Out Here Tryna Survive

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Your sexuality is not a community project—and it never needed a committee’s approval. We’re pulling back the curtain on how purity culture, patriarchy, and respectability politics train women, especially Black Gen X women, to carry shame like an heirloom. I share where I’ve judged and been judged, why celibacy and casual sex are both valid when they’re chosen freely, and how agency turns the volume down on everyone else’s projections.

We get practical and personal. I walk through the questions I ask before intimacy—am I safe, aligne...

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Let’s tell the truth about a “good, not greatest” year and why it still mattered. We walk through six lessons that rewired how we think about success, love, and healing: movement as medicine for the nervous system, the power of changing your scenery, and why the best highlights might be free. From a poolside summer with my daughter to a hike that started tense and ended in laughter, these small moments outshined the glossy wins and reminded me that you don’t need a new life—you need new inputs.

We also ge...

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A woman is eight minutes from delivery, screaming through a wheelchair ride, and a nurse is still asking about “live births.” That moment—followed by another mother turned away to give birth on the roadside—sparked a raw, necessary conversation about disbelief, danger, and the cost of bias on Black women’s bodies.

We trace the throughline from the labor ward to the comment section: how joy gets labeled arrogance, how visibility is framed as provocation, and how a simple hello on a dating app can trigger a stranger’s need to diminish...

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A headline asked whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing—and it landed because so many women are done letting public romance define their worth. I take you from “boyfriend land” and early mommy blogging to a new center of gravity where sovereignty, safety, and self-respect lead. As a Gen X Black woman who grew up in church culture, married young, and lived the trad-wife script, I’ve seen how the internet once rewarded hard launches and identity-by-relationship. Now, younger women are choosing privacy, soft launches, and lives not anchored to men. That isn’t cynicism...

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The headline said SNAP might pause, and my stomach dropped. Not because of theory, but because of dinner. What follows is a raw, grounded look at who gets hit first when social safety nets fray—women-led households, elders, disabled neighbors, and children—and how Black women absorb the shock long before it makes the news. I share what it felt like to pencil out November with nothing extra, why “just get a job” ignores reality, and how pulling millions from local stores drives grocery prices up for everyone.

We go deeper than pol...

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The moment I stopped needing a relationship, everything changed. After years of pushing through “little t” traumas in the dating pool and holding out hope that the right man would make it all click, a brutal Valentine’s reveal forced a reset. I saw the real pattern: every time I accepted nonchalant energy or waited for potential, I was abandoning myself.

I walk you through the exact shifts that followed—clear boundaries, daily self-love you can actually feel in your body, and a short season of singleness and celibacy that sharpened my stand...

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A high school football game ended with an injury—and a prayer. What came next exposed something bigger than sports: the way covert racism hides behind “safety,” outrage, and the performance of white motherhood. When my short clip of my son praying went viral, the internet rushed to judge a 14-year-old Black boy as a criminal, calling for prison instead of proportionate accountability. We walk through what actually happened on the field, how the refs missed it, and how a missed flag turned into death threats, doxxing attempts, and a media circus that prized...

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The feed won’t stop. One more video of a life ending, one more thread turning human pain into content—and our nervous systems keep paying the price. I’m talking frankly about what it’s like to be inundated by violent imagery, how selective empathy fractures trust, and why we need boundaries that protect our peace without blurring our values.

I share personal updates from a year of real healing—therapy, Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal, The Body Keeps the Score, long walks, and a stubborn commitment to more joy. The...

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// The Soft Girl Survival System - https://stan.store/GraceSandra/p/the-soft-girl-survival-system //

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Ever felt like you're hanging by a thread, quietly crumbling while trying to hold it all together? This raw, honest conversation dives into what happens when a Black woman reaches rock bottom—and finds her way back.

I'm sharing my personal journey from escaping domestic violence through the darkest valleys of complex PTSD, perimenopause, financial hardship, and suicidal ideation...

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Connect with Lily!

Website - https://www.bodyintelligenceacademy.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/bodyintelligence_academy
Her Medium article-  https://medium.com/@lily_56950/love-bombs-and-red-flags-a-story-about-self-trust-703e50041bbc

What happens when two women discover they've been manipulated by the same man? In this raw, intimate conversation, we meet Lily - a woman who had a brief encounter with the Grace's ex-husband years before their marriage. When Grace discovered her then-husband was obsessively creating disturbing artwork featuring Lily's face and planning to sell it, she reached out with a warning. W...

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Have you ever watched a show that unexpectedly cracked your heart open? That's what happened when I watched Netflix's "Forever" - and I'm still processing all the feelings it brought up.

This adaptation of Judy Blume's 1975 novel follows two Black teenagers in 2018 Los Angeles through their experiences of first love. But what struck me most powerfully were the parents - particularly Justin's mother with her protective (sometimes "overbearing") love and his father with his perfect balance of firmness and unconditional acceptance. "You will never lose my love," he tells his son...

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"Why didn't she just leave?" It's a question that reveals how profoundly we misunderstand the dynamics of abuse. Drawing from personal experience as both a childhood sexual abuse survivor and domestic violence survivor, I'm pulling back the curtain on why this question hurts victims and protects abusers.

The truth is that leaving an abusive relationship isn't simply a matter of walking out the door. Trauma bonding creates powerful psychological attachments that feel impossible to break. Statistics show the most dangerous time for any abuse victim is when they attempt to leave...

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The journey to inner peace often begins in unexpected ways. For me, it started with a desperate search for financial independence while trapped in an abusive marriage. In 2018, I turned to meditation not for spiritual enlightenment but because successful people in an MLM claimed it helped them make money. What began as a practical pursuit transformed into the cornerstone of my healing journey.

