Crime Drama Queens
By: Alexis Roy and Lily Carrodus
Language: en-gb
Categories: Tv, Film, Comedy, Reviews
Two old friends, Lily and Lex, chat about their love of TV crime dramas and murder mysteries. Each episode they watch and discuss a different show and what it means to them.
Episodes
Episode fifty eight - We are interimming on christmas TV!
Jan 09, 2026Send us a text
Listeners! We're back! We have missed you! Have you missed us? (don't answer that)
We're back for a quick interim ep to talk about the crime dramas we did and didn't watch over Christmas. Don't worry, there are no spoilers this week, so if you haven't watched anything and are planning to catch up, then you can listen with confidence. Unless you are looking forward to The Good Ship Murder. We may burst your bubble on that one.
Plus, you get an unnecessarily detailed synopsis of Jodie Foster's 2005 Thriller "F...
Duration: 00:33:25Episode fifty seven - "Maigret" (season one, episode one, "Maigret Sets a Trap")
Dec 20, 2025Send us a text
Bonjour! We're in Paris and our detective, Maigret, is investigating a series of stabbings. Unfortunately for him the press, his boss, and sometimes his wife, all think he's doing a RUBBISH job. But fear not, with the help of his pipe and fedora, he will solve this case. But not before there are a couple more killings. He gets his man and, would you believe it, the problem was WOMEN all along.
Having said all that, we really liked this one! We also enjoyed envisioning Rowan Atkinson playing various other roles f...
Duration: 00:46:58Episode fifty six - "Death on the Tyne"
Dec 06, 2025Send us a text
What do a harpoon, a corkscrew, a giant toblerone, and Jane McDonald's secretions all have in common? They're all murder weapons of course!
Welcome to the delightfully bonkers Death on the Tyne! This isn't our usual speed but we loved it, especially as it stars our heroine, Sue Johnston. If you fancy murders on a ship, but don't want The Good Ship Murder (and, fair play if you don't) then watch Death on the Nile (the Peter Ustinov one).
Once you've done that, watch Death on the Tyne! It's no...
Duration: 00:48:29Episode fifty five - "The Madame Blanc Mysteries" (season one, episode three)
Nov 22, 2025Send us a text
Friends, this whole episode is about us finding more Sue Johnston to love, with a bit of Madame Blanc on the side. Actually, this is probably our most chaotic episode yet. Yay!
Fear not, we still spend plenty of time in the world of Jean White, aka Madame Blanc, along with dodgy antiques dealers, our foreign language failings, layers of wigs, and, be still our beating hearts, a CHUCKLE BROTHER (Even if we get a bit confused about which Chuckle Brother)!
This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, o...
Duration: 00:53:27Episode fifty four - "Murphy's Law" (season one, episode four(ish), "Kiss and Tell")
Nov 07, 2025Send us a text
Has "Murphy's Law" ever been compared to the 70's classic "Abigail's Party" before? Well, there's a first time for everything. This early episode of Jimmy Nesbitt's gritty cop drama combines high farce with delicate pathos in a way that is, in Lex's words, "confusing."
Which blonde was it?? Stay tuned to find out.
This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and, if course, is full of SPOILERS.
Our next episode is on "The Madame Blanc Mysteries," season one episode three. This is available on 5 on demand in...
Duration: 00:48:31Episode fifty three - "Hetty Wainthropp Investigates" (season two, episode one, "Poison Pen")
Oct 27, 2025Send us a text
Apologies for the tardy release of this one; half term duties disrupted things a smidge! But have no fear, Hetty is here at last. She is on the trail of a poison pen writer who has a whole village gripped in terror - who will be accused of being a shag bandit rubber knickers next??
Sue Johnston graces our screens again at last, albeit in a huge black wig, and thankfully there is no Lozza Fox to upset the balance. Instead we indulge in dubonnet talk, our favourite BBC complaints, and L...
Duration: 00:59:48Episode fifty two - "The Inspector Lynley Mysteries" (season one, episode two, "Payment in Blood")
Oct 10, 2025Send us a text
Let's play Crime Drama bingo!
We have a closed circle mystery in a country house with the Met Police drafted in to solve multiple murders featuring arterial spray on the ceiling along with adultery and a splash of incest! Lynley has got it all! Lynley himself has the demeanor of Tory MP harrassing an intern, and his side kick, Havers, has the hairstyle of her name sake, Nigel Havers (who probably has played a Tory MP in his time), but that's not the half of it. We also have a young I...
