Nope! We're Not Monogamous
By: Ellecia Paine
Language: en-us
Categories: Health, Fitness, Sexuality, Society, Culture, Relationships, Education
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
Before You Open: The 5 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Ready Yet, EP. 140
Jan 08, 2026Opening a relationship can feel exciting and urgent, especially once the idea of non-monogamy is on the table. A lot of couples hear advice like “date separately” and assume that’s the next step they’re supposed to take.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I slow that moment way down.
Dating separately can be incredibly powerful, but only when your relationship has the foundation to support it. When there’s unresolved hurt, shaky communication, nervous system overwhelm, or fear being managed through control, opening up tends to magnify those issues instead of solving t...
Duration: 00:14:31How to Talk to a Partner Who Insists on OPP, Forced Triads, or “We Only Date Together” EP.
Dec 25, 2025What do you do when your partner says they are open to non monogamy, but only under very specific rules?
Only dating women.
Only forming a triad.
Only dating together as a couple.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non monogamous relationship coach Ellecia Paine breaks down what’s really underneath rules like the One Penis Policy and forced triads, and how to talk about them without turning the conversation into a power struggle.
This episode is a continuation of Episode 138, where we explored why dating sepa...
Duration: 00:17:41Dating Separately: The Secret to Actually Surviving Polyamory as a Couple, EP. 138
Dec 18, 2025Dating separately is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in non-monogamy.
For many couples, the idea of a partner dating someone without them involved brings up fear, jealousy, panic, and a deep sense of threat. So it makes sense that a lot of people try to avoid that discomfort by insisting on dating together, only pursuing triads, or creating rules that keep everything tightly controlled.
In this episode, I break down why dating separately is about building autonomy, emotional maturity, and real trust rather than abandoning your partner or weakening your relationship, Duration: 00:47:35
The Taboo Side of Non-Monogamy: Pleasure, Healing, and Desire with Sharon Marie Scott
Dec 11, 2025What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look?
In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Sharon Marie Scott, Erotic Mystic, author of Forbidden Alchemy, and longtime educator in kink, conscious relating, and ethical non-monogamy. Sharon’s work bridges mysticism, sensual embodiment, psychology, and the sacred-erotic arts… and this episode goes deep in the best possible ways.
We explo...
Duration: 01:00:21The Relationship Skills That Actually Matter in Non-Monogamy with Dr. Dan Sneider Ep. 136
Nov 27, 2025If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive.
Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both monogamous and non-monogamous partners and brings a grounded, compassionate, very human approach to communication, trust, and emotional safety.
We get into the skills that truly make the biggest difference, including:
• How to communicate without spiraling
• How to know when you’re going too fast
• How to tell old baggage from a real relatio...
Duration: 00:47:16You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of Jealousy (But You’ll Definitely Try) Ep. 135
Nov 20, 2025Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling?
You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.”
This week on Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting real about the hilarious (and exhausting) ways we try to outsmart our emotions, and why logic doesn’t work when your body doesn’t feel safe.
In this solo episode, I share my own “self-help fails,” the moment I realized you can’t out-think a trauma respo...
Duration: 00:21:27Rethinking “Success” in Polyamory with Jessica Morgenthaler Ep. 134
Nov 13, 2025Ever been told that a relationship only “counts” if you stay in it forever?
Yeah… hard pass.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthaler to talk about what it actually means to do relationships on purpose, not just by default.
Jessica’s been practicing and teaching ethical non-monogamy for over a decade, and the way she talks about relationship design will blow your mind a little (and soothe your inner overthinker a lot).
We dig into:
→ Wha...
Duration: 00:49:23Pelvic Floors, Orgasms, and Why We Don’t Discriminate Against the Monogamous with Jana Danielson
Nov 06, 2025What if the secret to better sex, stronger orgasms, and more confidence isn’t another relationship hack—but your pelvic floor?
This week, I’m joined by Jana Danielson, sensual health and pelvic floor wellness expert, Pilates master instructor, and creator of the Cooch Ball (yes, that’s really what it’s called). Jana and I met in a group for sex-positive professionals, and even though she’s delightfully monogamous—we don’t discriminate against the monogamous here—her work is pure gold for every body.
We talk about the 14 muscles that literally mak...
Duration: 00:38:42The Truth Hurts - But Hiding It Hurts Worse, Ep. 132
Oct 30, 2025In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, relationship coach Ellecia Paine dives into the emotional cost of silence in open relationships and polyamory.
If you’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace, or stayed quiet because you were scared of rocking the boat, this conversation will help you find the courage to speak up with honesty and compassion.
You’ll learn how to:
→ Recognize when you’re betraying yourself by staying quiet
→ Understand the fears that keep you silent in non-monogamy (rejection, loss, shame)
→ Speak yo...
Duration: 00:38:35Why You Can’t Just Talk Your Way Out of Jealousy in Polyamory (And What Actually Helps) Ep. 131
Oct 23, 2025You’ve read the books. You’ve had the conversations. You’ve tried to journal your way into compersion.
So why does your stomach still drop the moment your partner says they’re heading to someone else’s house?
In this episode, I’m unpacking the real reason jealousy sticks around in polyamory — even when you've “done the work.” Spoiler alert: it’s not about logic, it’s about your nervous system.
We’ll explore:
Why jealousy is a felt experience, not a failureThe toxic pressure to be the “chill poly person”What actually helps (hint: i... Duration: 00:33:11Rewriting Your Relationship Code: Ditching the Defaults for Real Freedom, Ep. 130
Oct 02, 2025Are you stuck running relationship patterns you never consciously chose? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m breaking down how to identify the default “rules” you inherited about love, sex, and partnership, and how to rewrite them so your relationships actually work for YOU.
So many of us grew up believing myths like:
“If you’re really in love, you won’t be attracted to anyone else.”“To be a good partner, you have to want everything your partner wants.”“Jealousy means love.”The problem? These defaults often create shame, confusion, and conflict in non-mono...
Duration: 00:17:15Relationship Anxiety in Polyamory: It’s Not Just You, Ep. 129
Sep 25, 2025Are you polyamorous and anxious? Does your chest tighten every time your partner mentions a new crush? Are you constantly asking yourself, “Why am I feeling this way if I chose non-monogamy?” You’re not broken and you’re definitely not alone.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, relationship coach and recovering bathroom-floor-cryer Ellecia Paine (that’s me 👋) breaks down:
Why relationship anxiety is so common in non-monogamyThe real roots of jealousy (hint: it’s not just about your partner’s date night)Tools to regulate your nervous system without pretending to be chill when you're n... Duration: 00:26:51The Polyamory Trap of Finding Different Partners to Fill Different Needs, Ep. 128
Sep 18, 2025Have you ever thought, “If my partner can’t meet all my needs, maybe another partner will”?
