What's on Your Bookshelf?

We map out a year to declutter life and leadership, moving from neuroscience-backed habit change to practical workplace cleanup, stronger boundaries, and a disciplined pursuit of less. Four books guide the path: Dr. Caroline Leaf, Marie Kondo at work, Mel Robbins, and Greg McKeown.

• theme of the year set as decluttering life across mind, work, relationships, priorities
• recap of past arcs from happiness to facing obstacles
• why we start with neuroscience and long-term habit formation
• introduction to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and the five-step approach
• workplace clutter, meeting hygiene, email and file systems Duration: 00:32:46

We close the year with The Four Agreements’ final chapter and explore how a “new dream” becomes real through imagination, love, and steady action. From Bob Ross to Figment to mountain summits, we turn mistakes into material and choices into change.

• the new dream as practical freedom
• Bob Ross as a model for reframing error
• choosing heaven or hell in daily practice
• imagination prompts turned into actions
• love as a method and self-respect
• identifying and starving the parasite
• opening the door out of comfortable pain
• consistency, tiny habits, and resilience
• reading widely t...

We close out the year by applying The Four Agreements to real life, focusing on how to break old agreements and act like a warrior who refrains rather than represses. The theme is simple: awareness first, action next, approach goals over avoidance, and integrity in the small steps that build freedom.

• recap of the four agreements and the year’s reading arc
• breaking old agreements to create new ones
• emotional mastery through refraining rather than repressing
• energy management and avoiding rumination
• self-care as operational readiness not selfishness
• mastery of awareness, transformation and intent
• p...

We explore the Fourth Agreement—always do your best—and how it unlocks the other three. Through stories on careers, caregiving, and community, we trade perfectionism for presence and turn insight into action.

• how doing your best changes across seasons
• linking the four agreements through daily practice
• atomic habits and identity-based change
• the meditation parable on joy versus overwork
• detaching from rewards to find meaning
• action over theory in relationships and work
• setting honest boundaries for real presence
• rebuilding connection amid loneliness
• repetition as the path to lasting habits
• practical ways t...

We explore the Third Agreement—don’t make assumptions—through real stories at work and home, and connect it to impeccable words and not taking things personally. Curiosity, clear communication, and coaching emerge as tools to replace guesswork with truth and recover agency.

• the trap of adding meanings that were never said
• how merit myths distort hiring and rejection
• assuming positive intent to lower threat and listen
• practical questions that replace stories with facts
• coaching as a way to test beliefs and act wisely
• linking all four agreements to self-leadership

We’d love to hear...

We explore the second agreement from The Four Agreements and show how not taking things personally creates real freedom. Personal stories, practical tools, and a clear path to separate identity from other people’s words and your own inner critic

• Why “not taking it personally” breaks hidden agreements
• Words as spells that bind or free
• The cost of praise and criticism when you cling to either
• Childhood labels shaping adult identity
• Reframing feedback as data not destiny
• Choice over suffering through clear, kind requests
• Building an inner citadel and observing thoughts
• Identity as cy...

We unpack the first of The Four Agreements—be impeccable with your word—and show how language can free you from despair, gossip, and self-betrayal. Through stories, studies, and practical steps, we map a path from reactive speech to clear, kind, and effective communication.

• defining agreements as accepted beliefs that shape behavior
• why words are “magic” and how tone carries intent
• garden metaphor for thoughts as seeds and mind as soil
• stories on encouragement, silence, and lasting impact
• experiments on plants and water to illustrate inputs and outcomes
• giving precise feedback and choosing the right m...

We question the dream of society, how attention is trained by repetition, and why most of our beliefs were never chosen by us. We map the Judge and the Victim, explore fear versus love, and share practical ways to rewrite old agreements and reclaim energy.

• dreaming while awake and the dream of the planet
• attention as a spotlight that shapes belief
• domestication through punishment and reward
• cultural programming, normalizing and perspective shifts
• the book of law, the Judge and the Victim
• the cost of staying versus the risk of change
• moving from fear to l...

We open a new arc with The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, shifting from a year of habits and happiness into a practice of inner freedom rooted in Toltec wisdom. The smoky mirror story sets our theme: clear the fog, see the light, and rebuild beliefs that actually serve.