Duration: 00:47:35Episode fifty one - "Touching Evil" (season two, episodes one and two)
Sep 26, 2025Send us a text
Oh, the nineties, the decade of crime drama that just keeps giving! Touching Evil is at the gritty end of the scale and has all the tropes we have come to know and roll our eyes at. There is bad arterial spray, good arterial spray, creepy killers, and very low lighting. And at the end of this episode you may understand why we have only been communicating with each other via Jimmy Nesbitt gifs all week. This wasn't our favourite, but at least we have Robson Green's "piercing blue eyes", and "sexual charisma"...
Duration: 00:55:16Episode FIFTY! "Whitstable Pearl" (season two, episode six, "For Those We Love")
Sep 12, 2025Send us a text
Welcome to our FIFTIETH EPISODE! (Not including bonus or interimming etc.)
This milestone completely passed us by when we were recording this. Never mind. Onwards!
Kerry Godliman plays our heroine, Pearl Nolan, and there is a suitable amount of silliness on offer in Whitstable Pearl. However, we'd had a couple of little drinkies and get waylaid along some tangents. We discuss bad crisp flavours, Lex's inability to relax wearing clothes, appropriate wedding canopes, DIY fails, and how to kill someone with an oyster.
Also, if you do wa...
Duration: 00:47:06Episode forty nine - "London Kills" (season two, episode one, "The Dark")
Aug 22, 2025Send us a text
*The version that we initially published was dodgy - nowt untoward, but Lily's track blanked out for 15 mins. Maybe you'd prefer it like this? Anyway, this version should be complete. Apols!*
London Kills... a great tagline for our capital city? Possibly not, but not a bad programme as it turns out.
A body is found under some decking in the garden of a student house in Camden. A STUDENT house. In CAMDEN. With a GARDEN. Forget the murder, this is a mystery that needs investigating.
Th...
Duration: 00:52:49Interimming aloooone
Aug 08, 2025Send us a text
Lex is in Turkey and Lily is FINE with that.
Our next episode is on "London Kills" season two, episode one. It is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, Acorn TV and others in the US, and Binge and Foxtel in Australia. Watch out for those buses.
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov
Episode forty eight - "Death Valley" (season one, episode three)
Jul 29, 2025Send us a text
Better late than never! Apologies for the late episode, the combination of lack of WiFi and the school holidays scuppered us for a few days. But we're here now! In Death Valley! No, not the American one, the one in Wales with all the murders and Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey.
Basically four weddings and not a funeral, but someone who dies because laxative poisoning made their head explode...or something.
Lex's sound is dodgy on this one but really, it's all relative.
This episode contains des...
Duration: 00:49:51Episode forty seven - "Vincent" (season two, episode one, "Taking the Rap")
Jul 12, 2025Send us a text
Welcome to Vincent AND TEAM. Because Vincent would be nothing without his team. Well, he would be dead or in prison. And that's what happens when you try and deal with things just using your fists.
Anyway, it turns out that Lex really likes Ray Winstone, and arterial spray (although not together), and that her first born slept really well as a baby. Lily is also fussy about arterial spray but has no such feelings about Ray Winstone, nor similar memories of her babies.
We talk about the programme as...
Duration: 00:55:30Episode forty six - "Foyle's War" (season two, episode four, "The Funk Hole")
Jun 27, 2025Send us a text
Detective Chief Superintendent Christopher Foyle has a crime to solve, and it's in a Funk Hole (brother, check it out now)! It's WWII and there are crimes aplenty, most of them in said funk hole, which is not an underground bar, but an excuse for a hotel putting up those who wish to tap out of the war, and can afford to do so. There are a couple of deaths, some stolen tinned ham, and even accusations of sedition against Foyle himself!
Tune in now to find out not only what h...
Duration: 00:55:04Episode forty five - "Grace" (season three, episode one, "Dead Like You")
Jun 13, 2025Send us a text
Trigger warning - there is a LOT of talk of sexual assault in this episode as it is the main theme of the program we are discussing. If you'd rather give this one a swerve, we completely understand and we'll see you again next time.
Brighton, 2012: Lots of women are attacked in Brighton by a man in a rubber suit, wielding a sex toy.
Brighton, 2023: The rubber suit man is back, and Roy Grace is out to get him.
There's a lot to be gro...
Duration: 00:51:43Interimming - minisode
Jun 06, 2025Send us a text
Two middle aged women talk about what they're watching on TV and forget a lot of people's names.
Our next full length episode will be on on 13th June 2025 and will be on "Grace" season three, episode one, "Dead Like You." It's as sinister as it sounds.
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov
Episode forty four - "Pie in the Sky" (season three, episode two, "Game Pie")
May 24, 2025Send us a text
Another pheasant shoot, another dead (human) body. Get new interests, people! These shoots aren't safe! This is especially true for the high ranking hobbyists of Westershire police force, ACC Fisher, and Inspector Henry Crabb. Henry is a chef and a policeman, because why not? He's also not great with cash and manages to lose a wad of it in the opening scenes. Because of this he winds up catering the shoot in question and, naturally, having to investigate the death of the day.