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why that belief is one of the biggest traps in polyamory and open relationships.
We hear it all the time in the ENM community: “No one person can meet all your needs.” That’s true, but when we take it as a free pass to collect partners to fill every emotional gap, it backfires. Instead of feeling fulfilled, we multiply our insecurities, create pressure on new relationsh...
Duration: 00:16:20Polyamory’s Biggest Struggle Isn’t Jealousy — It’s Scheduling, EP. 127
Sep 11, 2025Most people think the toughest part of polyamory is jealousy. But according to Richie, it’s actually… logistics. Yep, the calendar.
After a life-changing cancer journey with his partner, Richie realized that the hardest part of opening their relationship wasn’t emotions, it was managing schedules, consent, and privacy across multiple partners. With his background in software product management, he decided to do something about it, and created PYE, a scheduling and consent management app designed specifically for the polyamorous community.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, Richie and I dig into...
Duration: 00:55:01Midlife, Menopause & Non-Monogamy: Reclaiming Pleasure, Power & Desire with Carla Wainwright EP. 126
Sep 04, 2025What if midlife wasn’t the decline everyone warns you about, but a second spring?
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Carla Wainwright, Holistic Wellness Coach, Sexual Awakening Facilitator, and self-proclaimed Midlife Alchemist. We talk about what really happens to women’s desire, relationships, and identity in midlife, and how it all ties into exploring non-monogamy, polyamory, and rewriting the love scripts we didn’t ask for.
Carla shares why:
🔥 Desire evolves with us (and midlife is often when it finally gets honest)🧠 Communication has to start with... Duration: 00:38:51The Brutal Truth About Open Relationships, Ep. 125
Aug 28, 2025Curious about open relationships but tired of the Instagram highlight reel version?
This episode gets real about what it actually takes to make non-monogamy work — the messy feelings, the constant negotiations, and the communication skills you didn’t know you needed until it was too late.
As a relationship coach, I’ve seen the glossy fantasy and the gritty reality. Spoiler: opening your relationship isn’t a shortcut to freedom — it’s a crash course in radical honesty, emotional intelligence, and navigating fears you thought you buried years ago.
Whether you’re just poly-curious o...
Duration: 00:34:51Patriarchy and Polyamory — Unpacking Power, Gender, and ENM with Cass Banker, Ep. 124
Aug 21, 2025What happens when you leave monogamy… but bring patriarchy with you?
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Cass Banker (they/them) — a polyamorous, eXvangelical, non-binary human on a mission to deconstruct patriarchal masculinity in themselves and the world. Raised and socialized as a man for most of their life, Cass knows firsthand how entitlement, dominance, and pre-written gender scripts sneak into all kinds of relationships — yes, even ethical non-monogamy.
We talk about:
How patriarchy shows up in ENM (and why “polyamory” doesn’t automatically mean anti-patriarch... Duration: 00:59:20The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123
Aug 14, 2025“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?”
If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been taught your whole life that love only “counts” if it fits in the monogamy box—even if that box is crushing you.
I’m getting real about my own story—how I contorted myself in my first marriage until I barely recognized who I was, why I...
Duration: 00:20:22Leaving Purity Culture, Finding Non-Monogamy: Healing, Desire & Autonomy with Leah Carey, Ep. 122
Aug 07, 2025What happens when you grow up being told your body isn’t yours, your desires are dangerous, and your worth is tied to being someone’s “only one”… and then you finally break free?
In this powerful conversation, I’m joined (again!) by Leah Carey, relationship and intimacy coach and former host of Good Girls Talk About Sex, to talk about what so many folks discover after leaving high-control environments like purity culture, religious abuse, cults, or narcissistic family systems:
→ The floodgates of curiosity open—and suddenly queerness, kink, and non-monogamy are on the table.
Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121
Jul 31, 2025In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamous love, sex, and relationship coach Ellecia Paine cracks open the emotional exhaustion of constantly explaining your relationships—especially to therapists, friends, or family who just don’t get it. She shares what real support actually looks like, how it feels in your body, and why tolerating your truth isn’t the same as honoring it.
You’ll learn:
The nervous system relief... Duration: 00:28:18You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120
Jul 24, 2025Do you worry that your desires make you “too much”?
Like wanting more connection, more honesty, or more love means something is wrong with you?
You're not broken—you’re just becoming.
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting all the way real about the internalized guilt so many of us carry when we crave “more” in our relationships. More connection. More truth. More you. And especially inside non-monogamy, where wanting more can trigger every insecurity we’ve ever inherited from monogamy culture.
🔍 We’re unpacking:
Why w... Duration: 00:14:29Your Brain Gets Polyamory—But What About Your Body? Ep. 119
Jul 17, 2025So your mind gets polyamory—you’ve read the books, done the therapy, had the late-night conversations. But your body? It’s still freaking out when your partner goes on a date. Welcome to the nervous system’s opinion on non-monogamy.
In this deeply validating and often hilarious conversation, I’m joined by Dedeker Winston (co-host of the Multiamory podcast) and Orit Krug, a licensed dance/movement therapist, to talk about why your nervous system might not be as on board with polyamory as your prefrontal cortex is—and what you can actually...
Duration: 01:06:44Creating Sexy, Safe, and Soulful Community with Jamie Love, Ep. 118
Jul 10, 2025What actually happens at sex-positive events? Cuddle parties? Consent circles? Erotic service? 👀 In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of Sex Positive World, to talk about the radical, healing, and totally human side of building sex-positive community.
We cover:
How to start a sex-positive space or community near youWhat consent really looks like (hint: it’s not just “yes or no”)Erotic service, safer sex talks, and the power of devotional touchWhat to expect at events like cuddle parties, massage-a... Duration: 00:46:37You Don’t Have to Be the ‘Chill Poly Partner’ to Deserve Love, Ep. 117
Jul 03, 2025Feeling like the “easy one” in your polycule?
Always chill, never the squeaky wheel?
This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking for connection.
We’re breaking down what it means to disappear inside non-monogamy, why boundaries aren’t selfish, and how to recognize when your emotional self-silencing isn’t maturity—it’s survival.
👉 Topics covered:
What emotional self-abandonment looks like in Ethical Non MonogamyHow "being chill" becomes a trapThe difference between inclusion and being heldReal stories from non-monogamous clients + my own experienceWhy you don’t need to squeak louder to get greasedThe trut... Duration: 00:28:33Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116
Jun 19, 2025Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?
You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern. And until you understand what’s underneath that pattern, it’ll keep showing up again and again.
In this episode, we’re diving into trauma loops—how they form, why they’re especially common in non-monogamous relationships, and how to start breaking the cycle for good.
💥 Whether you're navigating jealousy, communication breakdowns, or emotional overwhelm, this episode will help you:
Spot the signs of a trauma l... Duration: 00:19:10How to Say the Hard Thing Without Burning Everything Down, Ep. 115
Jun 12, 2025You’re not broken. You just never learned how to say the hard thing without burning everything down.
In this episode, I’m sharing how to actually talk about the uncomfortable stuff in non-monogamy—without losing your shit or starting a relationship wildfire.
Whether you're afraid of hurting someone, scared to be misunderstood, or just tired of swallowing your truth, this is your starting point for braver, clearer communication.
What you’ll learn:
→ How to understand your silence survival pattern
→ The exact steps to prep for hard con...
Duration: 00:18:33Tantra, Throuples, and the Best Sex of Her Life at 65 with Xanet Pailet
Jun 05, 2025What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I’m joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, somatic sex coach, and the author of Living an Orgasmic Life.
We’re talking about:
How she went from disconnected and dissociated… to having the best sex of her life in her 60sWhy pleasure is your birthright (and what to do if that feels impossible right now)Why communication matters more than rules — and what healthy sex agreements can actually look likeHow trauma, disc... Duration: 00:45:01Stop Compromising, Start Collaborating: A New Approach to Non-Monogamy Ep. 113
May 29, 2025Tired of misunderstandings, silent resentment, or agreements that leave you feeling unseen?
In this episode, we unpack the real difference between collaboration and compromise—and how building intentional, values-based agreements in non-monogamy can transform your relationships.
💬 Because assuming = conflict waiting to happen.
💛 Collaboration = connection, clarity, and care.
What You’ll Learn:
✔️ Why Assumptions Create Emotional Landmines
And how to avoid them with clear, compassionate communication.
✔️ The Difference Between True Collaboration & Self-Sacrifice
Spoiler: Giving up what matters to you isn’t love—it’s burnout waiting to hap...
Why Self-Love Looks Different in Non-Monogamy (And Why You Can’t “Positive Vibes” Your Way Through Comparison)
May 22, 2025Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right in your open or polyamorous relationship—and yet still crumble inside the moment your partner connects with someone else?
In this honest and unfiltered episode, I explore what real self-love looks like in non-monogamous relationships—especially when comparison, jealousy, and insecurity hit hard.
🎙️We talk about:
Why affirmations fail when your body’s in panic modeHow comparison is actually a survival responsePatriarchal conditioning + why it fuels competitionWhat real self-love looks like when you feel triggeredHow to support your nervous system when jealousy hits “Self-love isn’t about perfec... Duration: 00:20:52Love Beyond Boundaries: Jeff Hudson on Throuples, Jealousy & Non-Monogamy
May 15, 2025What happens when a long-term couple invites a third person into their relationship—and it doesn’t go as planned?
In this raw and revealing episode, I sit down with six-time Emmy-nominated TV producer Jeff Hudson to talk about his memoir Deconstructing Us: My Trouble with a Throuple. Jeff shares what it was like to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of a throuple, how jealousy blindsided him, and why non-monogamy cracked him wide open—in the best and worst ways.
We explore:
Why three-person relationships are emotional rocket fuelHow jealousy shows up even when y... Duration: 00:56:53The Hidden Costs of Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour, Ep. 110
May 08, 2025You know you’re enough—but the second your partner mentions her, the spiral starts.
Sound familiar?
In this honest, grounding episode, I break down the real costs of comparison in non-monogamous relationships—like the way it quietly erodes your presence, self-trust, and peace.
You’ll hear:
Why “knowing better” doesn’t stop the spiralHow patriarchy conditions us to compete—even in open dynamicsWhat comparison really steals from youAnd the exact reframe and tools that help you come back to yourself💭 “They’re not my rival. They’re a reflection of what’s possible.”
This epi...
Duration: 00:16:26Reframing Jealousy as a Powerful Tool in Open Relationships with Dr. Emma Smith
May 01, 2025Navigating non-monogamy can stir up some BIG emotions—especially jealousy. But what if jealousy wasn’t something to fight against... but a tool for deeper connection?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Smith, licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist, to talk about:
✨ How to create emotional safety plans when opening a relationship
✨ The difference between healthy boundaries and rigid rules
✨ Why jealousy isn’t the enemy—and how it can guide your growth
✨ Tips for crafting relationship agreements that actually work for you
"Boundaries are about care, they're...
Duration: 00:55:32Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman
Apr 24, 2025Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more!
I'm joined by Ally Iseman, a certified relationship coach and founder of Passport to Pleasure. Ally brings her unique blend of humor, compassion, and practical tools to help couples navigate the complexities of non-monogamy.
In this episode, we explore:
Why "conversation is lubrication" and how to make it work for youReframing jealousy (even the hot kind!) as a... Duration: 00:44:47Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107
Apr 17, 2025Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?
Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.
In this episode, we explore why comparison shows up in polyamory and non-monogamy, how it impacts your nervous system, and what you can do to stop the spiral and build emotional safety.
You’ll learn:
Why comparison hits hard in non-monogamy (even when you “know better”)How internalized patriarchy and survival instincts fuel insecurityGrounding tools to manage triggers in real-timeDaily practices to r... Duration: 00:15:16Open Monogamy, Jealousy & Mismatched Desires | Dr. Tammy Nelson on Rethinking Relationship Agreements
Apr 10, 2025If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.
In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything from sexual boredom and emotional disconnection to jealousy, relationship fatigue, and the evolving nature of commitment.
We explore:
Why mismatched desires and “monogamy gaps” show up even in non-mono... Duration: 00:53:02Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, Ep. 105
Apr 03, 2025When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.
This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships.
🔍 This episode is NOT about promoting cheating — it’s about understanding why it happens.
🔑 What We Cover in This...
Duration: 00:54:165 Simple Tools for Profound Intimacy in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 104
Mar 27, 2025Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate date nights. In fact, it can start with just five minutes a day.
In this episode, I’m sharing five powerful yet simple practices from my Beyond Monogamy 4CNM Method that can help you build stronger, more intimate connections — no matter how complex your relationship landscape may be.
✨ Mindful Presence — Give your undivided attention for deeper connection...
