, and yet this is somehow not a Doctor Who crossover. 

Rikermendations:

Bill: House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski and The Cheese Monkeys by Chip KiddMaria: Mrs. Columbo 

Jamie: DragonCon

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the E...

Duration: 01:47:23
Second Contact: Vulcans Have No Balls!
Oct 23, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 15 “Cease Fire,” now that Jamie, Bill, and Maria have watched it. Joining us this week to discuss this episode is Elaine from the Monkeeing Around podcast A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Vulcans Have No Balls,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

Rikermendations:

Elaine: Psych 

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation S...

Duration: 01:15:23
Vulcans Have No Balls!
Oct 16, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 15 “Cease Fire,” but only our guest explainer Chuck from the Earth Station Trek podcast has actually watched the episode. The Vulcans and Andorians are at war over a small but strategically located planet. So, of course Captain Jonathan "the closest thing Starfleet has to an Ambassador" Archer is going to get involved in order to mediate a Cease Fire. 

Rikermendations:

Chuck: Alien EarthMaria: Tim Travers and the Time Travelers Paradox Bill: Tinker Taylor Soldier SpyJamie: Godzilla Minus One 

We now have merch! Show your love for Enterpris...

Duration: 01:23:17
Second Contact: Oops, I Hate It Again!
Oct 09, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 14 “Stigma,” now that Jamie and Bill have watched it. Sue from the Women at Warp podcast is joining us to give us some background on what was going on in this episode. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Oops, I hate it again!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

Rikermendations:

Sue: Fanlore.org (Star Trek fandom website)

We now have merch! Show your love fo...

Duration: 00:53:32
Oops, I Hate it Again!
Oct 02, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 14 “Stigma,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. T'Pol has to deal with some of the repercussions from the episode "Fusion," Phlox has to explain HIPPA laws to Archer, and Trip has an exciting B-plot involving one of Phlox's wives. Also, all the Vulcans lie all the time. As per usual in this show.

Rikermendations:

Jamie: Carly Rae Jepson's Emotion (album)Bill: Pirates of Penzance (1983 movie or any of the soundtracks)Maria: The Magicians (2007 British movie)

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and th...

Duration: 01:37:52
Second Contact: Only Murders in the Enemy Mine!
Sep 25, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 13 “Dawn,” now that Maria and Jamie have watched it. We also discuss the Memory Alpha page on feet and have an extra special edition of Two Truths and a Lie courtesy of our friends over at First Flight Podcast. 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Only Murders in the Enemy Mine!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 


We now have merch! Show yo...

Duration: 00:37:48
Only Murders in the Enemy Mine!
Sep 18, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 13 “Dawn,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. What if Enterprise tried to tackle the greatest TNG ep of all time, “Darmok” and mixed it up with 1985 sci-fi film “Enemy Mine?” And what if it was Trip facing off with the He-Man villain Rattlor! Sounds like a recipe for success! 

Rikermendations:

Jamie: Retro photo app Maria: Art Detectives Bill: The Name of the Rose

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplai...

Duration: 01:03:49
Away Mission to Quantum Leap!
Sep 11, 2025

We are taking a short break from Star Trek Enterprise this week to bring you this special bonus episode about Quantum Leap. Jamie tells Maria and Bill about her experience watching Quantum Leap for the first time after having already seen quite a bit of Scott Bakula in Enterprise.

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt!

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assistance by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media 

Follow us on Bl...

Duration: 00:39:51
Second Contact: I'm Too Sexy For This Episode!
Sep 04, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 12 “The Catwalk,” now that Maria and Bill have watched it and can tell us exactly how much of a whiney baby they think Malcolm was acting throughout this episode. Plus, in our Mammary Alpha segment we discuss the Memory Alpha page for “buttocks.” 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “I'm Too Sexy for This Episode!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

We now have merch! Show...

Duration: 00:23:15
I'm Too Sexy for This Episode!
Aug 28, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 12 “The Catwalk,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The entire Enterprise crew has to spend eight days living inside one of the ship's nacelles without showers or a change of clothes, but Archer still somehow manages to find a way to watch his beloved water polo and Malcolm acts like a whiny baby.