This is a short episode from us as, on...
Duration: 00:34:38Episode forty three - "Ellis" (season one, episode three, "Brindleton")
May 15, 2025Send us a text
At last! The long awaited Ellis! Channel Five have come good with this one (adverts notwithstanding) as Ellis is not half bad. Sharon D. Clarke is pretty fab, if a bit brooding, in the title role, and the story holds together so long as you don't think about it too much, which, of course, we do.
There are citizen journalists, the most annoying woman in the world, a kid with a drone, a man running round clutching his amputated hand, and an absolutely incompetent murderer. We also discuss how our gen...
Duration: 00:52:12Not the episode you've been waiting for.
May 09, 2025Send us a text
Hey crime drama lovers,
Sorry about the lack of a proper episode this week - Lex has been facing challenges at work that even a team including Jane Tennison, Endeavour Morse, Sherlock Holmes, and Jackson Brodie would struggle to overcome. We will get "Ellis" out to you next week!
In the meantime, here is Lily rambling on for five minutes.
Our next episode will be on "Ellis" season one, episode three. This can be found on C5 on demand in the UK, on Ap...
Duration: 00:04:27Episode forty two - "Case Histories" (season one, episodes one and two, "Case Histories.")
Apr 25, 2025Send us a text
Welcome to our first episode recorded face to face, in the same room rather than hundreds of miles apart! We had a WONDERFUL time, although the benefit to you is nil. The sound quality is patchy (we had tried for a studio but it was Good Friday and weverything was closed) as we were in Lily's airbnb room, and we are horribly hungover as we had been out celebrating Lex's birthday the night before.
Having said that, we talk all things Case Histories, from the flawed, if highly appealing, main detective, t...
Duration: 00:54:06Episode forty one - "Rosemary and Thyme" (season three, episode five, "Three Legs Good")
Apr 11, 2025Send us a text
First off, let us apologise for the amount we talk about the weather and various weather apps at the beginning. It's almost like we didn't want to talk about Rosemary and Thyme. Almost.
But we do get into it, and what towering achievment of television it isn't. There are two people shot dead, some extortion, terrible wallpapering, a menace on wheels, our heros merrily encouraging toxic relationships, and a three legged dog that gets the blame. Oh, and the MISSING CURRY PLANTS! SOUND THE ALARUMS, WE HAVE PLANT THEFT!
So...
Duration: 00:52:26Episode forty - "Towards Zero"
Mar 28, 2025Send us a text
It's another Agatha Christie! Drink every time Lily says "I know we're not talking about the book, but..."
Actually, don't, that would be dangerous. Protect the NHS.
We had some dramas while recording this episode as a plusnet engineer started drilling into Lily's house, and then the internet cut out so she had to drive across town to keep recording elsewhere. But don't worry, we've cut all that from the edit...we had to, otherwise this episode would have been as long as Towards Zero itself, and if you've w...
Duration: 00:59:40Episode thirty nine - "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" (season one, episode two, "The Dancing Men.")
Mar 14, 2025Send us a text
Enter stage left: A tall, pale, man in a deerstalker. Spry, and somewhat unnerving, Jeremy Brett is to some people (Lily), but not others (Lex), the definitive Sherlock Holmes. It's not an absolute belter of a episode though as an intervention by a couples therapist would have perhaps been more suitable to the problem at hand.
Lex bemoans the lack of brouhaha, but at least we have dancing stick figures, a head of hair that seems to grow like expanding foam, and some of the most extraordinary facial hair ever to g...
Duration: 00:51:07Episode thirty eight - "Wallander" (season one, episode one, "Sidetracked")
Feb 28, 2025Send us a text
Kenneth Branagh shines in this anglicised version of the skandi noir classic, Wallander. However, it's not that hard to shine when everything around you is so incredibly bleak. Having said that, there are lots of bodies, and one of them is even heavily charred, while the others are axed and scalped, so plenty to enjoy on that front. We we also have dodgy eye shadow (sorry, Linda), a pair of shittens (sorry, Linda), and a very unfortunate face mask.
We quite enjoyed this, but if you are feeling a bit hollowed o...
Duration: 00:54:17Episode thirty seven - "Father Brown" (season twelve, episode one, "The Battle of Kembleford")
Feb 14, 2025Send us a text
Silly hats, squabbling academics, tudor costumes, death by antique sword...what can we say? Just the usual antics in the world of crime drama. We've seen all these things before but this time we are in the world of Father Brown. It's not the greatest introduction to the world of G.K. Chesterton's crime solving priest, but if you are into secret codes and battle reinactments, you are in for a treat.
Apologies for the weird knocking sounds. Both our tracks, recorded on different devices, several hundred miles apart, had strange k...