Duration: 00:37:59Thriving in Non Monogamous Social Situations Without Drama, Ep. 103
Mar 20, 2025The dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners.
Social events in non-monogamous relationships present unique challenges that most relationship advice completely ignores.
In this raw and practical episode, I sit down with Danny to unpack exactly how to navigate these complex situations with confidence. Drawing from our combined experiences, we share the strategies that actually work when theory meets reality.
What You'll Learn:
Proven pre-event... Duration: 00:54:45From Should to Could - Designing Your Non-monogamous Relationships, Ep. 102
Mar 13, 2025Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relationship "shoulds" to relationship "coulds."
In this episode, I'm sharing my journey from living a picture-perfect life on the outside while hiding a painful reality behind closed doors. Together, we'll explore how to break free from inherited relationship scripts and create connections that truly honor who you are.
What You'll Discover:
How... Duration: 00:44:01The Hidden Price Tag of Figuring Out Non Monogamy Alone
Mar 06, 2025Are you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs.
Episode Highlights:
• Understanding the hidden costs of unsupported non-monogamy
• Real stories from couples navigating ethical non-monogamy
• Practical solutions for common non-monogamous relationship challenges
• Expert strategies for building successful non-monogamous relationships
The Real Price of DIY Non-Monogamy
I break down five often-overlooked costs that can derail your non-monogamous journey:
Trust Bankruptcy: How small mi... Duration: 00:21:42Building Polyamorous Community and Connections with Aly Moon
Feb 27, 2025🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all thanks to you! 💜
To celebrate this milestone, I’m joined by Aly Moon, a polyamory community leader with 15+ years of non-monogamous experience and 7 years of hosting events in the Pacific Northwest. Aly is all about creating intentional, inclusive spaces where polyamorous folks can connect, learn, and grow together.
In this episode, we dive into:
<... Duration: 00:52:58The #1 Secret to Thriving in Open Relationships, Ep. 99
Feb 20, 2025Feeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relationships.
📌 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✅ How to define your North Star for relationship clarity
✅ The importance of non-negotiables & why they shape your boundaries
✅ How to break free from harmful relationship patterns
✅ Why shared goals are essential for relationship success
✅ How to...
Duration: 00:14:25The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections with Lola Phoenix
Feb 13, 2025Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise.
Key Insights:
The importance of having a personal "anchor" in non-monogamous relationshipsCreating a self-care emergency protocol for challenging emotional momentsWhy traditional advice like "just go on a date night" might not always workHow to approach STI discussions and... Duration: 00:49:58The Hidden Costs of Ignoring Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships, EP. 97
Feb 06, 2025Have you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships.
Uncover the truth about jealousy:
Why avoiding jealousy actually intensifies its impactHow unaddressed jealousy erodes trust and emotional safetyPractical steps to prevent jealousy from damaging your connectionsWe'll uncover the subtle ways jealousy can take root, even when you think you're "handling it." Learn how to recognize the early signs and address them before they escalate into relationship-threatening issues.
Discover strategies for...
Duration: 00:19:36Reignite Your Dating Life: Overcoming App Burnout and Finding Your People
Jan 30, 2025Are you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love." These dating experts are here to shake up your approach to modern romance, whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between.
We dive deep into why non-monogamous dating often leads to better sex, the importance of DIY-ing your relationships for ultimate happiness, and strategies to overcome dating app...
Duration: 00:56:03Why DIY Jealousy Solutions Fall Short in Non Monogamy
Jan 23, 2025Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change.
I'll explore the hidden complexities of jealousy, moving beyond surface-level solutions to uncover the root causes that keep us stuck. I'll share insights on why willpower alone isn't enough and...
Duration: 00:11:42The Unexpected Paths of Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Annie Undone, EP. 94
Jan 16, 2025Are you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polyamory, and now relationship anarchy. Together, we unpack the raw truth about opening up relationships and why it might just lead to the end of your current partnership... but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Opening Up
How to Turn Jealousy Into a Tool for Growth, Ep. 93
Jan 09, 2025Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies?
In this episode, I'm sharing a perspective that completely changed my approach to jealousy. We're looking deep into why jealousy feels so primal, what it's really trying to tell...
Duration: 00:37:32Why 2025 is the Year to Let Go of Jealousy, Ep. 92
Jan 02, 2025Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace.
What You'll Discover:
How to identify jealousy in your body before it spirals in your mindThe art of uncovering hidden triggers that fuel jealous thoughtsA game-changing approach to reframing jealousy as a helpful signalKey Insights:
Why suppressing jealousy only makes it strongerThe surprising... Duration: 00:14:59Polyamory Explored: Jealousy, Communication and Coming Out Strategies With Kathy Labriola
Dec 26, 2024Are you grappling with jealousy in your non-monogamous relationships? Curious about the differences between solo polyamory and relationship anarchy? In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by the legendary Kathy Labriola, a counselor, nurse, and author with decades of experience guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous folks.
Mastering Jealousy
Understanding why jealousy arises and how it differs from envy or covetingPractical strategies for addressing the root causes of jealousySolo Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy
Exploring the nuances between these relationship stylesHow different approaches impact emotional dynamicsBuilding Trust and Communication<...
Duration: 00:55:57Graceful Rejection: The Art of Saying No Without Burning Bridges
Dec 12, 2024How do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one of our Patreon supporters, we explore how to say "no" in a way that’s respectful, kind, and true to your own boundaries.
Key Topics We Cover:
Why Over-Explaining Hurts More Than It Helps: Learn how to set boundaries without feeling the need to justify yourself.Handling Social Dynamics After a Rejection: Discover st... Duration: 00:29:53Beyond Swiping Finding Authentic Connections in Seattle
Nov 28, 2024Are You Ready to Rethink How You Date?
Tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps and feeling like you're spinning your wheels? In this episode, I sit down with Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and polyamorous community organizer who’s been helping people connect in the Seattle polyamory scene since 2017. Rozie, the founder of Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking and host of polyamorous speed dating events, brings fresh ideas to creating real, intentional connections outside the apps.
Here’s What We Talk About:
✨ How Seattle’s polyamory scene has evolved over the years
✨ Why polyamorous speed dating...
Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still
Nov 14, 2024 Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities.
What You’ll Learn:
Boundaries, Bedrooms, and Beyond, Navigating Non Monogamous Dating with Shannon Whaley
Oct 31, 2024Curious about what it really takes to date in the non-monogamous world? In this episode, I’m joined by Shannon Whaley, an anti-hustle business coach and newly-out polyamorous explorer, as we dive into the challenges and breakthroughs of non-monogamous dating. Together, we break down the nuances of setting clear boundaries, asking the tough but essential questions, and finding self-worth after surviving toxic relationships.
Shannon opens up about her journey and how embracing both non-monogamy and BDSM practices has transformed her approach to building healthy, authentic connections. Whether you’re navigating jealousy, learning to communicate needs, or just star...
Duration: 00:54:48Beyond Vanilla The Intersection of Polyamory and Kink with Maeve McBride
Oct 17, 2024Ever wondered what happens when kink and non-monogamy collide with trauma healing? In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Maeve McBride, a kink and ENM educator, erotic coach, and the Executive Director of Kinkfest 2025, to talk about how these worlds intersect—and it’s not just about the fun stuff (though there’s plenty of that too).
Maeve takes us on a journey, from supporting polyamorous families through childbirth to becoming a powerhouse in the kink community. We dig into how kink can actually be a tool for healing trauma and building emotional resilience by provid...
Duration: 01:04:48Sex Geeks Get Real: Consent Talks Before Getting Busy with Reid Mahalko
Oct 03, 2024Ever wondered how sex educators navigate their own intimate encounters? In this candid and eye-opening episode, I sit down with renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for an intimate conversation about the intricacies of communication, consent, and safer sex practices.
As we chat on a hotel bed (where else?), Reid shares his wealth of experience and practical wisdom on navigating hookups, casual encounters, and the complexities of intimacy in non-monogamous relationships. With his trademark humor and openness, Reid offers invaluable insights that will leave you feeling more equipped to have those important conversations, whether you're exploring...
Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo
Sep 19, 2024Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries.
Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.
Key Insights You'll Gain:
Shuffling Relationship Dynamics with a Deck of Cards, Ep. 83
Sep 05, 2024Imagine a game that sparks deep conversations, fosters understanding, and strengthens your relationships. That's exactly what the brilliant minds behind The Non Monogamy Card Game have created. This innovative tool is designed to help you explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships in a fun and approachable way.
In this episode, I sit down with Ayala & Kristen, the creators of this game-changing resource. As professional psychotherapists from Northern California, they've poured their expertise into crafting 150 thought-provoking questions that encourage players to explore their values, desires, and needs within non-monogamous relationships.
Discover...
Duration: 00:45:57Fluid Bonding and STI Awareness Navigating Sexual Health in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Susan Bratton
Aug 22, 2024In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with the incomparable Susan Bratton, a true pioneer in sexual wellness and non-monogamy. With decades of experience under her belt, Susan shares her wealth of knowledge on everything from STI testing to hormone replacement therapy, offering insights that could revolutionize your sex life.
Susan's candid approach to discussing her personal journey, including her current throuple arrangement and experiences with over a thousand threesomes, creates a safe space for exploring the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships. Her expertise in sexual techniques, communication skills, and intimate health paints a comprehensive picture of what...
Duration: 01:16:11Monogamy? In this Economy? With Author Laura Boyle
Aug 08, 2024Let’s explore the complexities of living in polyamorous relationships with relationship coach Laura Boyle, author of Monogamy? In this Economy?Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory. We discuss the challenges and triumphs of shared living, finances, and parenting in multi-partner households.
From cohabitation logistics and financial planning to co-parenting strategies and managing breakups, Laura offers practical advice and candid insights. We also dig into the social stigmas and legal challenges faced by polyamorous families.
Discover how real people are navigating the intricacies of polyamory and creating fulfilling lives with multiple partners.
...
Duration: 00:54:10Navigating Consent and Pleasure in Non-Monogamy with Jamie Love
Jul 25, 2024This episode gives you a peek into the remarkable journey of Jamie Love, from a conservative religious background to leading a thriving, international sex-positive community, Sex Positive World. You'll hear how Jamie fosters spaces where people can explore intimacy and sexuality openly and shame-free.
Key Discussion Points:
The Power of Consent in Everyday Life: We explore the power of small consent practices like cuddle parties and massage nights for fostering healthy connections and healing pleasure disconnects.Creating Safe Spaces for Exploration: Discover how Sex Positive World's legendary Hawaiian... Duration: 00:45:11Polyamorous Elders: Planning for Your Future
Jul 11, 2024Intrigued by polyamory but unsure how it translates to long-term relationships? Especially as we age?
Today, we're venturing into the world of thriving polyamory in your golden years. Joining us is the amazing Kathy Labriola, a therapist, nurse, and author who's been living the poly life for 50 years! Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, One of my fav's , The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival.
Kathy's new book, "Polyamorous Elders," tackles the unique joys and challenges of navigating polyamory as we...
Duration: 00:51:04The Alchemy of Pleasure: Transforming Relationships with Sasha and Moritz
Jun 27, 2024Let's be real: navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be thrilling, confusing, and sometimes downright messy. But no worries! We've got power couple Sasha and Moritz on deck to spill the tea on building a strong ENM connection.
With refreshing candor, they peel back the layers on cultivating extraordinary intimacy. You'll discover practical strategies for courageously expressing desires, setting boundaries, and managing the inevitable ups and downs with grace. Their approach transcends relationship structures, providing a roadmap for deeper vulnerability and growth within yourself and your connections.
Here are just a few of the invaluable gems...
Duration: 01:11:16First Date Fun: Navigating Non-Monogamy with Humor and Insight
Jun 13, 2024First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered!
Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered.
What to expect:
Break the ice with questions that spark real connections: Learn how to ask engaging questions about someone's journey into non-monogamy and their existing relationships.Ditch the "what do you do?" routine: Learn thought-provoking questions that spark... Duration: 01:01:40From Strict Religion to Ceremonial Celebrations: Dan's Story
May 30, 2024Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.
For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows...
Duration: 01:06:08Unpacking the Relationship Escalator: Lessons from 2 Decades of Ethical Non-Monogamy
May 16, 2024What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was wrong? Our guest today has been openly non-monogamous for over 20 years, challenging assumptions about love and intimacy every step of the way. Get ready to question societal rules and create connections that actually work for you.
Over the past two decades, Brandon has navigated the intricacies of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. He shares his journey - one filled with hard-won lessons on communication, self-awareness, and letting go of expectations. Brandon explains key concepts like relationship anarchy and the "relationship escalator" in plain terms anyone can understand. H...
Duration: 00:45:54No Rules Polyamory: Exploring Pleasure, Tantra and Sex Magic
May 02, 2024Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment.
We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps w...
Duration: 00:46:59Beyond Fairy Tales: Real Connection Strategies Unveiled
Apr 18, 2024Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.
Adam argues that love isn't just an emotion; it's actually deeply rooted in science, specifically tied to the chemical oxytocin. He'll share how understanding the triggers of attachment, attraction, and happiness can completely transform the way we approach dating and relationships.
Adam has a fascinating journey into polyamory and a rich background in both psychology and business, and hes outspoken in his desire to reshape our understanding of...
The Marathon Problem: Overcoming Fears to Embrace Non-monogamy with Poly Pocket Podcast Ep. 72
Apr 04, 2024Welcome to a candid exploration of the highs and lows of the non-monogamous journey, especially after the significant life transition of divorce. If you've found the path to non-monogamy leaving you with more questions than answers, feeling both overwhelmed and intrigued, this episode is for you.
Joining me today are Hunter and Butcher, the insightful duo behind the Poly Pocket Podcast. As a married, UK-based couple navigating polyamory with children, they offer a relatable and supportive voice for those in the polyamorous, consensual non-monogamous (CNM), open relationship, or swinging communities. Their commitment to the development and support...
Duration: 01:05:23From Polyamory to Monogamish: Relationship Coach Gets Real About Polyamory, Ep. 71
Mar 21, 2024Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She’s a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.
In today’s chat, Shelby gets real about her own love life adventures. She's journeyed from exploring polyamory to finding her sweet spot in what she calls a "monogamish" relationship. It’s all about discovering what t...
Polyamory Pitfalls: Handling Jealousy in Non-Monogamy with Ali Hendry, Ep. 70
Mar 07, 2024Jealousy: the green-eyed monster we've all wrestled with at some point, and the surprise guest in many non-monogamous relationships. But what if jealousy isn't the adversary we've been conditioned to believe? This week, relationship coach Ali Henry joins me to unwrap the layers of this complex emotion, promising to take you on a journey from apprehension to enlightenment. We'll share laughs, personal stories, and Ali's expert insights, transforming jealousy from a stumbling block to a stepping stone in our intimate connections.
You'll discover:
- Why jealousy gets a "bad rap" in monogamy and how non-monogamy takes a...
How I Learned to Embrace Abundance in Non-Monogamous Relationships, Ep. 69
Feb 22, 2024Hey friends! We’re going on a journey with Nicoletta Heidegger, therapist, sexologist, and host of the "Sluts and Scholars" podcast, as we chat about the world of non-monogamy on my latest podcast episode. Nicoletta opened up about her 7-year exploration from monogamy to embracing a non-monogamous lifestyle, sharing the raw challenges she encountered along the way. From aligning with partners who share her vision to battling the need to feel "special" and dismantling a scarcity mindset, Nicoletta's story is both vulnerable and profoundly relatable.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Self-Love, Jealousy, and Somatic Healing in Non-monogamous Relationships
Feb 08, 2024In the depths of Orit Krug's personal journey, she discovered an unexpected truth about love and relationships. As she bravely embraced polyamory, she unearthed the transformative power of self-love in navigating the complexities of multiple partners. But just when she thought she had it all figured out, a new challenge emerged, leaving her questioning everything she thought she knew. Stay tuned as Orit's emotional narrative unfolds, revealing the unexpected twist that shifted her perspective on love and self-acceptance.
In this episode, you will be able to:
Shedding Resentment and Finding Freedom in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Daisy Sky
Jan 25, 2024Do you desire emotional healing and inner peace in your non-monogamous relationship journey? My guest today will be revealing the key to finding forgiveness and experiencing profound emotional growth. Unlocking the pathway to inner peace and healing is within your reach, and Daisy Sky will show you how to achieve this transformation.
Daisy Sky, a seasoned practitioner of polyamory, has been exploring non-monogamous relationships for over a decade. Describing herself as a chaotic femme, she infuses her gender expression with an element of delightful disorder.
Daisy Sky's journey into polyamory began in her junior year...
Embracing Your True Self: The Journey Through Non-Monogamy, Jealousy, and Sacred Rage with Sandra Possing
Jan 11, 2024If you're feeling suffocated by societal expectations and constantly striving to fit in, then you are not alone! You may already be sacrificing your true self in order to please others, only to find that it's still not enough. You may be experiencing a constant sense of dissatisfaction, despite following the rules and norms that society has set for you. It's time to break free from the cycle of conformity and embrace your unique identity, because the result you're seeking is not found in conformity.
My guest, Sandra Possing, is an advocate for living authentically and embracing...
Thriving in Non-Monogamy: Deana Tanner's Guide to Healthy Humaning, Ep. 65
Dec 26, 2023Does this sound familiar? You're in a non-monogamous relationship, seeking to improve communication and openness with your partners, but you find yourself hitting roadblocks. Maybe you've been told that the solution is to just talk more, but deep down, you know that's not enough. The pain of feeling misunderstood, disconnected, and unfulfilled is all too real. It's time to break free from ineffective actions and unlock the power of healthy communication and openness, transforming the way you connect with your partners.
Deana Tanner, our guest on this episode, is a dynamic and knowledgeable voice in the world...
Duration: 00:55:36Finding Balance in an Unconventional BDSM Triad, Ep. 64
Dec 14, 2023Curious about unconventional triad relationships and BDSM dynamics?
In this episode, we explore Hannah's journey from swinging to polyamory, the challenges of managing multiple partners, and the significance of setting boundaries and valuing personal time. Discover how Hannah copes with the demands of balancing two partners, work, family, and personal time, and the importance they place on clear hierarchy and boundaries within their unconventional triad setup with a BDSM dynamic. We also discuss the emotional impact, self-discovery, and constant learning within non-monogamous relationships. Delve into a candid conversation that emphasizes the ongoing nature of this journey, the...
Duration: 00:48:52Sexual Safety in Non-monogamy with Evalene Dacker-MD
Nov 30, 2023Brace yourself for an enlightening exploration of non-monogamous relationships, sexual health, and the importance of clear communication. This episode features the insightful Evalene Dacker-MD, who guides us through the intricate world of polyamory, debunking misconceptions and arming us with invaluable advice on navigating these partnerships in a safe manner. We delve into her revolutionary STARS framework that fosters open dialogues about sex, helping individuals to express their desires, set boundaries, and communicate their relationship intentions effectively.
We're not stopping there. The conversation takes a turn towards the often-overlooked issue of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and the role...
Unlocking Desire: Exploring the Transformative Power of Sexual Fantasies with Artemisia De Vine
Nov 16, 2023Astonishing revelations await as we journey into the realm of desires and sexual fantasies with the luminary, Artemisia De Vine. Imagine peeling back the layers of desire, treading into territories unexplored, and gaining a profound understanding of your own erotic wiring. This is not just about sex or fantasy; it's about self-discovery, connection, and pleasure in its purest form.
Dive into the world of stories; the narratives that fuel our fantasies, the scenarios that make our hearts race, and the characters that come alive in our minds. Let's dissect the power dynamic of predator and prey, a...
Radical Honesty and Responsibility in Non-Monogamous Relationships with Leslie Tavernier
Nov 02, 2023Get ready for some real talk about relationships in this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous with guest Lesley Tavernier. We dive deep into the concept of radical responsibility and how it can transform your non-monogamous relationships. Lesley shares her personal journey and sheds light on the importance of not relying on your partner for happiness. Discover how taking control of your own well-being can create a more harmonious and fulfilling connection. If you're looking for practical advice on personal growth and increasing happiness in non-monogamous relationships, this episode is a must-listen!
Leslie, a love coach, takes u...
Polywise - A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships with Jessica Fern and David Cooley
Oct 18, 2023Are you in a non-monogamous relationship and looking for ways to enhance your emotional intelligence? Look no further! Join me, Ellecia Paine, as I interview Jessica Fern and David Cooley on the importance of emotional intelligence in non-monogamous dynamics. Dive into their personal experiences, learn how they overcame challenges, and discover practical tools for emotional growth.
From journaling and meditation to embracing conflict as an opportunity for intimacy, this episode offers valuable insights for individuals in non-monogamous relationships.
Don't miss out on this enlightening discussion that will empower you to build stronger and more fulfilling relationships!
Long-Distance Love: Non-monogamy Across Continents with CJ
Oct 05, 2023Are you in a long-distance relationship and curious about exploring non-monogamy? Today's guest, CJ, a sex coach and pleasure advocate, walks us through their personal experience of how non-monogamy played a vital role in navigating the challenges of being apart from their partner across two continents. We take a deep look into the significance of communication, creating a non-judgmental environment, and the importance of touch in maintaining intimacy, despite the miles.
Navigating jealousy and exploration in a relationship, especially in a non-monogamous one, can be tricky. CJ opens up about their journey of confronting the fear of...
The Art of Setting Boundaries in Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Dirty Lola, Ep. 58
Sep 21, 2023Get ready for a compelling discussion that charts the high seas of non-monogamy. I'm thrilled to have the inimitable Dirty Lola aboard with us, an accomplished sex educator and media personality you may recognize from Netflix's Principles of Pleasure and HBO's the Sex Diaries. Her insights are not just enlightening, but deeply grounded in her personal journey, lending an air of authenticity and relatability that is invaluable.
"I always said that. I am very much a polyamorous person in my heart as part of my identity. I view it as part of my sexuality. It's how my...
Navigating Polyamory and Parenting
Sep 07, 2023Listen to this episode if you're a non-monogamous parent or part of a non-traditional family who wants guidance on how to navigate the challenges and celebrate the unique aspects of your family structure. Koe's insights will inspire and empower you to create an environment where your children feel supported, loved, and accepted for who they are.
Koe, a second-generation sex educator, shares her journey growing up in a polyamorous family and provides insights from her intriguing book, This Heart Holds Many: My Life as a Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family. Koe's raw and honest storytelling paints a...
Duration: 01:02:50Crushing Stereotypes: Exploring the Realities of Non-Monogamous Relationships with Rich and Siobhan
Aug 24, 2023This week we have an enlightening conversation with Rich and Siobhan, from the Poly Podcast, about their experiences with non-monogamy. They reveal how they embraced polyamory, nuanced their relationship structure and even broached this subject early in their relationship. They'll also be talking about their podcast, Polypodcasts, giving you a chance to be a part of their extended community.
As we go deeper into their story, we see how non-monogamy, like any other relationship, is a dynamic, evolving entity. Rich and Siobhan share how their relationship has grown over the past 18 months, including the need to explain...
Shedding Labels and Overcoming Societal Expectations with Alex Cox
Aug 10, 2023Get ready to embark on an enlightening journey with our guest, Alex Cox, as he gives a candid account of his polyamorous lifestyle. Since 2018, Alex has been navigating the intricacies of multiple partnerships, parenting, writing poetry, and battling PTSD while living a polyamorous life. In our heart-to-heart conversation, he highlights the significance of communication, especially while dating someone who isn't neurodivergent, and the vital role of labels in dictating our lives.
As we chat with Alex, we delve deeper into his story, unpacking his personal transformation, overcoming societal expectations, and embracing his true self. You'll also hear...
Navigating Polyamory with Emotional Intention with Victor Salmon
Jul 27, 2023The non-monogamous relationship journey is brimming with complexity and profound self-discovery. This episode opens a window into this world, as we chat with Victor Salmon, who walks us through their journey from their initial exposure to polyamory to their experiences within the BDSM community. Victor offers a fresh perspective on managing jealousy and understanding human connections.
We get real about the intricacies of being a hinge partner and what it means to be a 'unicorn' in the Swinger community. Victor shares the importance of setting boundaries versus people-pleasing, and how trauma can impact relationships. We delve into...
Duration: 00:42:47A Journey of Liberation and Empowerment with Casey Donatello
Jul 13, 2023In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Casey Donatello opens up about the challenges and dynamics of striving for equity in non-monogamous relationships. But just when it seems like they've found the perfect balance, a shocking twist threatens to unravel their carefully built connection. Tune in to find out what happens next.
Meet Casey Donatello, a passionate advocate for boundary pushing and exploring dynamics within non-monogamous relationships. Throughout her personal journey that spans almost two decades, Casey has published three compelling memoirs, navigating the captivating landscape of alternative relationships with a raw, unfiltered perspective. Bridging the...
Duration: 00:43:27Delighting in Self-Connection with Lee Harrington
Jun 29, 2023Are you tired of feeling disconnected from yourself and others? What if there was a way to build a unique web of relationships that truly support your well-being and growth? Well, we're here to tell you that it's possible! In my discussion with internationally known author and educator, Lee Harrington, we uncover the secrets to creating intentional, supportive relationships and fostering self-love.
Discover how finding a balance between hyper-independence and codependence can lead to flourishing connections within communities. Lee shares their journey to self-love and self-connection through their new book, Become Your Own Beloved: A Guide to...