Rikermendations:

Maria: Batman NinjaBill: Wave, Listen to Me!Jamie: Clair Obscur: Exhibition 33

We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt...

Duration: 01:45:21
Second Contact: Trip Tucker, Swamp King!
Aug 21, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 11 “Precious Cargo,” now that Maria, Jamie, and Bill have watched it. Rebecca Watson joins us once again to hear our thoughts now that we've all watched this episode! A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Trip Tucker, Swamp King!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

Rikermendations:

Rebecca: Terry Pratchett's Discworld Series

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assistan...

Duration: 00:40:07
Trip Tucker, Swamp King!
Aug 14, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 11 “Precious Cargo.”  An extra-long bumper episode this week with a very special guest explainer! Join us as Rebecca Watson, having never watched Enterprise OR listened to our show explains this episode to us. Trip gets stranded in a swamp with Padma Lakshmi and Rebecca tries to tell us what is happening, all while getting everyone's name wrong.

Rikermendations:

Rebecca: Mickey 7 (book) and Mickey 17 (movie)Maria: The Great North (tv show)Jamie: Hip Hop Family Tree - Ed PiskorBill: Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey (video game), Necessary Roughness (movie)

We now...

Duration: 01:48:00
Second Contact: It was Misogyny All Along!
Aug 07, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 10 “Vanishing Point” now that Jamie, Bill, and our guest Kevin from The Flopcast have watched it, and we all have a lot of thoughts on how much we all kind of hated the twist ending. 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “It was Misogyny All Along!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

Plus, in our Mammary Alpha segment we talk about the Memory Alpha page on...

Duration: 00:39:36
It Was Misogyny All Along!
Jul 31, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 10 “Vanishing Point,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Watch as Jamie, Bill, and our special guest Kevin try to figure out what the heck is going on in this episode. Is it an alternate universe? A time shift? Or just plain old misogyny? The answer will almost certainly disappoint you. We're joined by Kevin, from The Flopcast podcast, who is just as confused as the rest of us!

Mentioned in episode:

Here’s the photo of Trip on the gyroscope thing

Rikermendations:

Kevin: Sharing...

Duration: 01:50:20
Second Contact: Three Body Problems!
Jul 24, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 9 “Singularity” now that Jamie and Maria have actually seen it. Also, we inexplicably have not yet scared away Nicole Gugliucci who came back this week to chat with us about the episode and tell us about her favorite and least favorite examples of astronomy science in Star Trek. 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Three Body Problems!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

Links for thin...

Duration: 00:54:43
Three Body Problems!
Jul 17, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 9 “Singularity,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. It's the Enterprise version of a three body problem as mysterious radiation coming from a black hole causes the crew to start taking their jobs seriously. Too seriously, in fact, as Hoshi obsesses over a recipe, Trip obsesses over fixing a chair, and Phlox obsesses over cutting Travis's skull open. Can T'Pol convince the crew to, you know, lighten up a bit before they're all dead? 

We also had a special guest joining us this week, the Noisy Astronomer themself, Nicole...

Duration: 01:37:31
Second Contact: Dude, Where's My Communicator?!
Jul 10, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 8 “The Communicator.” Now that Bill and Maria have watched it, we get to hear their thoughts on how Captain Archer messed up getting back a piece of equipment they left on a planet so hard that he managed to start a full-on world war.

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Dude, Where's My Communicator?!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part o...

Duration: 00:40:04
Dude, Where's My Communicator?!
Jul 03, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 8 “The Communicator,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. Malcolm accidently leaves his communicator on a pre-contact planet and attempts to recover it go sideways when Archer, for the first time ever, decides to take advice from T'Pol, which he then misapplies to disastrous consequences for everyone living on that planet. Sure he may have started a world war, but the important thing is that he learned an important lesson about... something.

Rikermendations:

Bill: Cyberpunk 2077Maria: TaskmasterJamie: Going to the theater (and specifically, for Chicagoans, going to see Fr...