Duration: 00:51:54Episode thirty six - "Patience" (season one, episode three, "The Missing Link")
Jan 31, 2025Send us a text
York, present day: A woman is found dead inside a dinosaur exhibit. Not inside the exhibit, you understand. Not wodged in with the dinosaurs. Only a total fool would think that.
And she drowned....
OR DID SHE?
Well, Patience, our eagle eyed investigative consultant, knows that she did. And Patience leads our professional detectives gently through the clues of dino bones, dodgy tattoos, and google maps. We follow along too, getting occasionally distracted by men named Russell, Lex dressing up as a baguette and/or a tudor c...
Episode thirty five - "Dalziel and Pascoe" (season one, episode one, "A Clubbable Woman")
Jan 17, 2025Send us a text
A woman has been clubbed in the head with a toffee hammer, but it's ok, as she was "clubbable," and probably deserved it. Oh, and the clowns in Brussels have got rid of toffee hammers so maybe she was shot instead. Confused?
Welcome to the world of Detective Superintendent Andy Dalziel!
He's assisted by Detective Sergeant Peter Pascoe, who has the audacity to be university educated, and is VERY smug about it.
It's the 90s so buckle up! We have a rugby club, hookers that hook, sex...
UPDATE: A change for our next episode.
Jan 08, 2025Send us a text
Hello all, here we are again. Quick update to let you know we're binning off Father Brown as the episode we were going to talk about is no longer avilable on "U" and we can't find it anywhere else. After all that fuss about finding the app and stuff. Tsk. Anyway, we've decided to do something else.
The something else:
"Dalziel and Pascoe," season one, episode one, "A Clubbable Woman." Yes, a woman gets clubbed to death. It is available in the UK on BBC Iplayer and ITVX, a...
Lex is on holidaaaaay!
Jan 03, 2025Send us a text
There's no full length episode this week because Christmas and New Year threw us off our stride. Come on now, take a deep breath and wipe your tears - we'll get one to you soon.
In this little minisode Lily tries to do a short review of the crime dramas and murder mysteries on offer this Christmas, but without Lex to gently rein her in, gets slightly distracted. Happy New Year!
***UPDATE*** Our next episode will NOT be on Father Brown, season five, episode two, "The Labyrinth of th...
Episode thirty four - "Midsomer Murders" (season sixteen, episode one, "A Christmas Haunting")
Dec 20, 2024Send us a text
It's CHRIIIISTMAS! And the village of Codswallop Shallows (or similar) is celebrating by hosting lots of ghost hunts, just as Jesus would have wanted.
There are only two bodies in this one, so it's not an all time classic, but we do have Mark Heap in a mustard jumper, Les Dennis in a variety of outfits, and a steely eyed man in a barbour jacket who doesn't know what to do with his arms. Fun and games!
We struggle with the usual tech issues, mispronounce names, and set Viking R...
Episode thirty three - "Return to Paradise," (season one, episode one, "R.I.P. Tide")
Dec 06, 2024Send us a text
You know the drill, a Met Police officer has left London and is solving crimes in someone else's backyard. This time the dectective in question is returning to her own backyard - Dolphin Cove, which is just down the coast from Summer Bay, Australia.
We discuss Neighbours, Home and Away, Enid Blyton, Mein Kampf, and even, occasionally, the programme in question.
But whether you're interested in Return to Paradise or not, tune in anyway to find out what rugby injury Lex is sporting today!
At the time...
Episode thirty two - "Silent Witness" season 27, episodes 1 and 2, "Effective Range.")
Nov 22, 2024Send us a text
*This is the second of a two parter on Silent Witness so you may want to listen to part one (ep 31 on Silent Witness season 4, eps and 6) if you want to get the references. But we're not the boss of you so do as you like.*
We're back! And this time with Dr Nikki Alexander and lots of dead crows. Hardly anyone is "well nourished," and nobody is "heavily charred," so already things are looking up. Also, there's just a bit more going on. If it wasn't for the rage baiting t...
Episode thirty one - "Silent Witness" (season 4, episodes 5 and 6, "A Good Body.")
Nov 22, 2024Send us a text
Its the first in our two part Silent Witness Extravaganza and we couldn't be more excited! Or we were, until we watched this. We are not the biggest fans of Professor Sam Ryan. Sorry, Sam, but you are a sanctimonious bore. And you use the phrase "making love," which has not been good for our digestive health.
Someone gets almost beaten to death, someone gets electrodes attached to their testicles, and someone else has to kneel down in front of Sam for her viewing pleasure, and yet still this is incredibly d...