• framing freedom as the progression after happiness and habits
• why Toltec roots and the smoky mirror metaphor matter
• decisions that pinch and how projection clouds advice
• images of light versus labels and roles
• polarization as fog and the role of attention
• how emotions sha...

We pause between books to invite you to read with us and announce The Four Agreements as our next deep dive into practical personal freedom for work and life. We share why slow, deliberate reading changes behavior, and offer a complimentary Agile Brain assessment to support the journey.

• reason for a pause and invitation to catch up
• announcement of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• link promise to buy from Amazon or Barnes & Noble
• personal freedom as a leadership cornerstone
• why ancient Toltec wisdom applies to modern work
• four agreements as a simple, du...

We map a four-sided pyramid of human needs—self, social, material, spiritual—and explore how foundations enable higher aims like purpose and transcendence. Research, culture, and real stories show why ethics, community, and conscious reflection turn values into action and bias into empathy.

• defining the four opposing life domains
• why foundations like safety and justice come first
• evidence from goal research and world cultures
• how self leads to social, then to spiritual
• in‑group bias, polarization and the contact effect
• ethics as the hinge between ideals and action
• integrating needs into a coherent life purp...

We trace how justice, ethics, and transcendence shape a meaningful life and why chasing happiness fails while purpose endures. JD Pincus shares research, history, and a practical tool to surface unmet needs and align action with values.

• defining the spiritual domain and why it matters
• rules to ethics to transcendence as a growth ladder
• evidence for principle-driven sacrifice across species and cultures
• history’s awakenings fueling social change and justice
• trauma’s link to purpose and giving
• the hedonic treadmill versus durable well-being
• moral gray areas, disgust, and context effects
• risks of ends-justif...

We explore how autonomy enables immersion and why true success is a byproduct of meeting core emotional needs, not a shortcut to status. Stories of lottery winners, creatives, athletes, and leaders reveal why skipping foundations backfires and how failure becomes fuel.

• autonomy as permission, resources, skill, and influence
• immersion as real employee engagement and deep work
• flow state conditions and practical workplace fixes
• failure as essential to mastery and learning
• power paradox and healthy team-based success
• redefining success beyond status and comparison
• agile brain assessment, coaching, and action planning
• inclusion, safety, and auth...

We explore why inclusion, connection, and recognition are the social motives that make work and life feel meaningful, and how loneliness quietly harms health, teams, and trust. Stories from reality TV to school lunchrooms reveal why sincere care and specific praise beat trophies every time.

• inclusion as the base of belonging 
• connection deepening care and trust 
• sincere recognition versus programs 
• grief as real social pain in the brain 
• loneliness risks and health impacts 
• layoffs, survivor guilt, and community 
• social media comparison and FOMO 
• caring leadership, burnout, and loyalty 
• moving from self to service and p...

We explore how psychological safety enables authenticity, and how authenticity unlocks potential. JD Pincus connects fear, narcissism, imposter syndrome, and conspiracy thinking to a broader model of self, social, material, and spiritual domains, leading to transcendence.

• Safety as the basis for authentic expression
• Apprenticeship and voice development before mastery
• Redefining self-actualization as attitude, not fame
• The four domains reframed with an integrated self
• Evidence-based case for spiritual well-being
• Student mental health pressures and system strain
• Fear as information and the SM case study
• Fight, flight, anger and self-control under stress
• Authentici...

We launch a special seven-part series with Dr. JD Pincus exploring the 12 emotional needs that shape decisions, leadership, and fulfillment. Emotions lead, thoughts explain, and leaders thrive when they surface needs and align habits with values.

• origin story from punk band to psychologist
• scope of the book and why the bibliography matters
• emotions as primary drivers over rational intention
• CBT and habit loops for rewiring behavior
• naming and working with the 12 emotional needs
• limits of over-rationalized leadership cultures
• fulfillment, Ikigai, and non-striving compared
• marketing’s promise versus authentic need satisfaction
• preview of n...

We close out the book’s final chapter with a clear call to move from mantra to motion, to treat growth as a loop—think, act, learn, repeat—and to choose deliberate trade-offs instead of waiting for perfect timing. Stories, tools, and a simple challenge help you shift from can’t to won’t to done.

• mindset loop from internal assertions to external action
• sacrifice and invisible work behind visible success
• stop waiting for perfect timing and change current behavior
• can’t vs won’t reframed with yet and tiny actions
• fewer books, deeper application, repe...