Duration: 01:17:53
Second Contact: Mission T’Polsible!
Jun 26, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 7 “The Seventh,” now that Jamie and Bill have watched it. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Mission T'Polsible!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week.

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assistance by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media 

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain 

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining 

Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaini...

Duration: 00:26:08
Mission T’Polsible!
Jun 19, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 7 “The Seventh,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. T'Pol has some unfinished business with a fugitive she never managed to capture. She asks Archer to join her on the mission, which is good because it starts to trigger memories she didn't know she had. Much like the EnterpriseSplaining crew, who, for weeks after recording this, kept asking "What was that episode about again?"

Rikermendations:

Bill: The Fall (2006) - movieJamie: The Women (1939) - movieMaria: Carmen Sandiego for Switch - video game

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be par...

Duration: 01:31:52
Second Contact: The E-Team!
Jun 12, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 6 “Marauders,” now that Maria and Jamie have watched it. Plus, in the first ever Enterprise podcast crossover extravaganza, we are joined by Abby and Chris from the First Flight Podcast. 

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “The E-Team!,” we recommend listening to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

Rikermendations:

Abby: Storytime with Wil Wheaton Chris: Andor

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network...

Duration: 00:57:48
The E-Team!
Jun 05, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 6 “Marauders,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode.

In 2001, an unprepared crew was sent to deep space by Starfleet on a mission they were not prepared for. These men (and nearly a third women) promptly escaped orbit. Today, still wanted by multiple alien governments, they survive based on the value of the franchise name. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you're willing to endure war crimes....maybe you can hire the E-Team!

Rikermendations:

Jamie: Two Point Campus (video game)M...

Duration: 01:05:11
Second Contact: Sickbay Slumber Party!
May 29, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 5 “A Night in Sickbay,” now that Maria, Bill have watched it. We also have our special guest medical expert Topher back on to chat more about how medical science is portrayed on Star Trek. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Sickbay Slumber Party!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. 

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assistance by K.O. Myers at Pa...

Duration: 00:29:02
Sickbay Slumber Party!
May 22, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 5 “A Night in Sickbay,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. Archer brings his dog to the planet of easily offended people, despite it very obviously being a bad idea, and then has a temper tantrum when asked to apologize. Also, Porthos is sick, there is an escaped bat, and for some reason chainsaws are involved (?!). Plus, we have a special guest, medical expert Topher (Bluesky: @anisotoph), that we get to torture with the medical “science” in this episode. 

Rikermendations:

Maria: Deli Boys (tv show)Bill: My New Boss is...

Duration: 01:51:33
Second Contact: Always Read the Fine Print!
May 15, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 4 “Dead Stop,” but now Jamie and Bill have watched it. After going through a minefield last episode, the Enterprise and crew aren't in the best of shape. Malcolm has to have Phlox Worm PT and the ship is going to take years to repair. But they find a repair station that is going to solve all their problems and surely nothing at all will go awry...  A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Always Read the Fine Print...

Duration: 00:23:54
Always Read the Fine Print!
May 08, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 4 “Dead Stop,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. After going through a minefield last episode, the Enterprise and crew aren't in the best of shape. Malcolm has to have Phlox Worm PT and the ship is going to take years to repair. But they find a repair station that is going to solve all their problems and surely nothing at all will go awry…

Photo that Maria shows Bill and Jamie is here!

Rikermendations:

Bill: The Adventures of TarJamie: Random Number Generators (App: Pretty Random)M...

Duration: 01:28:26
Second Contact: Malcolm Gets Poked!
May 01, 2025

This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 3 “Minefield,” now that Maria and Jamie have actually watched it.  And we have special guest Dax on to tell us about the history of the Vulcans and Romulans!

A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, go listen to that first because this is a follow-up to last week. 

Guest: Dax (note: Dax has changed their preferred name since we recorded this episode, so you may hear us refer to them with a different...