Episode thirty - "Cadfael" (season two, episode three "A Morbid Taste For Bones")
Nov 08, 2024Send us a text
A monk gets bled, has a hallucination, gets fed opium, and the upshot is that there is a murder that Cadfael has to solve, in three days or less. The twelfth century is tough enough without all the slings, arrows, and outrageous hair extensions, but Derek Jacobi and his tonsure are here to save the day.
This one wasn't Lex's fave (despite the presence of the Demon Headmaster - apols for the 20 mins we spend discussing his resume), but Lily is a fan of this particular time period so is happy...
Episode twenty nine: "Ludwig" (season one, episode two)
Oct 25, 2024Send us a text
We haven't LOVED the newer shows we've covered so far, but that changes here and now because we loved Ludwig. In fact, the only thing that could have made it better would be David Mitchell crooning at the end of each episode. However, we will do without that, and instead indulge in problem solving (spot the difference), person case hunting, teambuilding exercises, and Lex's advice on the best way of disoposing of a dead body. Give her a break though, she was concussed at the time of recording.
Oh, and Felicity Ke...
Episode twenty eight - "Midsomer Murders" (season fifteen, episode six, "Schooled in Murder")
Oct 11, 2024Send us a text
It's our one year anniversary! Whoop whoop! And to celebrate, Lex has covid. But like a hero, like an avenging angel, she comes through for us and we battle through this delightful, cheesy, nonsense. See what I did there?
We have garroting, stabbing, death by cow, and of course, Martine and that truckle of cheese.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us this first year, politely downloading and listening to two women with declining hormones forget people's names and offload about actors they do and don't like...
Episode twenty seven - "Luther" (season one, episode one)
Sep 27, 2024Send us a text
Caution - a dog gets murdered in this episode of Luther. And people are murdered too of course, but that goes without saying.
Discussions include Luther's questionable processes (#notallMETpolice), whether a woman who pouts is more fascinating that a woman who doesn't, and the impact that Danny DeVito's presence would have had over the whole affair. In fact, we discuss Danny DeVito more than anything else. BUT there is no mention of The Marlowe Murder Club. You're welcome.
At the time of recording Luther was available in the UK on B...
Episode twenty six - "The Good Ship Murder" (season one, episode two, "Lisbon")
Sep 13, 2024Send us a text
Ok, we didn't love this one, but we did find a reason to be optimistic. Was it the plot? The scripts? The acting? Shayne Ward's linen wardrobe? No. None of those. But even in the darkest of times, we found one thing to love. Have a listen to find out what it was.
At time of recording, The Good Ship Murder was available to watch in the UK on My5, in the US on Prime Video and Apple TV, and on SBS On Demand in Australia.
This episodes...
Episode twenty five - "Agatha Christie's Marple" (season six, episode two, "Greenshaw's Folly")
Aug 30, 2024Send us a text
"Can it be? ...it's my own particular one and only four starred pussy. The super pussy of all old pussies..."*
IT'S MISS MARPLE!
And it's Jane Marple in midsomer land with a high body count and bonkers deaths. We LOVED this and quite frankly, we don't care if you didn't. It's even got Matt from Busted in it.
Apols for the cameos by Lex's dog (cat?) and a five year old boy. Summer hols, innit.
* Sir Henry Clithering in "A Murder is Announced", by Agatha...
Episode twenty four - "The Turkish Detective" (season one, episodes one and two)
Aug 16, 2024Send us a text
Stop me if you've heard this: A detective from the Met Police gets transferred to a complelety different jurisdiction and has to join a team of quirky locals to solve a baffling murder. Nope, it's not Death in Paradise, it's not even McDonald and Dodds! Because we're in Turkey this time, for the Turkish Detective!
No cliche is left unturned in these opening episodes, but that doesn't mean we don't have hope for the future, so hang in there. If nothing else, listen to find out what Lex used to secrete...
Episode twenty three - "New Tricks" (season seven, episode six, "Fashion Victim.")
Aug 02, 2024Send us a text
"IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S OK, DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF YOU'RE OLD AND GREY...!"
You're welcome, everyone.
It's New Tricks, and we have the OG team of Sandra, Jerry, Jack, and Brian. There's a lot of stomping around wearing macs, grumbling, and trying to get straight answers out of people. The late, great, Dennis Waterman sings the above theme tune, and gets slated for having the audacity to wear a half decent jacket.
Sorry this one is a bit late, we've been watching the Olympics.
...
Episode twenty two - "Professor T" (season one, episode five, "Sophie Knows.")
Jul 19, 2024Send us a text
In Professor T we have another psychology professor who helps the police solve crimes, but Jasper Tempest is no Cracker. Thankfully.
There are singing teapots, bubbles aplenty, and a badger. Or a fellow called Badger. We don't dwell too much on the crime in this one, but get slightly distracted with a subplot focusing on questionable dating etiquette (do you always need to attend a date in person, or can you send a sub?), our own personal remiscences about posters (they are things we pulled from magazines, and stuck to the...
