The Ascertainers
By: The Ascertainers
Language: en-us
Categories: Music, Commentary, Comedy, Society, Culture
Music Musings & Other Drivel
Episodes
Episode 142: What is KPOP Anyway?
Jan 09, 2026Send us a text
This episode has something for everyone. Philippines history, boxing, burps and one old guy explaining KPOP to another old guy. Oh, and we're giving away 3 Ascertainers T-shirts!
The PhilippinesThe Ascertainer's Newt's Nachos Challenge (not in any way affiliated with Newt's)Jim time traveledMark could've been a contenderThai Curry--can't even hit a 3 pointerBurp talkRIP Dick EnricoSongs of the Weak:Shine For You--Slightly Stoopid with G Love (really)Sharks--MorphineWild KingdomWord PoliceSnoop DoggKPOPShirt Giveaway!#NewtsAppleValley
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Shine For You (Official Music Vide...
Duration: 00:36:27Episode 141: Happy New Year
Jan 03, 2026Send us a text
This one was recorded before Christmas, so any current events won't be covered--which helps the episode. Also, this is the second episode of the night, so if you detect a slight slurring, there's no need to adjust your settings...
Stevie Ray Vaughn and Christopher Cross Connection Dog days of winterLatitude vs longitude lesson (who says this episode isn't cool)S.A.D. talkHat tip to So I Married an Axe MurdererWho's ready for the Newt's Apple Valley--Ascertainers BowlIron MarkIs that a pickle?Spirit MountainDon't ski high, kidsSongs of the weekCrazy Little Thing Ca... Duration: 00:37:18Episode 140: Glandman
Dec 26, 2025Send us a text
Somehow, we've made 140 of these--very hard to believe. The over/under number from Vegas was 3.5, so we have technically overachieved. With that said, this episode covers a lot of ground and while potentially entertaining, won't make you a better person.
Brown Sugar--just how?Newt's-- you go there and eat good foodMom updatesFrom genius to idiot to back to geniusTough week in the newsRob ReinerJake Paul distractionAwardsThe retirement party gang didn't come throughSusan Anton--for no good reasonTop 40 debateGlandmanGreg and Mark M--future guestsSongs of the WeekFat Old Son--Pink FloydSad Burlesque--The Scarlet GoodbyeSoul AsylumRock 'em So... Duration: 00:35:54Episode 139: It's Not Comma Sutra?
Dec 19, 2025Send us a text
Big news on this one is that Mark's been granted clearance to once again enjoy his favorite beverage--Coors Light (potential sponsor?). Fun little episode with a nice cause to consider linked at the end of this write up.
Shoutout Feegeebandmn for the funky theme musicShoutout Jenson Creative for the spiffy T ShirtsShoutout to Newt's Apple Valley for being the best (and only) sponsor ever!!Mark gets carnivorous (well chicken anyway)It's all about editing these days Bijan RobinsonBlazing SaddlesJust age naturallySongs of the WeekMarseilles -- Angel CitySip the Wine--Rick DankoNYC trip recapEat at... Duration: 00:37:50Episode 138: It's Christmas Time Again
Dec 12, 2025Send us a text
Well, just like that, it's Winter in Minnesota. We are joined on this one by the lovely and talented (and tolerant), Kris--Jim's wife.
Sea MonkeysMissionarySongs of the Week:The Spirit of Christmas--Ray CharlesO Holy Night--Carrie UnderwoodPetri DishMile High ClubPassing the Curling torchChristmas MemoriesBaby it's Cold OutsideDean MartinBill MaherConanSocks and StockingsKris's Adult Christmas CardHot WheelsNewt's--Burgers, Fries and a Milkshake too!#Newt'sAppleValley
#Thankful
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Official: How to Create, The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys
Best Curling Clip EVER Watching TV with Jason Bateman be like... 📢 #SmartLess
...
Duration: 00:42:57Episode 137--Thanksgiving Recap
Dec 05, 2025Send us a text
Recorded a matinee following Thanksgiving. Mark is still on the wagon, and Jim is just getting started, so this one is a bit more coherent than most.
Ever pooped on a plane?Thanksgiving recapShoutout to our Selena!Football halftime showsPost Malone, Jack White and EminemSides/leftoversDutch oven variationsThat Gomer Pyle sure can singLawrence WelkSongs of the Week:Lawyers, Guns and Money--Warren ZevonLike a Rolling Stone--as performed by SpiritRIP Jimmy CliffMark on IceJim can't clapNewt's--The Best is Yet to Come!TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt'sAppleValleyMN
#JFrankWilson&TheCavaliers
J Fr...
Duration: 00:38:48Episode 136: One Hit Wonders
Nov 28, 2025Send us a text
Today we look at one hit wonders, who prove that to be a known band takes more than one song. No kidding. Buried on the One Hit Wonder discussion: Salute to Service--Thanks Mark, and who was more useless between Oates, Richard Carpenter and The Captain?
More links will be added shortly.
Candy Corn factsHalloween disappointmentsA fist of GatoradeCurrent events and historyZedSongs of the WeekThe Escape Club--Wild Wild WestStealers Wheel--Stuck in the Middle with YouOur One Hit Wonder (following a shout out to OG listener, Pat)King Harvest--Dancin' in the MoonlightStarland Voca... Duration: 00:39:01Episode 135: Markus Interruptus
Nov 21, 2025Send us a text
We are just getting back to this following our hiatus, and either Jim was way too amped up or Mark sabotaged Jim in editing to make it sound like he was interrupting--a lot. You be the judge.
I scream you screamShoutout Alex and Paul for our theme musicGleemerThank you for your service, MarkBack to ice cream noveltiesFarewell Pat and SueThe lost art of imaginationMystery TheaterRetsynWatermelonRobert Redford RevisitedJane Goodall--overratedWas Madonna hot?Charlie DanielsYou'll look back and laughWho played it better?Member's Only and Earth ShoesNewt's--we saved the best for last#NewtsAppleValley
Episode 134: Not Dead Yet
Nov 14, 2025Send us a text
Hey everybody--did you miss us? We had to take a couple of weeks off because Joe Rogan's representation suggested that our ratings were becoming problematic. We rode it out and are glad you came back!
The streak is brokenMark has something to sayShoutout the wonderful Dianne!Gateway meatHow to get a Dr Sponge bath confessionsPuddySong of the WeekThe Question--Moody BluesBlack Diamond--The Replacements (cover)RIP Ace FrehleyDry for rest of the year for one of usJust stop it, RushLandman and Tulsa KingCruisesDead PoolRight in the Giza!Space dicks#NewtsAppleValley
T...
Duration: 00:36:13Episode 133: Back to It
Oct 10, 2025Send us a text
Back from 3 weeks off and it only kind of shows. Jim is sorry for the excessive use of the F word. Stick and stones, people...
Bucket trapNewt's--Exciting new menu item: Milkshakes!Shoutout Lance from ThinkDrinkDisneySong of the Week:VanHalen--Ain't Talkin' 'Bout LoveGovernment Mule and Friends--Soul ShineRIP Local Newsman Stan TurnerDeviled HamCoach pantsChief ExportHands and Feet and other popular phrasesMark's multi-screen experience#Newt's
#ThinkDrinkDisney
Shane Gillis: mattress bit - YouTube
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love (2015 Remaster)
Gregg Allman, Trey Anastasio, Derek Trucks and Gov't Mule - "Sou...
Duration: 00:36:49Episode 132: Blast From the Past
Oct 03, 2025Send us a text
Due to scheduling conflicts (we're both very popular), we had to reach into the pantry and pull an episode off the shelf. This one can be described as old and sorta loose. Grow up. We spend as much time trying to conceal the date of the recording as anything else.
Mark singsNewt's gets their beer's worth on this oneClassic Civil Defense WarningRadio Game--have you missed it?2nd AlbumsBetter Cars singer?Mark's visit to churchBest last name everAscertainers DoppelgangersUndergarment or pastryThe glider incidentCockpit#Newt's
#Bacon
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D...