We explore how “expect nothing, accept everything” shifts us from rumination to action, drawing on Stoic ideas, happiness research, and candid stories from work and home. The theme is simple: lower the grip of outcomes, raise ownership in the present, and move.

• why hidden expectations derail progress and mood
• solving the reality–expectation gap without toxic positivity
• Inside Out as a model for reframing and presence
• attention bias and choosing what to notice
• work examples where titles and mind reading fail
• using positive intent and direct asks with leaders
• rituals to reduce digital clutt...

We unpack Chapter 7—“I am relentless”—and connect mantras to motion, turning obstacles, doubt, and even well-meaning advice into fuel for consistent action. We share stories about evolving dreams, identity shifts, and practical ways to align emotion with execution.

• recap of key mantras and why action matters
• obstacles and discomfort as raw material for growth
• rivers and water as a metaphor for persistence
• loved ones’ advice as resistance and how to filter it
• identity, judgment, and changing how others relate to you
• evolving dreams across careers and life seasons
• jealousy gap and the myth of overnigh...

We explore Chapter Six of Gary John Bishop's "Un-F Yourself," challenging the notion that we are defined by our thoughts and asserting that our actions ultimately determine our reality and results.

• Your thoughts influence what you do, but you are defined by your actions, not what's in your head
• Breaking through belief barriers requires focusing on the next small step rather than getting overwhelmed by the entire journey
• Small, consistent actions compound over time to create significant results
• Admiral McRaven's "make your bed" philosophy demonstrates how one small accomplishment creates momentum for your entire day
...

We explore embracing uncertainty as the pathway to growth and transformation in our lives, examining how our natural addiction to prediction often keeps us stuck in the past rather than moving forward.

• Uncertainty is where new happens, but humans are wired to avoid it as a survival mechanism
• What you want in life exists outside your comfort zone - if it were inside, you'd already have it
• The most successful people doubted themselves daily but acted despite their fears
• Theodore Roosevelt: "In any moment of decision, the best thing is the right thing, the next bes...

We explore Gary John Bishop's powerful message that no matter what obstacles we face, we already possess the inner strength to overcome them, though this doesn't mean we have perfect solutions or easy paths forward.

• Negative experiences rarely stay contained – they spread like toxic chemicals into all aspects of our lives
• There's no such thing as work-life balance because we have one integrated life where everything bleeds together
• Reflecting on past challenges helps us recognize our resilience and ability to persevere
• Getting connected to reality versus living in emotionally-soaked self-talk narratives changes our perspective
• View...

We dive into Chapter 3 of "Un**** Yourself" by Gary John Bishop, exploring the concept that we are all "wired to win" - sometimes at things we don't consciously want.

• 95% of our daily actions are controlled by our subconscious mind
• Your brain is constantly pushing you toward goals, even when you don't realize what those goals are
• We can be "winning" at negative behaviors or situations like unhealthy relationships or unfulfilling jobs
• Running away from something shouldn't be the path - instead, run toward where you want to be
• Breaking down large goals into small, man...

We explore Gary John Bishop's concept that you have the life you're willing to put up with, challenging readers to stop blaming external circumstances and take ownership of their responses to life's events.

• The crucial difference between being willing and unwilling to accept your current circumstances
• How willingness is defined as "the quality or state of being prepared" – readiness for action
• The paradox that sometimes becoming unwilling to tolerate your situation is the catalyst for change
• Breaking down the path to change: finding the door, understanding purpose, and charting your path
• Why dedicating just 30 minu...

We explore how negative self-talk holds us back and dive into practical ways to break free from limiting thought patterns. Neuroscience research shows we have over 50,000 thoughts daily, and the quality of these thoughts profoundly impacts our lives.

• Feelings from negative thoughts are exponentially stronger than positive ones
• Being stuck on a mental "hamster wheel" prevents forward progress
• The key is recognizing that "you are the answer" to your own problems
• Negative thoughts often serve as protection mechanisms against potential pain
• Changing neural pathways requires conscious effort but gets easier with practice
• Focus on "pr...

We introduce a book that's new to both of our bookshelves: Gary John Bishop's "Un-F-Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life." Unlike previous episodes where at least one of us had read the book before, we're both diving into this one together, exploring its no-nonsense approach to personal development.

• "Un-F-Yourself" offers a wake-up call about how we often block our own progress
• The book's main premise: you are the problem standing in your own way
• Contrasting with stoic philosophy from "The Obstacle is the Way," this book takes a more direct approach
•...

We explore the final chapter of Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," focusing on how life requires us to continuously begin again and view obstacles as opportunities rather than barriers.

• The cycle of obstacles never ends - when we navigate one, another emerges
• Mountains behind mountains - life presents continuous challenges requiring perpetual readiness
• Obstacles become opportunities when we change our perspective and approach
• Success comes from seeing clearly, acting correctly, and enduring what we must
• Growth doesn't mean obstacles shrink, but that we develop greater capacity to hold them
• What once blocked...

We explore two powerful concepts from Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle Is The Way" that can transform how we approach life's challenges: loving everything that happens and cultivating perseverance.

• Thomas Edison's warehouse fire destroyed $23 million worth of inventions, yet he watched with wonder and returned to work the next day
• Shifting from "have to" to "get to" perspective reconnects us with gratitude and excitement
• The story of Olivia, who transformed flood devastation into an organization that's collected over 110,000 pairs of shoes for those in need
• Persistence is an action (hammering at a problem), while perseverance is a mat...

We dive into Ryan Holiday's exploration of "Anticipation" and "The Art of Acquiescence" from his bestseller "The Obstacle is the Way," revealing how planning for failure can actually set you up for success.

• Exploring the concept of the "pre-mortem" – envisioning potential failures before they happen
• Building resilience through anticipating obstacles rather than being blindsided by them
• Using the "What if?" exercise to prepare contingency plans for potential challenges
• Learning to separate emotion from planning by approaching obstacles with neutrality
• Understanding that acceptance doesn't mean surrendering but recognizing what's beyond your control
• Viewing life's journey...

We delve into the final section of Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," exploring how will—the discipline of the heart and soul—creates an inner fortress that no external adversity can break.

• Will represents quiet humility, resilience, and flexibility rather than forceful determination
• Abraham Lincoln's depression became his strength, teaching him to lead with dignity during America's Civil War
• The "inner citadel" concept describes the core part of ourselves that remains untouchable by external circumstances
• Building self-confidence and resilience requires facing obstacles rather than avoiding them
• Theodore Roosevelt overcame severe asthma through discip...

Denise and Sam explore the "Action" section of Ryan Holiday's book "The Obstacle is the Way," focusing on how to seize opportunities in crisis and transform obstacles into advantages.

• The Japanese art of Kintsugi illuminates how broken pottery repaired with gold becomes more valuable than before
• Taking swift action when opportunities arise separates successful people from those who merely dream
• Preparation must happen before opportunities present themselves - when the moment comes, it's too late to prepare
• Crises provide unique opportunities to implement changes that would be impossible during normal times
• Leaders who guide team...

Sam and Denise explore how to transform obstacles into opportunities by approaching challenges with strategic patience and focused energy rather than immediate reaction.

• Using obstacles against themselves requires stepping back and allowing some problems to "fizzle out" on their own
• Non-action can be a powerful form of action when dealing with emotional situations or seemingly immovable obstacles
• Channeling frustration into focused energy creates more sustainable results than emotional reactions
• The "long game" approach often outperforms immediate gratification in both sports and business settings
• Humility is essential when facing obstacles—sometimes admitting the original path isn't w...

We explore two key chapters from Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way" about taking action when faced with obstacles through creative problem-solving and finding alternative paths forward.

• Discussing how "what's right is what works" encourages flexible, goal-oriented thinking over rigid adherence to conventional methods
• Exploring Marcus Aurelius's simple wisdom: "The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out" as a guide to avoiding unnecessary complications
• Sharing real-life examples of finding creative solutions to roadblocks, including Denise's Disney trip detour story
• Examining the concept of the "flank attack" - approaching problems from unexpected angles rather than hea...

We delve deep into the concept of "following the process" from Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle Is the Way, exploring how Nick Saban's coaching philosophy offers valuable lessons for life and leadership.

• Process-oriented thinking keeps us in the present moment rather than fixating on end goals
• Creating systems provides a relaxing framework that reduces decision fatigue
• Figures like Obama, Zuckerberg and Jobs simplified their wardrobes to preserve mental energy
• Effective personal systems must be realistic and accommodate life's inevitable messiness
• Accountability partners can help maintain discipline when implementing new processes
• The formula for success...

Welcome, listeners, to what might just be the lost episode of our podcast! We were ready to share it with you before, but let’s just say, technology and timing had a little bit of an adventure of their own. So, here we are, presenting it to you a little later than expected—but hey, it’s like a fine wine, right? Sometimes it just needs a bit more time to age.

Now, don’t worry about the fact that we’re jumping in at what feels like the middle. Our podcast is designed so that you don’t have...

We explore the concept of persistence from Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way" and discover how persisting through challenges is the key to effective action in life and leadership.

• The best way out of any challenge is always through, not around
• Persistence and pertinacity are key assets demonstrated by historical leaders like General Grant
• Uphill goals require uphill habits and relentless determination
• Having a clear "why" statement fuels persistence when motivation naturally wanes
• Iteration allows us to learn from failures and adjust our approach without losing momentum
• Creating space between our identity and...

We explore the transformative concept of Extreme Ownership from Jocko Willink and Leif Babin's book on Navy SEAL leadership principles applied to business and life. Through powerful military examples and business parallels, we unpack how taking complete responsibility as a leader creates a culture of accountability and success.

• Leaders own everything in their world—there are no bad teams, only bad leaders
• Taking responsibility for both successes and failures builds trust and team discipline
• "Blue on blue" incidents (friendly fire) in business occur when internal teams work against each other
• Leaders must clearly explain strategic...

Have you ever felt stuck when facing an obstacle, unsure how to move forward? The key to transformation lies not in your perception alone, but in what you do next.

Continuing our journey through Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," we explore Part Two – the critical transition from perception to action. Theodore Roosevelt's wisdom frames our discussion perfectly: "We must either wear out or rust out. Every one of us." This choice between meaningful movement and stagnation lies at the heart of overcoming any challenge.

We dive deep into what Holiday calls "the discipline of...

It always starts with a moment. A moment when everything feels impossible.

For Denise, it was standing at the crossroads of a career shift, staring down uncertainty like an opponent in the ring. For Sam, it was watching someone she believed in struggle—not because they lacked talent, but because they couldn’t see their own path forward.

What makes the difference in those moments? It isn’t strength. It isn’t luck. It’s perspective.

In this episode, Sam and Denise dive into Part One of The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holid...

Denise and Sam explore how practicing objectivity can transform our approach to life's obstacles, drawing wisdom from Ryan Holiday's bestseller "The Obstacle is the Way."

• Distinguishing between perception (emotional reactions) and observation (factual reality)
• Our first thoughts come from programming and defaults, but our second thoughts define who we are
• Reacting immediately to first impressions can cause us to miss valuable opportunities and connections
• Diversity of thought helps us see beyond our limited perspectives
• Where the head goes, the body follows - perception precedes action
• Taking yourself out of the equation often reveals solu...

Denise and Sam explore the concept of perception in Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," focusing on how steadying our nerves and controlling our emotions can transform obstacles into opportunities.

• Perception shapes our response to challenges and determines whether obstacles block us or become the way forward
• Public speaking anxiety as a common example of needing to steady your nerves in high-pressure situations
• The importance of being "the adult in the room" when facing workplace or personal challenges
• Controlling emotions doesn't mean suppressing them—it means creating space between feeling and response
• NASA astrona...

Discover the transformative power of military leadership principles in our exclusive new series featuring Denise Russo and special co-host Zach Elliott. This debut episode introduces a fresh perspective on leadership through the lens of military experience, specifically exploring how the disciplined, accountable leadership style of elite military units translates to business success.

The conversation centers on the groundbreaking book "Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win" by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Together, Denise and Zach unpack why military leadership resonates so powerfully in corporate spaces – from the unwavering focus and accountability instilled in mi...

It starts with a storm. The year is 1857, and the economy is collapsing. Panic spreads like wildfire. Investors crumble. Businesses fail. But a young man named John D. Rockefeller doesn’t flinch. He watches. He studies. And while others see disaster, he sees an opening.

That’s the power of perception.

In this episode, Denise and Sam step inside The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday, pulling real stories from history and personal experience to explore a truth that separates those who falter from those who rise: what we see—and how we choose...