Healing and Reclaiming Power in Non-Monogamous Relationships with Lucy Price
Jun 15, 2023This week, I am talking with relationship coach, Lucy Price. Join us as we discuss the power of non-monogamous relationships and the importance of understanding our own feelings and desires before following someone else's lead. Lucy shares her experiences, mistakes, and valuable lessons she learned along the way, highlighting the concept of monogamish relationships and how to navigate open relationships while respecting everyone involved. We also touch on the challenges of finding authenticity in relationships, the impact of unresolved wounds from our past, and the importance of healing and reclaiming power after toxic relationships.
Gain invaluable guidance a...
Celebrating 50 Episodes: Exploring Relationship Escalators, Jealousy, and Growth in Non-Monogamy
Jun 01, 2023Today we are celebrating a major milestone for our podcast, Nope, We're Not Monogamous: our 50th episode! To mark this occasion, I was joined by Danny, my producer, boyfriend and fellow non-monogamous adventurer. As we reminisced about our favorite episodes, we couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible support we've received from our private Facebook group and Patreon patrons.
Our journey through non-monogamy has been a rollercoaster, and we were excited to revisit episodes that covered topics like decolonizing polyamory, relationship anarchy, overcoming the challenge of being vetoed, and experiencing personal growth through jealousy. We also...
Duration: 00:52:10Embracing Compersion in Your Relationships with Marie Thouin, Ep 49
May 18, 2023Today I am speaking with Marie Thouin, a dating and relationship coach with a passion for understanding the intricacies of non monogamous relationships and a PhD researcher on compersion.
Her experience with questioning the social norms around monogamy led her to exploring alternative relationship dynamics, and conducting research to help others find harmony in their own relationships. We get into what compersion is and the factors that help you achieve it and even block you from it. You're gonna hear so many good tips around compersion, including how metamours and overcoming jealousy plays into it.
Dr...
Duration: 00:55:52Health, Happiness, and Safe Relationships in Non- Monogamy with Nurse Dynamite, Ep 48
May 04, 2023My guest Christina Dynamite and I are chatting about our intimate journeys through non-monogamy and polyamory as we share personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs in navigating their unconventional relationships. We dive deep into relationships, sexuality, and even STIs, offering practical advice and invaluable resources for listeners.
Christina B. Dynamite (she/her) is a vibrant Mental Wellness Coach, Educator, Nurse, and Artist who fiercely believes that being authentically yourself and chasing your passions are non-negotiable needs for a meaningful life.
Dynamite is a human perpetually seeking growth and recovery from trauma, ADHD, addiction, and societal programming in...
Duration: 00:58:31The Journey Through NRE to the Relationships You Desire, Ep. 47
Apr 20, 2023I am talking to life and relationship coach, Randi Robbins, about some of the various forms of non monogamous relationships and how to manage the exciting and sometimes overwhelming emotions that come with NRE, new relationship energy.
Randi is a therapist turned life and relationship coach for polyamorous people. Randi often heard therapy clients share about judgmental and hurtful things that had been said to them about their relationships, sometimes from therapists! This led Randi to diving into coaching as a way to help polyamorous people around the world, providing support as a person who really gets i...
Duration: 00:35:28Reclaiming Your Power Through Self-Love and Pleasure with Kim Coffin, Ep. 46
Apr 06, 2023In today’s episode, I talk with Kim Coffin, a trauma informed body based empowerment coach who's paving a new way for women to discover their inner sexual and sensual confidence. Through her own journey of breaking through societal conditioning, and healing deep trauma, Kim has become an expert in female sexuality, tantric sex, and relationship transformation.
Kim and I chat about our combined insights on non monogamy and polyamory and the power of pleasure and sacred sexuality practices in empowering women, and how to break free from societal conditioning to discover true sovereignty and personal truth. Joi...
Duration: 00:37:26Unlearning Monogamy & Embracing Queer Polyamory, Ep 45
Mar 23, 2023Today I am talking to Lelia Gowland, a married Southern woman with a literal white picket fence, who confronted her fears and her need for anonymity to very publicly embrace her queer and polyamorous identities and discover the beauty of deep connection and authentic self expression. You will hear us talk about how the polyamory landscape has evolved over the last decade or two, and how self acceptance of your personal identities, queer, polyamorous, non monogamous, whatever they are, can affect you.
Lelia is a writer and a speaker who centers her work on authenticity. She's written f...
Duration: 01:12:52Intimacy and Non-Monogamy: Embracing Embodied Choices, Ep. 44
Mar 09, 2023After 28 years of pure monogamy, my guest today dove into a sexuality community to explore something different during what one might call a midlife crisis, only to find herself with a primary relationship that created a load of freedom and challenged her to know the difference between her edges and her boundaries. My guest today is Kim Holden. Kim and I chat about exploring sexuality and relationship dynamics after you've been through a divorce, practicing tools to recognize your own personal yes and your own personal no when you're making decisions, and examining the difference between your edges and...
Duration: 00:48:10Kitchen Table Poly: Unpacking Metamours and Breakups, Ep. 43
Feb 23, 2023Sara and I are talking about her experiences with polyamory and some of mine too! We cover coming out to family and friends as polyamorous, how polyamorous people might handle breakups of their partners, and how to deal with metamour relationships. Dr. Sara Sohn, DPT, PT, WCS is a highly accomplished and experienced pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, and mentor for leaders working in taboo areas.
Sara holds a strong belief that pleasure is a fundamental right and dedicates her efforts to mentoring health and wellness providers to become courageous leaders in sexual literacy. With over h...
Duration: 01:01:46Relationship Vetos: The Process of Relationship Grieving, Ep. 42
Feb 09, 2023Today, I’m chatting with Kyra Gilchrist, a relationship anarchist and solo polyamory advocate. Kyra shares with us how she coped with the aftermath of being vetoed from the relationship that she was in when she was last on the show in episode nine. She describes how being vetoed can be traumatic, how she coped with it, and the tools and skills that she learned working through it.
Kyra is a childcare and birth worker of color living in Seattle with her two cats and turtle. In her spare time she grounds herself with reading, nature and lov...
Duration: 01:17:35Finding Your Inner Dom(me), Ep. 41
Jan 26, 2023Domina Anne Shirley coaches people on how to be the Dominant in their own lives. Today, she shares her struggles with the idea of non-monogamy and we talk about the different facets of dominance and submission as well as how empowering non-monogamy can be. We discuss the importance of finding safety and trust within oneself, and I share my own exploration of power dynamics.
Domina Anne is a Dominatrix Life Coach who supports individuals at owning who they are, so they can create a life, relationships, partnership finances or business they deeply desire from a kink perspective. She...
Duration: 00:38:52