Duration: 00:34:53Episode 131: Extra Innings With our Mystery Guest
Sep 26, 2025Send us a text
They say size doesn't matter (well Mark does, anyway), but this one flowed so well, that we ran long. No extra charge. This is the second episode of the recording session with our Mystery Guest. Wide ranging topics and some deep insights that our regular listeners (both of you) might not be used to.
Slacks/Trousers/PantsMalcolm in the MiddleHow guys communicateNicknamesPowered by Newt'sWhat Mark sawTeachers used to mean businessOur first phone guestSchool lunch or brown bagWe get serious for a bitHumble beginningsGood luck, young peopleFaces of DeathFootball starGolf smackSongs of the wee... Duration: 01:04:47Episode 130: Mystery Guest
Sep 19, 2025Send us a text
Nobody is completely clear as to why today's guest is anonymous. Maybe he's famous or something. Jim's famous wife joins as well.
Dick & JaneThe big anatomy book (the book is big, the anatomy is regular size)Bruce JennerousYour Digital OasisThe Body HumanGolf recap"Have you ever filmed yourself swinging?"Are the Packers for real?QB confidenceGumbaccoFreshen up gumMr Unlimited vs Dandy DonDIY BloodsportSchool-age McGuyverCome on, Buford!Songs of the Week:Brothers Loyalty--Boiling BloodSupertramp--On DarlingAudioslave--CochiseOur own conspiracy theoryCybertruckTemple of the Dog#Newt's
#Gum
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Brothers Lo...
Duration: 00:44:19Episode 129: With Apologies to Singapore
Sep 12, 2025Send us a text
I'd describe this one as bouncy and light. A couple of decent laughs to be had. Thanks for listening!
The Optimistic Alligator TamerVacation Boxing in BangkokPoint of PrideMickey's Diner > or < >#NewtsAppleValleyMN#GoodDaySir
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Pink Floyd - Learning To Fly (Official Music Video HD)
Green Grass & High Tides
Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (Camp Granada Song) with Lyrics Sing-Along, Allan Sherman, 1963, updated - YouTube
Hall Pass - hot or not :))
Duration: 00:36:57Episode 128: The Best and the Worst
Sep 05, 2025Send us a text
Took a couple of weeks off and the break might have paid off. You decide...
Eric from JL BeersCracker BarrelShoutout guests Jack and JakeNewt's--How to eat for $2.13MN State FairThe miracle of birthSongs of the WeekWillie Wisely--ParadorBlind Melon--DriveWhat Jim thinks the road must be likeThe rest of the Police hate StingKeith Moon--overrated?Benny HillPhyllis DillerSteve Steven's footwearThe Prince Solo#NewtsAppleValleyMN
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Willie Wisely & the Belle Bottoms - "Parador" Live @ Pan-O-Prog 07/12/25
Blind Melon - Drive
Three Is a Magic Number
P...
Duration: 00:38:57Episode 127: Jack and Jake Part 2
Aug 29, 2025Send us a text
We bring the adult neighbor kids back for a second round. We tackle some of life's most pressing questions.
The power of enunciationGuest Newt's spotBoo hoo Billy JoelWe're Pontiac famousAn inch can be a lotThe Most Famous Person You've Ever MetBill Murray winsSongs of the WeekBilly Idol--Eyes Without a FaceRiley Green--Jesus SavesBilly Idol--Mony MonyWe skipped Mark--oopsWho Would You Like to Meet?How Would You Prove That You Were From the Future?What's the Biggest Animal You Could Take in a Fight?#NewtsAppleValley
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Lo...
Duration: 00:43:59Episode 126: Jack and Jake--OG Neighbor Kids
Aug 22, 2025Send us a text
We are joined by Jack and Jake. I list Jack first because it was supposed to be just Jack, but Jake pulled a big brother move. Entertaining episode!
The GodfatherThe GuitarGolf (This episode brought to you by the letter G)OG Neighbor kids meet the new cropAt this point in the episode Mark has said about seven wordsThird Kid tribulationsDicklomat (copyright pending)Mr BasketballSongs of the Week:The Chain--Fleetwood MacCream--Prince & the New Power GenerationTired of Running--Dylan GossettEverything About You--Ugly Kid JoeNewt's promo--better late than never#NewtsAppleValleyMN
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... Duration: 00:39:19Episode 125: Who is/was Terry Reid?
Aug 15, 2025Send us a text
I think this one could crack our top 87 episodes of all time. It's that good. For real, it's worth a listen!
Joe Namath and hosiery Who else misses Johnny Carson?RIP Loni AndersonPlastic SurgeryMark's thingErrors and OmissionsWho wants ham?Grateful Dead foolerySong of the WeekRIP Terry Reid#Newt'sAppleValley
TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Chef reacts to TikTok monstrosity - @chefreactions - YouTube
Tenement - Garden Of Secrecy (Official Audio)
Terry Reid May Fly
The Replacements - Johnny's Gonna Die (Official Music Video)
Duration: 00:37:06Episode 124: Phrase Origins
Aug 08, 2025Send us a text
We've hit the big time as we now advertise in the Tomahawk Club Newsletter (Mark's private Pontiac owners club). I think it's an exclusive. Wonder what Joe Rogan thinks of THAT!
Par 3 golfNewt's awesome new burgerErrors & OmissionsOzzy's cool outfitSong of the weekJim: Wings--Band on the RunMark: Fleetwood Mac--Got to MoveIs R Kelly becoming our new Meatloaf?Taj MahalCommon Phrase OriginsMovie Reviews:Happy Gilmore 2FriendshipOld Playboy'sTheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt'sAppleValleyMN
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band On The Run (Official Music Video) - YouTube
Fleetwood Mac - Got T...
Duration: 00:39:03Episode 123: Ozzy
Aug 01, 2025Send us a text
Reunited after two weeks off from recording, and it feels so good. Sure, we took a little time away and the world loses the Prince of Darkness, but you know what they say--you gotta break a few eggs.
Rough week for Iconic personalitiesRIP Ozzy--Thanks for the great tunesSongs of the week--OzzyFlying High AgainSee You on the Other SideShout out Lil' Sis, JillWe're not mad at Pat....Sorry SueThe swearing needs to stopSongs of the Week Black SabbathWar PigsSweet LeafMossball Torsion memoriesSophomore Slump for bandsShoutout Remo DriveWillie Wisely--an EntertainerRIP Hulk HoganRIP Chuck MangioneErrors & O... Duration: 00:39:38Episode 122: Comedy Movies Part 2
Jul 25, 2025Send us a text
Pulled this episode off the shelf due to summer schedules. Originally recorded after Part 1 on March 14. Swear Alert--Jim drops more F-bombs than usual (he's working on it). It's probably a function of him overserving himself... Audio is a little janky at first but gets better.
What day do you listen?Newt's shoutout OG KaylaPlaydoughFrom the Grave--The Radio Game!REMComedy Movies--Part 2Marx Brothers--Mark's thoughts on the harp#NewtsAppleValley
#Fubar
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This is 40 - Who's Tom Petty (2012)
Terry and Deaner Reasons to Smoke
Wo...
Duration: 00:40:27Episode 121: Chantz and Paris Part 2
Jul 18, 2025Send us a text
Jim was on vacation this week, so abbreviated write up. Round 2 with Chantz and Paris is a good time. From Mark's out of town drink preferences to drinking too much prune juice in Switzerland--its got something for everyone!
Enjoy!
#NewtsAppleValley
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Episode 120: Chantz and Paris Part 1
Jul 11, 2025Send us a text
Mark's oldest son Chantz and lifelong friend/neighbor Paris join us for a free-flowing conversation that covers a lot of ground. Something for everyone.