Episode twenty one - "Cracker" (season one, episodes one and two, "The Mad Woman in the Attic.")
Jul 05, 2024Send us a text
In this episode we take the adage "if you don't laugh, you'll cry," to the absolute maximum. And friends, we manage not to cry.
It's 1993 and Edward "Fitz" Fitzgerald has been, you've guessed it, hired as a consultant to the police. He traumatises everyone around him, which is weird considering he supposed to be such an amazing psychologist, but he is good at catching the bad guy, so that's ok.
And by the way, the name we couldn't get - Vicky McClure. So now you know.
...
Episode twenty - "Life on Mars" (season one, episode five)
Jun 21, 2024Send us a text
It's 1973 and Sam Tyler is mad, in a coma, or back in time. There are HUGE lapels, clicky man heels, indoor smoking, and some alledged cattle rustling. We're not sure if we're supposed to fancy Gene Hunt, but we're not judging you if you do.
There's a lot of football in this one, but don't let that put you off. There's a lot to love about Sam, Gene, Annie, and the gang, and if nothing else, it's reignited our love for chicken in a basket.
At time of recording. Lif...
Episode nineteen - Beyond Paradise (season two, episode one)
Jun 07, 2024Send us a text
DI Humphrey Goodman has left St Marie in the Caribbean and is now living in the fictional town of Shipton Abbot in Devon with his partner, Martha. And Martha's mother. And a duck named Selwyn.
You're not going to believe it, but there's been a MURDER! On a steam train! It's all very Agatha Christie and Lily can barely contain her excitement. It's not a bad little mystery actually, so even if you didn't get along with season one of Beyond Paradise, this little gem from the pen of Tony Jordan is...
Episode eighteen - Prime Suspect (season four, episode two, "Inner Circles")
May 24, 2024Send us a text
Oh Dame Helen, WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
Despite this episode being actually quite dull in places, and much of it being centered around municipal council decision making processes, it was still weirdly brilliant.
That is you can get past the middle aged bank managers masquerading as teenagers, an apparently bog standard sex death, and the tumblers of whiskey...which we could.
Although we would prefer a garnish in our drinks, and perhaps a litle umbrella.
Chin chin!
At time of recording this epsisode was...
Episode eighteen - Prime Suspect (season 4, episode 2, "Inner Circles")
May 24, 2024Send us a Text Message.
Oh Dame Helen, WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
Despite this episode being actually quite dull in places, and much of it being centered around municipal council decision making processes, it was still weirdly brilliant.
That is you can get past the middle aged bank managers masquerading as teenagers, an apparently bog standard sex death, and the tumblers of whiskey...which we could.
Although we would prefer a garnish in our drinks, and perhaps a litle umbrella.
Chin chin!
At time of recording this eps...
Episode seventeen - Sherlock (season one, episode one, "A Study in Pink")
May 10, 2024Send us a text
Calling all Cumberbitches! It's time for Sherlock! We're back in 2010 and it's all whip zooms, split screens, and sharp dialogue.
And luckily for you lot, it's not the Marlow Murder club. Although, perhaps, we mention it once or twice.
At time of recording this episode was available on BBC Iplayer in the UK and on Hulu in the USA.
This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, SPOILERS.
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mystery Box by V. D...
Episode sixteen - The Marlow Murder Club (season one, episodes one and two)
Apr 26, 2024Send us a text
Let's be honest, this wasn't our most favouritist crime drama ever. There should be a lot to like: multiple deaths, the Freemasons, regatta blazers, and a plucky dog... but ultimately we thought it was a punting nightmare.
Ps. We still love Samantha Bond, we do. We just wish she had been a bit more...corrigible.
At the time of recording "The Marlow Murder Club" is available to watch in the UK on UKTV Play, and in the US on Masterpiece.
This episode contains discriptions of fictionalised violence, and...
Episode fifteen - Waking the Dead (Pilot)
Apr 12, 2024Send us a text
Detective Superintendent Peter Boyd and the newly formed Cold Case Unit are investigating (and solving, goddamit) cold cases in this here London town. People shout in each other's faces, tell each other not to f**k it up, and breath heavily, showing the weight of the task in hand. It's intense.
This episode is all about Lex's massive crush on Trevor Eve. We try and pretend it's not, but it is.
At the time of recording Waking the Dead is available in the UK on BBC Iplayer, and on Britb...
Episode fourteen - Jonathan Creek (season one, episode three, "The Reconstituted Corpse")
Mar 29, 2024Send us a text
A duffle coat, a windmill, and a whole load of implausible plot... Yep, it's Jonathan Creek!