Duration: 00:32:15
Malcom Gets Poked!
Apr 24, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 3 “Minefield,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Hey everyone it’s a Malcolm-focused episode which means the writers are shaking the Etch-A-Sketch and giving us another new take on the character. It all starts with an awkward breakfast and then HOLY CRAP things are blowing up. Can Malcolm and Archer navigate both a physical minefield and their emotional minefield as Malcolm finally confesses… ah just kidding. Anyway, Romulans.

Rikermendations:

Maria: The Wild Robot (movie) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt29623480/ Jamie: Conclave (movie) https://www.imdb.com/title...

Duration: 01:11:29
Second Contact: The Facts of Warp!
Apr 17, 2025

Surprise! We are changing our format around a little for season 2 and now, you’re going to see us in your feed weekly! Instead of reviewing the previous episode and going into the next one all in one episode, we are undertaking new Second Contact missions! Every other week, we’ll look at the episode we watched the week before, after everyone has watched it so you can get all our thoughts about this episode just a week after the explainer.

So welcome to Second Contact, where we revisit the Star Trek: Enterprise episode Carbon Creek. A word...

Duration: 00:16:33
The Facts of Warp!
Apr 10, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 2 “Carbon Creek,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. T’Pol tells Trip and Archer that they might not have their historical facts straight. This episode is widely considered one of the best Enterprise episodes, and we think we might agree. Does it have to do with the fact that none of the lead characters from Enterprise play any part in the story? You decide! We are joined by special guest, Bryan from the Trek, Marry, Kill podcast! 

Guest: Bryan from the Trek Marry Kill podcast

You can h...

Duration: 01:46:54
Mediocre White Man Energy!
Mar 27, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 1 “Shockwave Part II,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Suliban have taken over the Enterprise, Captain Archer is stuck in the future, and Starfleet is considering canceling the entire deep space program. The only way to save it is for Archer to give a rousing speech over a Teams call about that time he saw a gazelle give birth in Africa, but will it be enough? 

Rikermendations:

Maria: Elsbeth (tv show)Jamie: Roots of Pacha (video game)Bill: Tis Time for Torture Princess (anime and manga)<...

Duration: 01:46:38
Computer! End Season One!
Mar 13, 2025

We have reached the end of Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1! Jamie, Bill, and Maria are joined by Sue from the Women at Warp podcast to take a step back and talk about what it’s been like gettin’ from there to here. Who do we like? Who do we hate? What is this show even about? Why are we still watching it? How did we get through a full season? At what point will they replace Malcolm with Porthos and how much better will the show get when that happens?

Guest: Sue from the Women at Warp podc...

Duration: 01:49:01
Lady Planet Genocide!
Feb 27, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 26 “Shockwave Part 1,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Fam, it’s been a long road, but we’ve finally made it to the season one finale! Things go from bad to worse as the Enterprise crew accidentally commits genocide before a time wizard shows up to solve all their problems and are they even grateful? Hahahahahahahaha… no. It all ends in a cliffhanger where Archer is stranded in a horrific future and Enterprise is about to be destroyed in what frankly feels like some karmic payoff, but it’s all… to be con...

Duration: 01:32:08
Two Nights at The Roxbury!
Feb 13, 2025

SPECIAL GUEST: Jarrah from the Women at Warp podcast

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 25 “Two Days and Two Nights,” but only guest-explainer Jarrah has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew finally makes it to Risa, where heteronormativity abounds. It’s two days and two nights of scams, injuries, sexy language lessons, and some incredibly wild outfits and wigs.

Photo Reference #1: In the Shuttle

Photo Reference #2: In the Club

Rikermendations:

Maria: Much Ado About Nothing (1993 movie)Bill: The Trip (tv series)Jarrah: Smarty Pants (web series on Dropout...

Duration: 01:33:27
Archer of Arabia!
Jan 30, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 24: “Desert Crossing” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise responds to a distress call and the captain they rescue is so grateful, he invites Archer and Trip down to his sunny home planet for a visit. Looking forward to a boondoggle, the boys head to the planet where they drink some wine and enjoy some slow-motion space lacrosse before learning that they’re actually maybe in a terrorist camp and things switch from Baywatch to 24 REAL FAST.

Rikermendations

Jamie: Jensen McRae Are you Happy? (album)Bill: Th...

Duration: 01:10:26
Baby’s First VIP Escort Mission!
Jan 16, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 23: “Fallen Hero” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise gets to go on its very first ambassador escort mission! All they have to do is pick up an important Vulcan ambassador and then drop her off at a ship that’s a mere two days away. Easy peasy. Even this Enterprise crew can’t mess up a task that simple, right? 

Rikermendations

Maria: Crime Scene Kitchen (tv series)Bill: Lower Decks and DancingBacons (YouTube Channel)Jamie: The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo (book) and The Ghost Bride...

Duration: 01:38:40
Always Practice Safe Docking!
Jan 02, 2025

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 22: “Vox Sola” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have special guest K.O. Myers from Particulate Media joining us this episode. The Enterprise has been penetrated by a very slimy tentacled creature who has captured Archer, Trip, a random ensign, and Angelica Schuyler in its sticky slime. The slime creature will slowly devour them all if they aren’t freed soon, but that’s not even the worst part; their minds are all now psychically linked and Archer’s brain is constantly thinking about nothing but water polo. T’Pol...

Duration: 01:33:42
Quantum Leaping to Conclusions!
Dec 19, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 21: “Detained” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Archer and Mayweather blunder into a military zone and get thrown into an internment camp filled with Suliban. This is definitely not a knee-jerk reaction to 9/11 and certainly a nuanced and thoughtful take on a complex situation. Oh wait, no - it’s the opposite of that. But it brings the late, great Dean Stockwell back together with Scott Bakula and we’re pretty excited about that.

Rikermendations

Maria: Shrinking - Apple TV showBill: Spy X Family animeJamie: My Brilliant...

Duration: 01:48:05
It’s Shallot to Deal With!
Dec 05, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 20: “Oasis” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The crew comes across survivors of a ship crash and Trip flirts with a cute girl, but they have secrets and blah, blah, blah. Who are we kidding? We’re all just here to see René Aubernjonois act the shit out of his guest role on this episode.

Rikermendations

Maria: Wolfs (Apple TV Movie) Bill: Matt Berry’s album Television Themes Jamie: How to do Everything podcast 

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. 

Sound assi...

Duration: 01:42:17
A Pile O’ Women!
Nov 21, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 19: “Acquisition” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Ferengi pirates somehow manage to incapacitate every member of the Enterprise aside from a half-naked Trip, who is now tasked with saving the rest of the crew. The bad news is that the Ferengi are peak TNG-era annoying. The good news is that we will never have to see them again on this show.

Rikermendations

Maria: Queen Pins (movie)Bill: Only Murders in the Building (tv series)Jamie: Stereophonic cast recording (music)

EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part o...

Duration: 01:25:28
We Are Not Alone!
Nov 21, 2024

A quick check in from the EnterpriseSplaining crew to give you some exciting news! We are joining the ESO Network, a collection of geeky podcasts from across the internet. Everything you love about EnterpriseSplaining will remain the same, but we’ll be adding some special ESO intro and outros to each episode and will be taking a short break each episode to tell you about some of our sister podcasts on the ESO Network that we think you would enjoy.

To learn more about ESO Network, visit https://esonetwork.com/

Sound assistance by K.O. My...

Duration: 00:01:39
Talk Sluggy to Me!
Nov 07, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 18: “Rogue Planet” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew meets a group of alien hunters on a rogue planet and Archer falls in love with a slug lady. 

Thank you to Phil Plait for sending us some science on rogue planets. You can sign up for his Bad Astronomy newsletter and follow him on BlueSky @philplait 

Rikermendations

Maria: tv series The Brokenwood MysteriesBill: LudwigJamie: movie Footloose

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow u...

Duration: 01:47:42
Thanks, I Hate It!
Oct 24, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 17: “Fusion” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew meets some Vulcans that are happy to see them, which in and of itself should have been a big red flag. T’Pol warns everyone that these Vulcans are dangerous, but as usual no one listens to her until it’s too late. Plus, Trip makes a new B-plot friend! 