Escape planGuest introMark's early drivewayThe smelter storyNewt's initiationYoung man, old soulEarly musician storiesGuest songs of the dayYeah by UsherLet it Happen by Tame ImpalaKing GizzardErrors and OmissionsPeter GravesWith a name like "Jerk Dry Rub" it HAS to be gooodMaariah Carey/ Eminem feudLanguage evolutionR Kelly / Chick Berry--how to get chicksAscertainers Song of the DayWild by SpoonHere Comes That Rainbow Again--by Kris Kristofferson Wesley SnipesChristian BaleSacha Baron CohenFreddie Mercury's Kid???...
Duration: 00:42:47Episode 119: Deadwood
Jul 04, 2025Send us a text
Trying out a shorter episode to see if anyone can tell. We cover a lot of ground with a few laughs.
Bring back the Radio Game?PseudonymsNewt's--Mark's CheersErrors & OmissionsQuarterbacksJim's Song of the WeekPan O Prog Plaza Stage previewCome meet Mark and JimMark's Song of the WeekMark's Motorcycle tripWall DrugRIP Bobby Sherman and Nick RouseWall DrugTheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#PanOProg
Episode 118: Leave Your Troubles by the Door
Jun 27, 2025Send us a text
This was a tough one to give a title to, as we covered a lot of ground and nothing too specifically. Some decent laughs though!
Gong Show / Match Game babesTom Jones--Lady KillerBourbon JimThe Beyond Burger Smash experiment updateNewt's--You can also get a saladSongs of the week Mark--Tryin' by EaglesJim--Gator Country by Molly HatchetDwight Yoakam / Tom Petty ConfidenceLyle Lovett tooDolly Parton Rock band or not?Give your worries a rest now and then#Newt's
#Burgery
#Eponymous
#DontBoreUsGetToTheChorus
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Tom Jones - Treat Her Rig...
Duration: 00:42:31Episode 117: Brian Wilson / Beach Boys
Jun 20, 2025Send us a text
Welcome back. Pretty laid-back episode for you this time.
The goutThanks Reader's DigestCarlos MenciaBeeGeesErrors & OmissionsCharlie's 100 yard dash fantasyEwwww Rick SpringfieldSpoiler Alert: To Live and Die in LARIP Jim MarshallRIP Brian WilsonBeach BoysPeeWee, Phil and NormNewt's--be part of history!#NewtsAppleAvalley
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The Making of "Jessie's Girl"
I honestly wanted to put a Ralphie May clip here, but all of them were just a bit too offensive for a good-natured podcast like ours... Go ahead and google him at your own risk.
Episode 116: Pee Wee Herman and The Fake Meat Experiment
Jun 13, 2025Send us a text
Buckle up. This one goes off road. A few laughs to be had. Enjoy.
Enhanced introMyriad--take 9Shaking or nodding?Help from ChatGPTOur fake songYou can't see AI liveMark loves kidsShoutout Mancini'sNewt's--Your Experimental Burger LeaderErrors & OmissionsPee Wee As Himself DocThe Groundlings#NewtsAppleValley
#Smash
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Pee-wee as Himself | Official Trailer | HBO
Our fake song https://www.riffusion.com/song/d49aea93-d882-4b7d-81c2-64737b2f09a6
Episode 115: We Get Our Groove Back!
Jun 06, 2025Send us a text
Your boys got things sorted out and are back to our old selves.
Shout out Nilsson and DonovanThings came to a headLiltSpelling BeeAn attempt at a professional introJim's doppelganger from Modern FamilyTheme music appreciationQuagmireSteve Miller, The Baby's and Billy IdolRIP Rick DerringerWierd AlYep--MeatloafTom Petty--Runnin' Down a Dream DocUsed Grilled CheeseSongs that boosted bandsBody HairShout out Think Drink Disney podcastThank you#Newts
#TheBestShipOfAllIsFriendship
#ThinkDrinkDisney
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Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_XiMab-FPo
Walk This Way https://you...
Duration: 00:44:17Episode 114: The Race One
May 30, 2025Send us a text
Of course, we mean RUNNING races, which is what we end spending an unusal amount of time discussing. We do talk about drummers too.
Beyond middle ageBreak in routineAttitude AdjustmentGolfNewt's--What's your favorite burger???Memorial Day ToastThanks for your service, MarkSteve Tyler vs Kenny the Jet revistedChatGPT decides the winnerPompatusHigh Diving With the StarsParental AdvisoryFooled Around & Fell in LoveWe might have a Meatloaf problemThe Drummer partFoo FightersD.A.R.E.HBD Mark#Newt's
#JensonCreative
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Like our theme music? Here's some full-band Feegee: Othernthat and Neck...
Duration: 00:39:48Episode 113: Four Piece Classic Rock Bands
May 23, 2025Send us a text
We were recently reminded that we are a technically a music podcast, so we set out to talk about our favorite 4 piece rock bands from the 60's, 70's and 80's. In the words of Burt Reynolds (as played by the late, great Norm McDonald): Bon Apetit.
How are we talking about Meatloaf again??Powered by Newt's, Apple ValleyErrors & OmissionsSteve LukatherKenny Smith vs Steven Tyler: Who wins in a race?Wolves Fever--Catch It!RIP Joe Don BakerA boy named TitanWhich one is Kool?Retro chicken reviewFour Piece Classic Rock BandsPink Floyd, The Doors, Le... Duration: 00:44:09Episode 112: You Doesn't Have to Call Him Johnson
May 16, 2025Send us a text
Mad Men era slogansSelloutsShoutout sister KarenMark's epic guy moveChoose your regretWhy Jim was bad in schoolOsmosisNew Burger at Newt's is worth your attentionTouche' CoryYour Zebra (the band) leaderAmyl & the Sniffers concert reviewAnother Alice Cooper storyCheck out Sheer Mag (see below)Shoutout Troy GThe HR Dept at the Vatican#Newt's
#BassSlut
Yell at us: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Chevrolet Trucks "Like A Rock" Commercial
1988 Michelob "After Midnight" & "Nighttime Is the Right Time" TV ads - YouTube
Snatch (2000) Official Trailer 1 - Brad Pitt Movie
Jim G...
Duration: 00:43:22Episode 111: A Wife Has Entered the Chat
May 09, 2025Send us a text
Tonight, we're joined by Jim's wife, Kris. She brings her cheery personality and fact-checking skills.
Spring has sprungNew friend at Newt'sAttitude AdjustmentIt's still just myriadDr Hirt and Dr PayneHernia checkErrors & OmissionsBelichick's chickThe BlobChubby CheckerOscar RulesFlufferTV TalkPeter WolfPaul Revere and the RaidersBar conversation etiquette#Newt's
Tell is what you think: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Excellent David Spade bit: Hernia - YouTube
Paul Revere and the Raiders: Powder Blue Mercedes Queen
Episode 110: I Write the Songs
May 03, 2025Send us a text
Going into this one we each had a bad feeling....
Don't take romance advice from a duckJ Geils Band ShoutoutSoul Asylum Mark can't stand itErrors & OmissionsHull peopleB-52'sHe writes the songsElton and BerniePat K's Plaid Shirt (as seen at Newt's)Newt's--try the Peanut Butter Bacon Smash BurgerNutty BuddyContact: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt'sAppleValleyMN
#TheScarletGoodbye
#WillieWisely
J. Geils Band - Must Of Got Lost - 11/5/1977 - Winterland
Soul Asylum - Just Like Anyone (Official Video) - YouTube
The Scarlet Goodbye "The Ballad Of...
Duration: 00:43:04Episode 109: Columbia Record Club
Apr 25, 2025Send us a text
Jim's brother Jeff joins us for his 4th guest spot. Kind of an odds n ends episode with some decent laughs.
Powered by Newt's Apple ValleyThe Man's MallRobbie Robertson--good guy or dick?Billy PowellColumbia Record ClubSlap ShotWide World of SportsF-1 racingJim's fear of work finding outKirk CousinsStone FruitRadio Game update--still not fully bakedJim's Jesus Journal Mark's Music Minute--Humble PieThe hot one from ABBATheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#HeadEast
Best of Ron Swanson - Parks and Recreation | Comedy Bites - YouTube
Muscle Shoals - Official Tr...