This week we have a slightly robotic woman who gets clonked on the head, a man who gets shot through a spyhole, a woman wearing pvc in summer, a MASSIVE video camera, and a whole bunch of high jinx with VCRs, VHS, and a wardrobe. Oh, and some of you will get the elephant bit, and some of you won't.
Once again Lily misspoke and this week's correction is:
SARAH Alexander, not Sall...
Episode thirteen - Inspector Morse (season six, episode four, "Absolute Conviction.")
Mar 15, 2024Send us a text
Endeavour has aged into Morse and this time he's investigating a murder in a low security prison. He's supported by an absolutely steller cast of actors, most of whom are sporting their most misjudged hairdos of all time. We do dig into the story and the characters, but mainly this is a review of people's hair in 1992.
At time of recording this episode was available in the UK on ITVX, and on Britbox elswhere in the world.
This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and, of course, plenty of SPO...
Episode twelve - The Good Ship Murder (season one, episode one, "La Rochelle")
Mar 01, 2024Send us a text
Channel Five's answer to the question nobody asked: What would you get if you did a mash up of Eldorado and Acorn Antiques, and made it a whodunnit?
You get Shayne Ward as an ex serious crimes detective working as a singer on a cruise ship, that's what.
If you're looking for a serious appraisal of C5's forat into the genre, maybe don't listen to this episode. This is basically an hour of us corpsing.
This episode is available on My5 in the UK, but currently it lo...
Episode eleven - Scott and Bailey (season one, episode one, "Congratulations")
Feb 16, 2024Send us a text
It's Oldham, it's 2011 and Rachel Bailey (Suranne Jones) is worried that people think she's a "shag bandit rubber knickers". Whether she is or not is not really our concern, but she could spend less time shaking up bottles of coke and obsessing over her scumbag ex, and more time on the scumbag whose wife just died under mysterious circs.
However, this is a fabulous programme, with clever, competent women, and Janet Scott (Lesley Sharpe) is the work mum we all need. Moss and Forst have nothing on these two.
Enj...
Bonus Episode! Death in Paradise (season thirteen, episode one)
Feb 09, 2024Send us a text
It's the 100th episode of Death in Paradise! How could we let this one pass us by?
AND it has Sean Maguire! Dear lord, such excitement.
This episode sees Commissioner Selwyn Patterson, the boss, the police veteran, get shot, and the team having to solve his attempted murder. There's no goat, but there are turn ups, dungarees, handwritten ransom letters, and a pesky cufflink.
We also give the 1998 film "Return to Paradise" an accidental plug, so for all those Joaquim Phoenix and Vince Vaughn fans out there: YOU...
Episode ten - Agatha Christie's Poirot (season 3, episode 1, "The Mysterious Affair at Styles")
Feb 02, 2024Send us a text
Mes amis! It's here! Welcome to the world of Agatha Christie's Poirot, and it's simply delightful (gruesome murders and even more gruesome fake beards aside).
We have a locked room mystery, unbreakable alibis, and a bit of fancy dress. It's golden age detective fiction at it's finest and we loved it.
Lily once again misspoke so this weeks corrections are:
Granddad Dog
and
The Adventure of the Clapham Cook.
If you are left panting for more Poirot action after this, we highly recommend the podc...
Episode nine - Endeavour (pilot)
Jan 19, 2024Send us a text
Welcome to Morse's origin story!
It's Oxford in 1965 and young Endeavour is somberly pursuing villains left, right and centre. However, in a world where child abuse is normalised, Morse upsets people by attempting to fulfill his job description, and one character takes victim blaming to a whole new level, we won't blame him for rarely cracking a smile. He's still getting over "Wendy who liked to be called Susan," for pete's sake. Cut him some slack.
He might not be enjoying himself, but we loved this. Lily did call Re...
Episode eight - Annika (season one, episode one)
Jan 05, 2024Send us a text
The January blues are upon us and the atmospheric gloom of DI Annika Strandhed's Marine Homocide Unit feels apt. We discuss what to do with a whale carcass, Lex's in-laws get another roasting, and Lily loses patience with a fictional teenage girl. In many ways it's not our finest hour, but at least we didn't harpoon anyone.
No whales nor harpoons were harmed in the making of this podcast.
At time of recording this episode was available to watch on BBC Iplayer in the UK and Masterpiece on PBS in...
CHRISTMAS EP! Midsomer Murders, season 7, episode 7 (Ghost of Christmas Past)
Dec 22, 2023Send us a text
Merry Christmas one and all! Welcome to our first Christmas episode! We're on planet Midsomer for this one and, naturally, it's completely bananas. A slightly low body count for our liking, but there are magicians, murders (both actual and attempted), a magnificiently bad cracker joke, and a someone accidently shooting themselves in the face.