Rikermendations

Maria: the Vorkosigan book series by Lois McMaster BujoldBill: tv series Would I Lie to You?Jamie: anime Dungeon Meshi (Delicious in Dungeon)

Follow us o...

Duration: 01:45:24
Let's Space Malcolm!
Oct 16, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 16: “Shuttle Pod One” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have a special guest Andi from the Women at Warp podcast, getting her first-ever dose of Enterprise. Malcolm and Trip are stuck together in a cold shuttle pod with no way to get help, and because they are straight men, they will die of hypothermia before they cuddle together for warmth. 

Guest: Andi from Women at Warp. You can also follow her on Twitter/X @FirstTimeTrek

Mentioned: the Women at Warp “Where is HR episode?”...

Duration: 01:39:27
Logic is an Emotion!
Sep 26, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 15: “Shadows of P’Jem” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Vulcans are looking for a fall guy for that time the Enterprise crew destroyed all their religious artifacts back in “The Andorian Incident.” Plus, our favorite Andorian is back and we get to meet an alien who wears pink pleather hammer pants.

These are the space audio voyager recordings we used courtesy of NASA and The University of Iowa. https://space-audio.org/ 

We learned about them from Dr. Nicole Gugliucci, who you can follow on BlueSky...

Duration: 01:38:26
The Sleeping Dogs Are a Lie!
Sep 12, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 14: “Sleeping Dogs” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise investigates a gas giant, Archer pouts because the Klingons don’t like him, Malcolm has a cold, and Hoshi and T’Pol are weirdly catty to each other but then share A Moment. Also, Seelix is back to talk about her thoughts on the last episode, “Dear Doctor.”

Follow Seelix on Bluesky: @seelix 

Rikermendations:

Bill: The Langley School’s Music Project: Innocence & Despair

Maria: Butterfly in the Sky - documentary on Netflix

Jam...

Duration: 01:40:40
Encounter at Midpoint!
Aug 29, 2024

It’s been a looooong road, but we’ve somehow made it though half of the first season of Star Trek: Enterprise. I know. We are as surprised as you! For this episode, we are all taking a much needed respite from the show and taking stock of our feelings so far. We also have a special guest joining us, Charles from the Earth Station Trek podcast, who actually knows some things about Star Trek. Yes, that’s right. We invited an actual Star Trek expert onto our Star Trek podcast. He kindly let us pepper him with very import...

Duration: 01:49:16
Dr. Phlox, Space Veterinarian!
Aug 15, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 13: “Dear Doctor” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have a special guest, Seelix, join us to tell us if the science in the episode is accurate (spoiler: that is not how evolution works!). Phlox and Archer wrestle with some gnarly ethical issues which could have been solved if only they had a clear doctrine. Perhaps some sort of… directive. 

Follow Seelix on Bluesky: @seelix 

Jamie and Seelix will both be part of Science Track at DragonCon 2024! Look for their panels in the DragonCon schedule u...

Duration: 01:21:48
The Sheep Prince Wants Friendship For His Birthday!
Aug 01, 2024

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 12: “Silent Enemy” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Hoshi stalks Malcolm, proving he is the most boring person who has ever existed and some mysterious aliens do a bunch of mysterious things for reasons that are never explained. Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Jamie.

Rikermendations:

Bill: Star Trek Legends video gameMaria: KB Wagers Indranan War seriesJamie: Long Live the Queen video game

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on...

Duration: 01:30:03
You Sir Are No Time Fixer!
Jul 18, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 11: “Cold Front” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. We meet a time traveler who makes very good eggs and something, something temporal cold war. Join us as Jamie attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Maria.

Rikermendations:

Bill: the Highlander moviesMaria: the Back to the Future moviesJamie: Shirley Jackson’s books The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagra...

Duration: 01:35:33
OK Space Boomer!
Jul 04, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 10: “Fortunate Son” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Travis makes a boomer friend and then has a falling out with said boomer friend. And, despite being an episode all about boomers, we still somehow don’t learn what “boomer” actually means. Join us as Bill attempts to explain the episode to Maria and Jamie.