Duration: 00:50:02Episode 108: Mark's Music Minute
Apr 18, 2025Send us a text
The post-colonoscopy episode. Let's see if Jim sounds like he's not as full of sh1t.
Procedure notesMet a legend at Newt's (shoutout Greg and Bonnie)Newt's--Legendary BurgersHow not to invite a potential guestMost strangers are probably cooler than you Mark pulls "The Dentist"Bacon denierErrors & OmissionsMore Kris Kristofferson factsWe pause on the Radio Game--stay tunedMark's Music Minute--Pink FloydSong creditsThank you / Sorry#Newt's
#Echoes
Feedback: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Pink Floyd (Echoes, Live at Pompei)
Episode 107: Mixed Bag
Apr 11, 2025Send us a text
Another one where we record two in one night--this one is number two (in more ways than one?).
March Madness (a little late)NamesStreet games / Improvised basesChildhood injuriesNewt's--where it all beganRIP Fountain Valley--we need a new golf courseThe Last Radio Game?Machete guyWas Hi-Fi Kenny the original MyPi11ow guy?Kris KristofersonMac DavisYet another reference to It all Begins With a Song#Newt's
#HowDidThatGetInThere
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AUSTIN POWERS Clip - "Pump" (1997) Mike Myers
Did the MyPi11ow guy rip off Hi-Fi-Kenny? WIFC FM...
Duration: 00:42:15Episode 106: The Last Radio Game
Apr 04, 2025Send us a text
With local radios station 92KQRS changing formats, we are preparing for the demise of the Radio Game. Probably a victory for our listeners, but Mark and Jim are taking it kind of hard (pun not intended).
Medical Minute: Colonoscopy PrepMr ScienceRIP Leonard NimoyKQRS format changeJim's buddy won a car on the old KQDon't let the door hit you Howard SternThe positive side of change (it's possible)VoltairePat K's amazing email!The Final Radio GameNewt's--The Wonton Burger. So good!!!Shoutout to our DadsMark's jogging updateBert and ErnieAnn MargaretRomper Room and tennis racketsZingers#New...
Duration: 00:40:16Episode 105: Romper Room and the Medical Minute
Mar 28, 2025Send us a text
Typical mindless banter followed by a rare, important message to men. We almost got to Dire Straits.
Student of comedySpring has sprungA message to potential guestsRomper RoomNewt's--Smashing BurgersFish Tacos--Costanza-styleInternational SensationsErrors & OmissionsReal Genius reviewIt All Begins With a Song (Documentary)Medical Minute--Jim's PSA on the PSA testDire Straits#Newt's
#MoonRiver
Bon Jovi on rhythm guitar! Scandal-"Love's Got a Line On You" Version 2
Who's Behind the Door? by Zebra HD
Mark gets a shoutout. Lucky. 1984 Romper Room Magic Mirror Clip
How Mark eats fish...
Duration: 00:39:49Episode 104: Comedy Movies
Mar 21, 2025Send us a text
We had an impromptu 5 person recording featuring Mark, Jim, Jim's wife Kris, son Alex and Daughter-in-Law Sara. Ambitious topic of Comedy Movies meant we had to get to the topic in record time. Fun episode--hope you enjoy.
It all starts at Newt'sErrors $ Omissions (including an error in real time)Radio GameASMR definedComedy MoviesMonty Python & the Holy Grail, Best in Show, Rat Race, The Princess Bride,
Dumb & Dumber, Goldmember, Borat, Planes Trains & Automobiles, Zoolander, Young Frankenstein, Animal House, Stripes, Real Genius,
Napolean Dynamite, Airplane, Old School, The Goonies, Hot Rod, The In-
... Duration: 00:52:20
Episode 103: Becoming Led Zeppelin Movie
Mar 14, 2025Send us a text
Your boys took a field trip to go see Becoming Led Zeppelin at the theater and boy are our arms tired...
Jellybean strategies--a complete guideErrors & Omissions--Rock & Roll Hall of Fame editionShout out previous guest, CharlieNewt's promo--NEW BURGERPete Townsend Rough MixRadio GameBecoming Led Zeppelin--two thumbs upControversial takeContact us at: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#NewtsAppleValleyMinnesotaYouShouldTotallyGoThereForaBurgerOrMaybeJustaBeerWhateverManItsYourLifeDoAsYouPlease
Nowhere to run - Pete Townsend and Ronnie Lane
Down By The Seaside - Led Zeppelin
Duration: 00:39:14Episode 102: 2025 Rock n Roll Hall of Fame Nominees
Mar 07, 2025Send us a text
Today we are joined by OG listener and former guest, Charlie from the neighborhood. You can tell he's more comfortable this time around and it was a fun one to record.
Mark "lost" his notesParking paddleTyrone "Ty" Chee and other martial artsIt's Take Your Kid to AC/DC DayHibbing MN factsMN State High School Hockey TournamentCharlie commands the Newt's promoWeed in MNRadio GameRIP Gene HackmanNew math and old mapsRock n Roll Hall of Fame nomineesGive us an earful at: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#CurdBurger
#Hibbing
...
Duration: 00:49:30Episode 101: Instrumental Songs
Feb 28, 2025Send us a text
This is one of those where it is the second episode recorded on the same night. Traditionally these are a little loose. This one is no exception.
#1 podcast on Jim's blockThe BeltIce fish trip weekend recapMark's medical team--Dave and LucasJohn Mayer--cool guy or dick?Music Theory 101: AC/DCMark's buddy, Eric"A combination of Conway Twitty and Ron Jeremy"Tai ChiRadio GameInstrumental Songs: Jessica, Frankenstein, Always With Me Always With You, Black Mountainside, The Great Gig in the Sky, Eruption, Spanish Fly, Sweet Jane Intro? Sirius, YYZLet us know what you thin...
Duration: 00:43:44Episode 100: How to Start a Podcast
Feb 21, 2025Send us a text
"We've been letting people down for 99 episodes!"
--Jim
"It's all ball bearings these days"
--The guy from Ajax (a/k/a Gordon Liddy, a/k/a Irwin M. "Fletch" Fletcher)
#Newt's
#ThinkDrinkDisney
Comments or whatever: TheAsce...
Duration: 00:44:54Episode 99: Comedy Breakdown
Feb 14, 2025Send us a text
This one is another where we recorded two episodes in one night. Since this is the second of the night, the language gets a little rough (earmuffs for sure). Sorry, Mom. Also, thanks for listening!
Post-middle ageAI proofPowered by Newt's home of the best burger in Apple Valley, MNStand-up comedy traumaDo comedian's think they're funny?SNL current cast reviewFridaysRadio GamePro Bowl blowsSoccer / Rugby / Formula 1Super Bowl predictions#Newts
#SwearJar
Feedback: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Mark at a stand-up show at the 2:55 mark: Nick The Lounge Singer Sings Star...
Duration: 00:41:31Episode 98: Running with Scissors
Feb 07, 2025Send us a text
Today's effort begins with a heavily edited story about Jim's rodent exploits. It goes downhill from there.
Powered by Newt'sKayla and BobShoutout Jenson Creative for our kick ass shirtsPerfume ads and other lady stuffErrors and OmissionsRadio Game"He really grew into his looks"The world's worst guess on who sang I Can See Clearly NowMerle HaggardBad at mathWhat's on your mind? TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#SorryForTheSwears
Ask for Donny and tell him we sent you: JENSON CREATIVE
The First Edition : Just Dropped In (To...
Duration: 00:41:42Episode 97: Bee Gee's
Jan 31, 2025Send us a text
Big week for The Ascertainers. Your boys hit the town to attend a Bee Gee's tribute show and looked fabulous! We also got our t-shirts in, so we feel more official.
Not much of an update this week, other than (for a change) we both thought this was a pretty good episode--some laughs, some good-natured ribbing (phrasing), and of course, we break down our favorite Bee Gee's songs. They have a more impressive catalog than you might think.
With the time I saved on this write up, it will all...
Duration: 00:44:16Episode 96: Potpourri
Jan 24, 2025Send us a text
Feeling a tad overconfident from our last couple of episodes, we leave home without a map, compass, or a clue as to where we're going. And you get to listen to it. ENJOY!
What's another word for Thesaurus?Mouse alertNewt's--Lovely Burgers!Earth Wind and Fire--Seriously??Errors & Omissions3.2 beer explainedDebbie DownerPolitical theoryR.I.P Bob UeckerRadio GameClassical influences in rockGordon's and Curt'sAscertainer's shirt updateIn case of emergency: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#GordieHoweHattrick
Bob Uecker Shares a Funny Story About Football
Letterman Norm MacDonald s Bob...
Episode 95: Beer Stories
Jan 17, 2025Send us a text
Recorded on New Year's Eve. A masterclass in distraction.
Newt's--Come for the Toast PointsThe Evil Knievel of Fish TacosPitcher NightErrors and OmissionsRadio GameBeer StoriesReach us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
Episode 94: Feegee Live in Studio
Jan 10, 2025Send us a text
So, we were planning on saving this one for Episode 100, but let's face it--there's a pretty good chance we don't make it that far....
We welcome half of big-time rock band feegee--the ones who do our theme song--Alex and Paul. They did a great job, but somehow, Jim found the need to talk way too much.
Contact us: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#WelcomeToTheTwinCities
#feegee
#TVForDogs
#Ca$ual<...
Episode 93: Yacht Rock Doc
Jan 03, 2025Send us a text
We kick off 2025's first episode with an array of sighs. Seems about right.
Daylight Savings Time: The days aren't the only thing getting longer--amiright?Pull tab bluesNewt's--It's the place to be!Pat K shoutoutSpaceX vs NASATime ZonesRadio GameYacht Rock Documentary on MAXChristopher CrossMichael McDonald / Jimmy Fallon experimentTotoSession ManThat's not Yacht Rock?Yacht Rock Web Series see link below.#Newt's
#HappyNewYear
Let us know what you think: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Session Man Session Man - Showtime - 1991
Check this out! Yacht Rock Episode 1 From the...
Episode 92: Christmas Movies
Dec 27, 2024Send us a text
This one comes in a little hot at the start. Possibly the grind of 92 weeks or so of Friday night recording sessions is taking its toll? Nah, we got back on track quickly enough. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah and has a Happy New Year! Thanks for listening!
Typhoid MikeDave Foley Cameo (check out link below)Errors and OmissionsNewt's--Smash Burger Fans Unite!Mercury riffRIP Jim FixxRadio GameChristmas Movies: Christmas Vacation, Elf, Scrooged, Home Alone, A Christmas Carol, Jingle all the Way, Bad Santa, The Christmas Chronicles, Any Ha... Duration: 00:45:06Episode 91: After School Stuff
Dec 20, 2024Send us a text
This one was recorded in a matinee session the day after Thanksgiving. Hangovers were in play for two of the three involved. Jim's brother, Jeff is our guest.
Canned cranberryScurvyAlmost a sports podcastShoutout Bill SNewt's has a new Burger called the Power Trip Morning Show Burger--go eat it!Radio GameAfter school stuff as kidsGilligan's IslandSnacksCartoonsMN Vikings Love Boat IncidentTaco talkHigh School hi-jinxStation wagonsTell us what you think-really: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#Velma
Episode 90: Bands that Lost Members
Dec 13, 2024Send us a text
We follow up the delightfully wholesome matinee episode with Jim's Mom with this s**t show of debauchery. Right on brand and maybe a little over the line (which, by the way, is the brand) there are laughs to be enjoyed on this one. Bon apetit.
Fueled by red beerOld home week at Newt'sSweet Hot Chicken SammyErrors and Omissions--tooth talkBands that shuffled the line upDeep Purple, Pink Floyd, Journey, Whitesnake, The Who, Rush, The Beatles, Gin Blossoms, The Refreshments, The Doors., Lynyrd Skynyrd, Judas Priest, INXS#Newt's
#Re...
Episode 89: A Visit From Jim's Mom
Dec 07, 2024Send us a text
It's the beginning of the Holiday Season so we asked Jim's Mom, Ellie, if she'd like to join us and class up the joint a bit. We'd like to have Mark's Mom on, but her agent is playing hardball.
Shout out Apple Valley License BureauAge gapsNewt's--Jim goes rogueMore George Washington tooth talkThe Hands StoryThanksgiving favoritesRadio GameThe ChinDrivingLife During WartimeFirst carsHeartbreakerMake a Difference!#Newt's
#HappyHolidays
Comments/suggestions/admonishments: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Episode 88: 1979 Albums
Nov 29, 2024Send us a text
We got our years a little bit out of order, but this week is 1979 albums. The fall off between 1979 and 80 is kind of the beginning of the end, so we need a new premise. Some decent laughs on this one. Enjoy--and thanks for listening
You had ONE jobMccarthur ParkNewt's Seriously Great BurgersBoat pissBootleg wineSinger transitionsPink Floyd history lesson1979 Albums--AC DC, THe B-52's, The Cars, Supertramp, Led Zep, Pink FloydGet in touch with us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#LakeSuperior
Richard Harris - MacArthur Park (Off...
Episode 87: 1980 Music--"Nothing Can Save It"
Nov 22, 2024Send us a text
Here we go on a first of two recordings in one session. We haven't done a double in a while, and next week you'll find out why. Original plan was to talk 1979, but time got away, and we improvised.
Bootleg/Pirate RadioPurple People EatersMark goes blueLet us salvage your weekUSA!Ta Daah!Newt's: Contract discussionsRennaissance FairBack to Newt's--Pulltab winners!Radio GameWho doesn't like Loverboy?Apologies to our last guest, Jeff SIt's a Beautiful Day in the NeighborhoodGuess Who fun fact1980's Albums--Not the worst, but a big drop offTell us wha...
Duration: 00:44:27Episode 86: Wisconsin in the House
Nov 15, 2024Send us a text
We were overdue for a guest, so we invited neighbor Jeff from WI to come on and impart his wisdom on us. We were going to talk about state stereotypes, but we wound up just shooting the breeze and learning a thing or two about MN's neighbor to the east. We'll do music next time.
Special guest neighbor JeffNobody preparedNewt's--featuring Cory the ComedianAll the best, MJMark's civic dutyJim's chili winRadio GameRIP Quincy JonesWI/MN streerotypesJeff ate a smokeVikings/PackersNow you have a friend in the robotics businessNo bonersRIP Leinenkugels beerDairy farm factsHome, Hea... Duration: 00:47:39Episode 85: 1978 Albums--Mount Rushmore
Nov 08, 2024Send us a text
Following up on the smashing success of our inaugural Mount Rushmore series, we explore 1978, which happens to be a very strong year for rock music.
Jim forgets his dollar--againMount Rushmore explained--againAnother thanks to feegee for our original theme musicPat K's email Eddie Money missNewt's--Apple Valley Minnesota's premiere juicy burger, ice cold beer, fresh-popped popcorn and always hot pulltab box Emporium. Check 'em out--but leave two spots at the bar for The Ascertainers if you please.Daylight savingsRadio GameHighland, NY listener--who are you??1978--what a year for rock albums!!! VH... Duration: 00:47:12Episode 84: Mount Rushmore of 1977 Rock Albums
Nov 01, 2024Send us a text
Instead of just talking about cool albums from a great year, 1977, Jim decides that we come up with a definitive top 4 each. Mark did not understand the assignment, which is as entertaining as it is disappointing.
Mark's red beer in his giant mugVikings choke againIceland's famous Penis MuseumNewt's was HOPPING!Shoutout neighbor AmyMark feels bad about hammering Kansas and the headphone guy from the barBreadbasket shot on national TVRadio Game--ho hum, another winner!!1977 Mount Rushmore of cool albums--Skynryd, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Foreigner. Rush, Jackson Browne, Steve Miller, ClaptonBalls on his vestRamones f... Duration: 00:43:42Episode 83: 1976 Rock Albums
Oct 25, 2024Send us a text
Look, they're not all first round picks. OK?
--Allen Gamble to Terry Hoitz, The Other Guys
TheAscertainers@gmail.com
First Round Picks: The Other Guys: He can't believe his work partner is married to someone that beautiful (youtube.com)
Because Jim does these write ups: Rush - 2112...
Episode 82: 1975 Albums
Oct 18, 2024Send us a text
It's Episode 82 already. You'd think the product would be far better by now. There are actually a few good laughs on this one, so please enjoy and thank you for listening!
Venus FlytrapMark's musical frustrationsJim's airport reunionMN Vikings remain undefeated at 5-0Go Lynx?Jim's wreath kidThe Schenker brothersNewts--Apple Vally MN's Premier Burger, Beer, Popcorn and Pulltab EmporiumRadio GameBoogie Shoes1975 Classic Rock AlbumsBorn to Run, Physical Graffiti, Toys in the Attic and moreSend us your favorite rock ballad: The Ascertainers@gmail.com
Duration: 00:48:18Episode 81: Classic Rock Albums 1970 to 1974
Oct 11, 2024Send us a text
Back at it after a week off. Give it a listen to see if it made any difference.
Visit to the Corporate OfficeNewt's Come for the Burgers, stay for Sara's new hair style!"Up North"Shoutout Jim's old friends Bruce S and Rob KHow will the Vikings blow it this year?RIP Pete Rose--they made an example out of youUpdating "the list"Heaven's GateRIP Kris KristoffersonRadio Game1970 through 1974 Classic Rock AlbumsLed Zeppelin III and IV, Black Sabbath Paranoid, Who's Next, Doors, Dark Side and moreFrank Zappa--the original Jesse Ventura#Newt's
#B...
Episode 80: Washed Up Singers
Oct 04, 2024Send us a text
Due to our very demanding social calendars, we couldn't record on our normal night, so we grabbed this episode off the top shelf of the pantry--next to the Cream of Tartar and coffee filters for a pot no longer owned.
Mark's movie review of GoShoutout to Mark's buddy and former Ascertainers guest, SteveAre we killing off rock stars?Sorry Rachel MaddowEmphasize the knobSnoop Dogg takeoverNewt's--Also has SaladsCook it yourselfRadio GameShoutout Dillinger FourSingers who should have hung it up earlierYet another Rush monologue#Newt's
#PilotKnobRoad
Classic Chappelle Show...
Duration: 00:44:10Episode 79: Amazing Rock Trivia
Sep 27, 2024Send us a text
We think we may have found a loophole to play music without being sued. Stay tuned and save up bail money for us just in case.
Newt's--still #1 in our hearts, livers and stomachs. Go there!Should we go green?Mark spurs international tensionThe big watchPickpocket vs Peeping TomRadio Game*Who's better than Rob Halford?Hooked on a FeelingObscure Rock Facts/TriviaBrian JonesSpinal Tap and Grateful Dead share dark connectionTravelling WilburysMount Rushmore of Underrated bandsThanks for the text Charlie!Longest running fan club**You'll never guess what Mama Cass and Keith Moon have in... Duration: 00:42:42Episode 78: Early Album Influences
Sep 20, 2024Send us a text
Today we are joined by multi-episode guest, Jason. This one is the second attempt of the night as the first one got a little too real (colonoscopies were discussed). This one is pretty fun, though.
Apologies to Dr SeussJerry Garcia's nubRadio GameFirst 8oo8 witnessed in a movieNational GeographicNewt's--Jalapeno Popper Burger. Give it a try!Yes shoutoutInfluential Albums: Kiss, Grand Funk, Paul McCartney, VH2, Motley Crue, Supertramp, Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Rush, Grateful DeadCar StereosDrop us a line at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newts
#Kleptos
#StatuteOfLimitations
Bac...
Episode 77: Songs with Names in the Title
Sep 13, 2024Send us a text
Dripping with overconfidence from the previous episode, our heroes realize that luster will soon fade, so they barely even try on this one. They lean into the suck. Enjoy!
Another one bites the dustBest of the worst?Easily DistractedErrors and OmissionsNewt's--Legendary TotsRadio Game --the pot growsJim's non-partisan political observationsCheck out these ballsSongs with names in the titleThe Layla "discussion"BangkokSuggestions: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#ForgettingSarahMarshall The weather outside is weather - YouTube
#IsHeDown? Luke Bryan’s cameraman be like .... 😂😂😂Via: @bryanandrewsmusic (youtube.com)
Episode 76: Pizza
Sep 06, 2024Send us a text
Taking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza. Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three. During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing.
Sci Fi philosophyJim's gets his podcast review from MarkJay MohrBrokeback denialNewt's promo--we again get sidetracked, but maybe it's working?Errors and omissions--Donkey talk that gets out of handRadio Game--MARK WINS*Fleet Farm explainedPizza talkA few left and right turns while talking pizza, but we tried to stay on track...
Duration: 00:46:23Episode 75: Offensive Commercials
Aug 30, 2024Send us a text
This one is a tad spicy and faster paced. Makes up for when we usually mail it in.
Early shot at Noah LylesConvention synopsisJim's playing hurtTodd O shoutoutMark's fashion masteryWhite socks--in or outNewt's--New bartender Beth is legitRadio GameErrors & OmissionsWord game in last write up (answers in the hashtags below)Offensive CommercialsArmour Hot DogsJohnson Outboard MotorsCamel CigarettesBall ZackFoldgers CrystalsWonder BonerCalgonHerbal EssenceSorry Mike L, but a guarantee is a guarantee#Newt's
#COVIDmakesYouFaster
#AndTheWinnersAre
#Should'veKnownBetter
#TouchAndGo
#DontLookBack
Episode 74: The Big Salad
Aug 23, 2024Send us a text
We went into this episode with the best intentions of talking about singers with average-to-bad voices that worked perfectly for their band, but then Jim made a life choice at dinner. He ordered a big salad and somehow that decision--and its aftermath--took up a healthy portion of the episode. Should've known better.
Touch and GoBert Convey referenceDoes Jim correct Mark too often?Grandpa Joe creeps Mark outNewt's--When you want a big salad tooLost ball penalty explainedSnarkyRadio Game--new and improvedRIP Greg Kihn and Jack RussellBad singers who made it workJust look old!Kool A... Duration: 00:41:58Episode 73: Little River Band
Aug 16, 2024Send us a text
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, and nobody doesn't like Little River Band. It had to be said. Join us as we rip on each other for a solid 45 minutes (but in a good way).
Your non-political oasisRadio Game enhancement $$More on Mark's giant watchGolf controversy (and bonus Goldmember reference)Shoutout potential new listener LeeAnn (D.O.B. 1990)Noah Lyles--the Ram Jam of American sprintersNewt's--exclusive sponsors of YOUR Ascertainers!Radio Game 2.0 Brief special guest Sara!Go!Investment tipsLittle River BandAir Supply + JourneyMark's professional sign offSound off at The Ascertainers@gmail.com
Episode 72: Misheard Song Lyrics
Aug 09, 2024Send us a text
When you hit rock bottom, you've got nowhere else to go but up! Our daubers were down after last episode, but we rallied and this one is just about as good/bad as the average. Some laughs, some interesting trivia, and (spoiler alert), nobody wins the radio game.
DavenportSears--what happened?Newt's--New Bartender--possibly named BethA rare Audrey sightingErrors and OmissionsCombined songs revisitedThe Big Ben watchRadio GameMisheard Song LyricsIs it true that the shorter the write up, the better the episode? You can tell us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newts
Episode 71: Rock.........Bottom?