That first 45-minute guided meditation sent me into the deepest, most cathartic sleep I'd ever experienced—so profound that concerned colleagues and my then-husband couldn't reach me for ho...

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When Tracy Ellis Ross mentioned dating younger men, she faced an immediate wave of criticism and bizarre comparisons to Shannon Sharp – a man facing multiple sexual assault allegations. This glaring double standard perfectly illustrates the misogynoir Black women face when simply discussing their dating preferences.

As a 48-year-old Black woman navigating modern dating, I deeply relate to Tracy's perspective. The reluctance many of us feel toward dating older men isn't arbitrary – it's rooted in consistent experiences with men who remain entrenched in outdated values and toxic masculinity. These older men often expe...

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That voice inside your head telling you something feels off? It might be your inner child trying to protect you from making painful mistakes. In this deeply personal episode, I share how a seemingly perfect romantic connection triggered a surprising healing journey that saved me from potential heartbreak.

After 20 years of marriage followed by dating in my 40s, I found myself experiencing an electric connection with a younger man. Despite our incredible chemistry, aligned worldviews, and mutual respect, my body kept sending intense anxiety signals whenever we weren't together. During one...

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What happens when you walk the opposite path of the "influencer to evangelical pipeline"? As someone who spent 16 years as a minister with a nearly-completed Master's of Divinity, my journey away from evangelicalism toward a more liberated spirituality offers a powerful counternarrative to what we often see in today's culture.

The evangelical world I inhabited taught me I was fundamentally flawed—a "worm" in need of constant redemption. This theology created an environment where shame, guilt, and hopelessness flourished despite my genuine love for God. I felt trapped in a system wh...

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Black women across America are drawing boundaries and prioritizing self-care as they "quiet quit" a country that has historically demanded their emotional labor while offering little in return. This revolutionary act of self-preservation represents a profound shift in how Black women approach their relationship with America.

• Recognizing the roots of the "strong Black woman" trope and its harmful impact
• Setting personal boundaries about which battles to fight and which to pass on
• Deciding in advance when to speak up against injustice without sacrificing personal wellbeing
• Creating space for healing...

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The accusations of narcissism against Meghan Markle have reached a fever pitch, but do any of them hold water? As someone who survived severe narcissistic abuse and later coached other survivors, I bring a uniquely qualified perspective to this conversation.

When researching my previous episode about Meghan's new ventures, I discovered an entire ecosystem of content dedicated to labeling her a narcissist. However, after examining the top five claims against her—that she "manipulated" Harry to leave the UK, "love bombed" him, "can't take criticism," has an excessive "love for attention," an...

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When you strip away the noise surrounding Meghan Markle's Netflix show "With Love Megan," what emerges is a powerful narrative about a woman reclaiming her identity after trauma. Before becoming a royal, Meghan had a lifestyle blog and philanthropic pursuits that she was forced to abandon. Now, freed from those constraints, she's returned to her authentic creative self—and it's beautiful to witness.

The vitriol directed at Meghan reveals something troubling about how society responds to Black women who refuse to stay in their "assigned" places. The cooking show, with its wh...

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Have you ever felt like life knocked you flat, leaving you to start over when everyone else seems firmly established? You're not alone in that journey of rebuilding.

At 48, I found myself making just $10,000 a year after once having a stable career, retirement savings, and a home. The crushing weight of feeling "behind" where society says I should be had me questioning my worth on the darkest days. Between divorce, mental health struggles, and periods of financial insecurity that had me skipping meals so my kids could eat, I've faced the...

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What if you could transform your harsh inner critic into a voice of warmth and understanding? Join me, Grace Sandra, on a heartfelt exploration of self-compassion, where I reveal the deeply personal journey that shifted my perspective from self-criticism to self-kindness. Through this episode, we unpack common misconceptions surrounding self-compassion and learn how it can be a practical, daily practice, especially for black women facing life's myriad challenges.

Reflecting on my own experiences, I delve into the roots of negative self-talk that sprouted in my childhood, shaped by familial interactions and...

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Can a powerful group of women change the political landscape of a nation? In this episode, I explore how Black women have consistently been at the forefront of political activism in the United States. With the startling statistic of 92% of Black women supporting Doug Jones in Alabama, I delve into the critical role they play in pushing back against alarming executive actions. As part of our discussion, I bring to light the importance of resilience and solidarity, reminding us of the collective strength needed to navigate these tumultuous times.

Personal well-being...

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In episode 15, I'm exploring the journey of reclaiming one's voice after experiencing trauma. Sharing my personal story of abuse, the deep-rooted effects of silence, and actionable steps to empower YOU to find your authentic selves. In this episode I'm covering...

• The silence around trauma and its impact on self-worth  
• Recognizing signs of a silenced voice  
• The importance of self-compassion and patience in healing  
• Practical steps for expressing emotions and setting boundaries  
• The ongoing journey of reclaiming one's voice and celebrating resilience  
• Encouragement for sharing experiences and finding community...

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Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of love and pain that you just can't seem to escape? Join me, Grace Sandra, as I uncover the truth behind trauma bonds and why breaking free is so much harder than it seems. Sharing my own journey through a manipulative relationship, I reveal the addictive cycle of abuse and affection that binds victims to their abusers. This episode challenges the oversimplified narratives often touted by pop psychology, urging listeners to seek deeper understanding and authentic healing.

Social media is flooded with...

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In today's episode we're talmout setting intentions for the entire year using just one word. I'm sharing a little bit of my tumultuous journey of the past few years & how I've gotten through it.

BOOK MENTIONED: Shonda Rimes, The Year of Yes - https://amzn.to/3WuHnYd

📚MY BOOK📚

Grace, Actually: Faith, Love, Loss & Black Womanhood

🔗 https://amzn.to/2I2uqBE

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