Rikermendations

Bill: The Wee Free Men (Audiobook) by Terry PratchettMaria: Dead Boy Detectives on Netflix (NOTE: The allegations against Neil Gaiman were not public knowledge at the time we recorded this episode)Jamie: Every adaptation o...

Duration: 01:21:24
Sid Meier’s Prime Directive!
Jun 20, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 9: “Civilization” but only Maria has actually watched the episode! The Enterprise crew get up to shenanigans on a pre-contact planet and demonstrate why someone needs to invent the prime directive stat! Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Jamie and Bill.

Rikermendations

Bill: the movie 2010 The Year We Make ContactMaria: the movie Flamin’ HotJamie: the podcast Taboo Science

Duration: 01:24:45
Resting Vague Disquiet Face!
Jun 06, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 8: “Breaking the Ice” but only guest-explainer Christian has actually watched the episode! Travis and Malcolm build a snowman on a comet while Trip digs through all T’Pol’s personal files just for funsies. Join us as Christian attempts to explain the episode to Jamie, Bill, and Maria. 

Rikermendations

Bill: tv show A Place Further Than the UniverseMaria: tv show Star Trek DiscoveryJamie: video game Stardew Valley (replay it!)Christian: book Superpowereds by Drew Hayes

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us...

Duration: 01:21:33
Unnecessary Torture!
May 23, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 2, Episode 7: “The Andorian Incident” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode! Archer and Trip join T’Pol on a visit to a Vulcan monastery where they are extremely respectful of the alien culture. Just kidding! They destroy a bunch of priceless Vulcan artifacts and are rude to a group of monks. Join us as Jamie attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Maria.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagram.com/enterprisesplaining/]

Like us on Fa...

Duration: 01:53:22
Bone Sax!
May 09, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 6: “Terra Nova” but only Maria has actually watched the episode! The Enterprise goes to find some answers about a colony that was lost 70 years ago. What could possibly go wrong? Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Jamie.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagram.com/enterprisesplaining/]

Like us on Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/EnterpriseSplaining]

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 01:44:05
Wrist Nipples!
Apr 25, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 5: “Unexpected” but only Bill has actually watched the episode! Trip has a sexy encounter with a shiny alien lady and sticks his fingers where they don’t belong, getting himself in a bit of a bind. Let’s just say his predicament led us to ask the question “Do wrist nipples have mammary glands?” Join us as Bill attempts to explain the episode to Maria and Jamie.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 01:29:54
Yells at Wall in Vulcan!
Apr 11, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 4: “Strange New World” but only Maria has actually watched the episode! The Enterprise crew gets stranded on an alien planet where strange things are happening and Trip goes on a trip of his own! Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Jamie and Bill.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 01:22:50
The Chronicles of Sluggo!
Mar 28, 2024

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 3: “Fight or Flight” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode! The Enterprise encounters an abandoned ship filled with dead aliens and does mostly everything wrong. Join us as Jamie attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Maria.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 01:22:20
Sexy Decontamination Time!
Mar 14, 2024

Since the pilot episode was so long, we decided to split it into two episodes. This portion features the sexy decontamination scene you’ve all been waiting for! Join Jamie, Bill, and Maria as they work through the second half of the pilot episode of Star Trek: Enterprise, “Broken Bow.”

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagram.com/enterprisesplaining/]

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 01:22:36
Space Australians!
Mar 14, 2024

Jamie, Bill, and Maria attempt to explain the first half of the pilot episode of Star Trek: Enterprise, “Broken Bow” to each other. We’re introduced to the crew of the first Enterprise and their first mission to help a wounded Klingon. Let’s see how it all started.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]

Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagram.com/enterprisesplaining/]

Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

Duration: 00:46:43
Hey, It's Enterprisesplaining!
Feb 29, 2024

Enterprisesplaining is a podcast about Star Trek: Enterprise. Three people who have never seen the show describe the adventures of the first starship Enterprise, and what can only be called the crabbiest crew in Star Trek history. They have the knowledge. They have the perspective. They have the faith of the heart. But, most importantly, they have microphones.

Duration: 00:03:12