Aug 02, 2024Send us a text
Due to scheduling issues and a bout with Covid, we had a 3-week hiatus from recording. You might think we'd be rejuvenated and ready to deliver some mind-blowing stuff, but we both agreed that this episode might be one of our most low-key yet. Maybe you like that sort of thing, but we are working on bouncing back with some more upbeat stuff for our next couple.
Now you have to ask yourself--how bad could it be? Maybe this is one of The Ascertainer's amazing head fakes where it's way better tha...
Episode 70: Our Third Crack at 1981
Jul 26, 2024Send us a text
Super-guest Steve (Mark's friend, not Jim's brother--who is no slouch) is on for our first ever successful 3rd recording in one session. We really wanted to talk about 1981 music, but what do you know? We talked mostly about cars of that era.
Around the world with SteveGuest Newt's spokesmanRadio GameWater bedsAaand we're talking cars againPre cup holderEl DordoHow I met your motherHi FI KennyPulled over for being coolRadio Game part II--we have a winner!Farewell Steve. Nice job!Topic suggestions: The Ascertainers@gmail.com
#DrunkenFins
#Newt's
#YourCarIsSliding Away
Episode 69: High School Hijinks
Jul 19, 2024Send us a text
This is part two of our recording session with Mark's HS buddy, Steve. So much natural conversation that we dang near blew through without an introduction and even omitted the Radio Game. You're welcome.
Bob Dylan fadingBruce Springsteen still gives itThat time Ted Nugent babysat SteveOregon TrailNewt's: Because we asked nicelyLife lessons from Charlie Daniels Band concertUnderage drinking hauntsShoutout Lamont CranstonDuck HuntSeeing your teacher at the barCutting classWe made the paper!Station wagonsEarly cop encountersGracious dadsNeighbor's bushMet Center storiesSuggestion Box: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#Mannings
#WhatDent?
Episode 68: 1981 and Mark's HS Buddy
Jul 12, 2024Send us a text
Today we are joined by Mark's best friend from High School, Steve (not to be confused with Jim's brother Steve). If you judge someone's character by the company they keep, Mark must be a good dude.
RIP SaxophonistsNewt's--New Burger of the Month and we're not even madEven more disorganized liveShoutout Jim's car guy, GriffinMark's hidden accomplishmentsCheck out the big brain on Steve!King MarkShoutout to all the Ruth's out there--and Dr RuthObligatory Meatloaf referenceErrors and OmissionsRIP Martin MullRadio Game1980's: The beginning of the end of the classic rock bandShoutout Tugboat a/k... Duration: 00:42:58Episode 67 AC/DC
Jul 05, 2024Send us a text
We dial it down in terms of tone and volume from last episode with Jim's family. Throwing another music one at you --seeing as we are supposed to be a music podcast and all.
Public correctionsNewt's and Mark's baconShoutout Feegee (creators of our theme music)Mark's championship editing skillsFree Tootsie Pops, er no?UnfrostedRadio GameVery partially true The Office fun fact AC/DCRIP Bon ScottInternational releaseThe Young BrothersTop 5'sLiner notesHomemade cottage cheeseSubmit your recipes: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#DirtyDeedsDoneDirtCheap
#Newts
Episode 66: Jim's Nuclear Family
Jun 28, 2024Send us a text
I know what you're thinking--are these the people Jim grew up with or was one of them bitten by a radioactive spider. The jury is still out on that one. We celebrate Jim's mom's birthday with some laughs and just the right amount of brotherly angst.
**Because we had 5 people and only 4 microphones, Jim decided to sit between 2 mic's to be accommodating. Only problem is that those mic's picked him up just fine, so he didn't have to raise his voice. Lesson learned.
Episode 65: The Gang's All Here
Jun 10, 2024Send us a text
We finally persuade Mark's wife, Dianne, to sit in on an episode. We told her she didn't have to talk or anything--just check it out and she could chime in if she wanted to. Basically, the podcast version of just the tip. Well, we got more than we bargained for as she did chime in, and she was awesome!
Meatloaf againNewt's--The Place to Be!Radio Game (featuring reigning champion: Jim)The bottom of the grab bagFishFirst jobBest monthState FairCircus Peanuts revisitedFavorite camping momentsLocal business shoutoutsHate what you hear? You're not alone...
Duration: 00:40:13Episode 64: Cars of TV and Movies
Jun 08, 2024Send us a text
If you ever wanted to know how Jim would react to winning the Radio Game--this episode is for you. What started innocently as a second episode of the night turned into some pretty good laughs and a good time overall. Mark really liked this one.
Multi-media exposureGrab bag reduxOG Newt'sKiss ArmyMark's grooming tipsThe Miracle Worker--Helen ReddyShoutout Carlos in CTRIP TimberwolvesWomen's Hockey ChampsRadio Game--We have a winner!Famous cars from TV and cinemaShoutout Apple Valley Car ClinicJan Michael VincentWe need some new topics!The MN goodbye#Newt's
#LonelyIsTheNight
Here's th...
Episode 63: Introducing The Grab Bag
Jun 04, 2024Send us a text
New concept tonight. We're not pointing any fingers here, but everyone knew Mark and Jim would run out of topics sooner or later. So tonight, we break out the Grab Bag. Might be a worthy concept, but who's kidding who?
Newt's shoutoutsMark and Jim leave fashionably lateThank goodness we're not politicalRIP Bill WaltonTeam America World Police recommendationTryptophanWe're on YouTubeNobody likes a fibberRear Window/Alfred Hitchcock Radio GamePhylum, Etymology, EpidemiologyThe Grab BagUnderappreciated TV ShowsShout out Apple Valley Car ClinicDesperately seeking topic ideas: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
The Wayne's World 2 Clip: https...
Episode 62: Games Nobody's Good At (Or Shouldn't Be)
May 30, 2024Send us a text
As the title indicates, we could use some of YOUR input on music topics. I mean it's not like we talk about any topic for more than 1/4 of any episode (although there is some juicy Molly Hatchet and Jethro Tull stuff in the radio game today).
Thanks for the theme music, feegee (@feegeeband)Mark shot a 50 and he's going to STATE!Errors & OmissionsWatch "The Wrecking Crew" on Netflix or whateverRemembering the FallenCan we drop the "ham" from hamburger?Newt's already didMark's long walk and driving tipsRadio GameGames that nobody's good atCircus peanut p... Duration: 00:44:04Episode 61: Jim's Wife and 70's Cartoons
May 22, 2024Send us a text
In the spirit of the new golf season, we had to use a Mulligan on this one. We recorded on our usual night, and it turned out even less good/more bad than usual. We added Jim's wife for support and got a much better result.
Golf recapWe put the suck in seersuckerMark's Bird Island-Lake Lillian glory days storyPuckered has entered the chatOur video debutNewt's promo and how Mark beat the systemRadio game1970's cartoonsMoon landing?Betty or Wilma?Tom Brady RoastCartoon speed roundWe'd love to hear from you. Send us...
Duration: 00:48:01Episode 60: Golfing Musicians
May 15, 2024Send us a text
Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good. What does say about you for listening?
Newt's is HOPPINGNew car to MarkSize concernsMovie Reviews: Clerks and Blade Runner 2049Radio GameBee Gees DocumentaryEff Jimmy FallonTimberwolves--can they do it?Sprewell's financial prowessKentucky Derby updateErrors & Omissions2024 golf previewMusicians that golfThe Alice Cooper storyThere is a new "bless your heart/child please"TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newts
#Spree
Episode 59: Wide World of Sports
May 08, 2024Send us a text
We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports.
Reunted and it feels so goodInternational listenersWedding recap--guy styleJim's cool friendsNew Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointedBeyond burger shoutoutRadio GameRIP Dickey BettsHappy belated Charlie!80 Foot WaveWide World of SportsClaudine Longet Ski InvitationalEvil KnievelHarlem GloetrottersFlabby weight liftersF-1 racingHow to not bet the Derby (or IS it?)Apologies to Liv TylerFor those about to rock: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Also, there's a...
Episode 58: Music Documentaries
Apr 30, 2024Send us a text
May was rough on us schedule-wise. We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released. In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel. Careful--we don't know how strong it is.
No matter how you spell it...Earth's gonna earthThe European ModelIman and other one-named celebritiesJoey Browner--we (Jim) promise not to swearJim's first F-bomb in front of his MomMark is the Cliff Clavin of Newt'sEgg MarkMuffinAaaand we're back to the Newt's promoMark's sitting on a revolutionary new ideaRadio GameMusic DocumentariesSpeaking of STD... Duration: 00:44:42Episode 57 : Leftover Night
Apr 18, 2024Send us a text
Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf. It was this, or canned peaches.
Hey German listener...The Subaru of sandalsJim's milestone birthdayOld guy stuffUncle Milty's is biggerNewt's--The We'll See BurgerOur cool new stage propBedtimes and bunkbedsRadio Game--with assist from SarahJoey Browner and various Vikings talkNewt's promo--better late than neverWe'd love to hear from you (especially any unnamed/unknown German listeners). Please email us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
...
Duration: 00:44:51Episode 56: Sibling Bands
Apr 17, 2024Send us a text
Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode. He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode. Be like Pat.
The Rain the Park and Other ThingsSouth Park Randy ShoutoutCSI: Jim's BasementVikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star?Still no Ascertainers Burger at Newt's (but ask for it anyway)Can't spell thrust without trustRIP Count FloydTwo-man dead poolErrors and OmissionsThe OutsidersThink Drink Disney gives a shoutoutSpinal Tap castRadio GameSibling BandsCaptain and Tennille bombshellHey Aquaduct!David Lee Roth CliffhangerTo claim yo...
Duration: 00:40:54Episode 55: 1976 Part 2
Apr 11, 2024Send us a text
For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode. Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55. I bet he also knows Joey Browner.
In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter.
Episode 54: 1976 Part 1 and Jim's Wife
Apr 04, 2024Send us a text
We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one). Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut.
What would you say you do here?Gramma's BoyIntroducing Mrs JimMancini's shoutoutGirl drinksFancy Ray sightingNewt's: Featuring the All-New Ascertainers BurgerErrors & omissionsRadio Game1976 songs, pop culture, etcHair calendarYour vintage currency leaderSilver StreakHappy DaysThe poster/cell phone analogy the world needs to hearSCTVThe long MN goodbyeTo reserve the party room: The Ascertainers@gmail.com
#Newt's
#Mancini's
#CliffRichard
#BrandyAlexander
Episode 53: Dangerous Childhood Activities
Mar 27, 2024Send us a text
The sophomore slump hit your boys hard. We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you. What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were...
Listener shout outsProspective guestsNewt's and how Mark pissed off our ONLY sponsorThe Ascertainer Burger--ask for it by nameMN transplants, Ken and ReneeFabricationRadio GameMTV nostalgiaDangerous childhood activitiesRemo Drive shoutoutHappy Anniversary!Complaints: TheAscertainers@gmail.com
#Newts
#KickHisAssSeabass
#HoldYou
<...
Duration: 00:47:12Episode 52: Couples Therapy
Mar 19, 2024Send us a text
That couple is Mark and Jim. During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal. Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out. Extra Kleenex for this one.....
Another new friend at Newt'sJim and Cory are both Rockets!The Ascertainer Burger?The faux pasDickslaughterThink Drink Disney ReduxInstagram comments gone wrongThat clapper thing in the moviesOne year anniversaryJim's celebrity laughRadio GameMark's fun facts about curling!MN nic... Duration: 00:48:13Episode 51: Think Drink Disney Part 2
Mar 13, 2024Send us a text
One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast. This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers.... The TDD people probably knew that one already). If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen.
Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD)What's with all the Kleenex?Micro ObliteratorCallousesNever pass up a chance to Chuck spinOur endless pursuit of Mr Joey BrownerThe Pink Floyd/Rush theory blown upDinnerSupperMotherMomAntAuntMatt's joke killsRadio GameNewt's promo: TDD-styleAce and Gary hit the townX-Golf shoutoutBricksworth Brewing Bur... Duration: 00:47:09Episode 50: Think Drink Disney Stops By
Mar 08, 2024Send us a text
Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit. Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while. With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs. What The Ascertainers lack in technical proficiency, raw talent and preparation, we make up for in fun (says me).
Episode 49: Who's on First
Mar 01, 2024Send us a text
We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows....
Thick glasses?Choose positivity, damn it!Have to or get to?Cheat dayIce Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalisNewt's is deliciousWhere the heck is Sara???John Cameron SwayzeMark's new neighborFake meat during LentBob MarleyEntertainersUff Da#Newts
#FindSara
#HeardShesOK
Episode 48: Live Albums / Concerts
Feb 20, 2024Send us a text
We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro. As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it. The other half will hate it. Enjoy!
Big ShotsNewts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee!Is it hot out there or is it just us?The two Parris'sThink twice about lending Mark your JaguarMental spotterIt's all in good fun, Mr Browner. Also. we'd love to have you as a guestNeal Peart's sandwichConcrete Blonde referenceRadio GameHeavy Metal Parking LotKenny Rogers is legitLive Albums / Conc... Duration: 00:46:17Episode 47: 1973 And This Time We Mean It!
Feb 13, 2024Send us a text
After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan. 1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening. This one was challenging to spice up.
Knee JobNewt's you say?SymbiosisWho bites gum?Paging our German listener1973--The rise of Heavy Music? Kind of.Mark's guy Eric/Tommy BolinMick Jagger helped record WHICH Carly Simon hit?Mark transitioned in 1973Shout out sister KarenMark's shitty portable radio# Newts
Tell us what you think at TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Episode 46: Potpourri
Feb 06, 2024Send us a text
Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title. One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure. Another way is to question the (lack of) motivation by these hosts. COME ON GUYS (man, that seems like it could use a comma or something)
Digital WorldPhlegmrod Johnson1973 music was a tad mellowJeremy and Man... Duration: 00:43:15Episode 45: 1977 Music Part 2
Feb 02, 2024Send us a text
It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute). Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different. We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All Pro Safety, Joey Browner. It doesn't get much better than that!Seasoned professionalsNewt's. Apple Valley MN. Squirrel!Mark's laptop panicBack to Newt'sBird Island Lake Lillian (IYKYK)Coversation forensicsRadio GameBowie, Iman and Joey BrownerDr Micha... Duration: 00:44:27
Episode 44: 1977 Music
Jan 24, 2024Send us a text
Just Mark and Jim on this one. Feeling guilty about not giving his guest/brother much of a chance to speak on Episode 43, Jim vows to do better on this one--and pretty much succeeds. The bar is set pretty low for him.
Smiley face emojiMark's visit to Como Park Zoo ConservatoryNo gibbons for you todayChuck ForemanWhen to execute a Chuck-spinDoing donutsNewt's was HOPPING!Jim's celebrity look alikeWhich episode do you recommend someone start with?Delayed introductionThe ChuckerErrors and OmissionsRadio Game (Mark throws Jim a bone that he should have accepted)1977: When all musi... Duration: 00:46:21Episode 43: Heavy Bands
Jan 18, 2024Send us a text
Unusual night in that in addition to our typical pre-game visit to Newt's (in Apple Valley--ever heard of it?), we then went into St Paul to catch a live set from the band Feegee (@feegeeband)--who is the technically the artist that recorded the Ascertainers theme.
We had a designated driver, our guest for the evening, Jim's brother Steve. As you might expect, The Ascertainers hit it kinda hard prior to recording and the result is too much Jim and not enough guest. We'll get 'em next time, Steve.
Also...