Oh, and John Nettles in novelty earrings.
God bless us, every one!
At time of recording Midsomer Murders, "Ghost of Christmas Past" is available on ITVX in the UK, and on Pluto and...
Episode seven - Grantchester (season one, episode one)
Dec 15, 2023Send us a text
Ah, it's the 1950s in Cambridgeshire and we're with the lovely Reverend Sidney Chambers. Swoon! We have some exhausting adultery, confusing whisky swapping, and impressive hair styling, so what's not to love? We also have Robson, without Jerome.
And Amanda, WHO WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT.
Grantchester is available to stream on ITVX in the UK and PBS Passport in the US.
Contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and of course, plenty of SPOILERS.
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mys...
Episode six - Shakespeare and Hathaway (season one, episode one, "O Brave New World.")
Dec 01, 2023Send us a text
'Tis the season! Not for Christmas, calm down, but for coughs and colds and all things poorly making. If you have been affected by one of these season snifflies you could do worse than curling up on the sofa with your lemsip and binge watch Shakespeare and Hathaway. There's marriage, betrayal, a disguise, lutes, and plenty of silly hats! Actually, plenty of costumes in general, so grab your doublet and hose, don your jerkin, and off we go!
At time of recording and publishing Shakespeare and Hathaway is available on BBC...
Episode five - Blue Murder (season one, episode one, "Cry Me a River")
Nov 17, 2023Send us a text
Welcome to 2003! It’s Blue Murder with Caroline Quentin. There’s disembowelling, lots of laundry, some confusing logistics relating to a sanitary bin, and a potential attack using breadcrumbs. Truly, in the world of DCI Janine Lewis, danger really does lurk on every corner.
We really enjoyed this one and we hope you do to. Apologies for the bit where we forget how to use the word “catharsis.” In our defence, we were very, very tired.
At time of recording you are able to watch "Blue Murder" on ITVX in the UK...
Duration: 00:39:48Update and a few Q&As....
Nov 09, 2023Send us a text
A bit of housekeeping and a few Q&As from our lovely listeners. If you have a question or comment for us you can email us at crimedramaqueens@gmail.com or find us on Instagram @crimedramaqueens and Facebook on our Crime Drama Queens page.
We are unwilling to go mushroom picking at this time.
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov
Episode four - McDonald and Dodds (season one, episode one, "The Fall of the House of Crocket")
Nov 02, 2023Send us a text
It's Bath, it's 2018, and, much to Lex's dismay, Robert Lindsay is breaking the fourth wall.
There is a LOT to discuss in this episode, not least:
1. Why is Bath being treated as if it has seceded from the UK?
2. Why are the met police sent it to solve crimes EVERYWHERE?
3. Why would you commit a murder this way?? WHY???
And then there's the hats. So many hats.
At time of recording this episode was available to watch on ITVX in the UK and on...
Episode three - A Touch of Frost (season one, episode one, "Care and Protection.")
Oct 26, 2023Send us a text
Welcome to Denton: a world of child abduction, bank robbery, murder, and the slut shaming of a fourteen year old. It's fun!
It's a depressing dollop of gritty realism and despite hating it, we sort of loved it too. Join us, DI Frost, Linda Love, and more, as we journey together towards the most grotesque barbecue ever shown on prime time tv. Buckle up, it's time for "A Touch of Frost."
(PS. We recorded this in the summer, hence the references to the "scorching" weather. We know it's autumn, y...
Episode two - Midsomer Murders (episode one - The Killings at Badger's Drift)
Oct 20, 2023Send us a text
The one where Lily recorded in the kitchen and it sounds like she's in tin can. Join us as we dive head first into the unnerving world of Midsomer Murders!
As usual with Midsomer there is a high body count, bizarre characters, and some fairly unpleasant twists. Unpleasant characters and bizarre twists? All of the above.
Apologies for the rubbish sound; this really is as bad as it gets, so hang in there.
But enough of that! Grab yourself an iced sombrero and get stuck in!
...
Episode one - Death in Paradise! (season one, episode one)
Oct 12, 2023Send us a text
Welcome to our first episode! This week we are covering Death in Paradise, season one episode one. If you're new to Death in Paradise don't worry, Lex is too. This episode is all about the joys of locked/unlocked room mysteries, people smuggling, and Sean Maguire being locked in a cell with a goat. What more could you want?
(please don't say better audio quality...we're working on it!)
At time of recording this episode was available to watch on BBC IPlayer in the UK, and Britbox in the U...
Crime Drama Queens...coming soon!
Oct 03, 2023Send us a text
Welcome to Crime Drama Queens! Join hosts Lex and Lily as they watch, or rewatch, their favourite crime dramas and murder mysteries. Get those little grey cells ready, the game is afoot!
Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/
Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov