Berner Phone

From nose breathers to dish sponges to uber eats, the dialers are explaining the small things that annoy them to no end. 

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We're back this week with more unique holiday traditions. We're in the thick of the holiday season so the dialers need a distraction. Put your headphones on, ignore your family fighting in the background, and enjoy this episode.

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We're getting in the holiday spirit this week. The dialers shared their family's craziest holiday traditions.

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The dialers had so many good hot takes that we had to do a second episode.

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The dialers are letting us in on the thing they hate that everyone else seems to love.

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We'd rather get involved in other people's drama than deal with our own, so we asked the dialers to tell us their juiciest local gossip.

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We took a risk and tried live call-ins for the first time in Berner Phone history. The only reason we pulled off the admin is because Hannah wasn't involved.

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The dialers called in and shared their biggest turnoffs in relationships.

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The dialers are sharing their craziest customer service stories that prove the customer isn't always right. 

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Des is joined by special guest Gabby Bryan to give their best shot at dating advice.

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Instead of taking it out on their families, the dialers are airing their grievances on the pod and letting us know what's been bugging them.

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We have a juicy one today - the dialers are spilling their family secrets.

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Chris is back and we're in studio. The vibes are high and we're discussing double standards in relationships. 

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Des is giving advice on the questions you don't want to ask your friends.

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The dialers are asking us to hear them out on their most out-of-pocket crushes. 

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Hannah is a solo parent to the pod this week and she's answering the dialer's burning questions.

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Revenge is an art and the dialers may have mastered it.

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We're letting the dialer's choose their own adventure this week.

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The dialers are sharing the advice they wish someone had given them 10 years ago.

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This week we're celebrating some of life's simple pleasures. The dialers are sharing the nonsexual things that are arguably better than sex.

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We went rogue this episode and didn't have a prompt. So without futher ado, let's hear what the dialers are up to and wanting to discuss this week. 

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We asked the dialers to share what makes them feel better than everyone else.

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Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? The dialers are getting the things that are bothering them off their chest this week.

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Hannah has some exciting news and the dialers are sharing the craziest things someone has said to their face.

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Being called ma'am for the first time can really stick with you - just ask Hannah. This prompted her to ask the dialers to share the moments that have made them feel old.

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A prompt so nice, we had to use it twice. The dialers are sharing the random moments that make them feel awkward in public.

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There are many things in life that shouldn't be awkward like waiting in line and sitting in traffic, but somehow our brains trick us into thinking we're embarassing ourselves. The dialers are sharing the random moments that make them feel awkward in public.

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Crashing out is the cool Gen Z way to say mental breakdown. We've all been there, and the dialers are sharing stories of the crash out moments they'll never forget. 

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If you post an inspirational quote on social media your friends might question your mental stability, so we had the dialers share them here instead. 

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The pandemic had a lot of lows, but today we're looking on the bright side. The dialers are telling stories about the positives that came out of lockdown and we share our own story.

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We've all stayed in a relationship a few months too long solely because the person was hot. The dialers are sharing stories of the craziest things they've ever done for a hot person. 

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The dialers were in need of some more life advice and no child gets left behind on this pod, so we delivered. 

The dialers asked for our advice and we didn't hold back.

We're all trying to feel connected to those around us and nicknames are one of the most fun ways to do that. The dialers are sharing the origin story of their nicknames and Hannah shares some of her more traumatizing nicknames.

Gifts can make or break a holiday, birthday, or even a relationship. The dialers are sharing the best and worst gifts they've given or received. 

Despite Hannah promoting her book for the past two weeks, we're talking about the things you shouldn't buy. Sometimes the items we think will make our lives easier actually turn out to do more harm than good.

Our screen times are alarmingly high so we figured we should at least find out what the dialer's favorite and most useful apps are. 

It's a new week, but couples are still fighting. Hannah and Des are back trying to save some relationships with advice on how to move past menial arguments. 

Every couple has that one recurring argument they can't agree on. The dialers are sharing the small but mighty fights in their relationships.

Customer service is a b**** and the dialers told us all their most annoying interactions. From standing up to get a waiter to shaking drinks at a bar, Hannah and Des figure out if they were ever guilty of being bad customers.

The last episode of are you the a-hole was a hit, so we're bringing it back. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the a-hole?" we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week.

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Hannah is back and is passionate about this week's topic. Your notes app is about as personal as it gets, but the dialers are opening up to share the funniest thing in their notes. 

The dialers are making their case for the best TV series of all time.

Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? This week the dialers are sharing the best advice they've recieved from a therapist. 

The list of things that should be illegal could go on forever. You might leave this episode annoyed with humanity, but you'll also feel seen.

The dialers are putting Des to the test and he's giving advice on life, love, travel, and becoming a yoga instructor. 

Search history is personal, but the dialers are letting us in on their most recent Google searches. You can usually find Hannah searching tennis players, celebrities, and the latest documentaries, while Des is on WebMD and looking up ACL exercises.

Hannah's mom joins the episode to explain why we have to protect our energy and let karma do its job. The dialers share stories of when karma came back to bite.

Will people really do anything for money? We're finding out this week as the dialers share the wildest things they've done for money.

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Every now and then, we realize it's time for a spicy episode. The dialers are sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of new things they've tried in bed.

We are learning, growing, and realizing things today because we asked the dialers to tell us "I was today years old when...". Some of these facts might change your life, but don't count on it.

The holiday season has come to an end and it's time to go back the office. Everyone has a coworker (or two) that they can't stand, so the dialers are sharing their worst work stories.

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Turns out the dialers need a lot of advice...so we're doing a part 2 of our unprofessional advice. This week we're dealing with finances, family, and failing relationships. 

It's the holiday season and the dialers were in need of some advice, so we delivered. Lines are being blurred in open relationships, some in-laws just won't take the hint, and our resident cat expert is sharing some knowledge. 

Everyone has their quirks and odd habits. And this week, the dialers are revealing theirs in hopes that they aren't the one one. You'll either finish this episode feeling understood or questioning why you are the why you are. 

A vacation can either be a bonding experience or the beginning of the end of a relationship. This week the dialers are sharing their worst vacation experiences with family, friends, and partners. 

Family and friendship dynamics are complicated, but someone is always the asshole. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the asshole?", we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. 

'Tis the season for the biggest family fights of the year. Hopefully these stories of Thanksgiving conversation gone wrong will make you feel better about your family's holiday dysfunction.

Sometimes it really is better to give than recieve. This week the dialers are sharing the worst gifts they've ever gotten. 

Des is in the hot seat this week. He's answering all the things you've ever wondered about men. This is the most dialers we've ever had call in and you don't want to miss this one. 

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We address the pros and cons of Halloween and people's most embarassing costumes. 

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Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated things in life.

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Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster on Friday nights and burn CDs for their high school girlfriend would say yes. 

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Des is joined by the hilarious Joanne McNally this week. They're giving advice on dating a comedian, in-law issues, how to woo an Irish man, and correct emoji usage. 

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The dialers have been through the wringer with some crazy liars. We start off light hearted then hear some insane (and possibly illegal) stories. We don't condone lying BUT white lies about why you were late or why you canceled plans are completely ok.

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Gripes come in many forms and, in our book, they are all completely valid. The dialers are sharing the things that grind their gears and Hannah gives some advice to the big booty girlies.

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Bad roommates are a canon event, but they always make for a good story. The dialers are sharing some horror stories and we start to realize we might have been the bad roommates. 

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There were some wild and juicy messages this week. We're giving more advice about relationships, trying stand up, and ruining wedding days. 

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We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advice. 

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We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases they regret and have hidden from their spouses. And it's one of our favorite episodes so far. 

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What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no". 

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Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't always listen to us. This week the dialers are sharing some wild pet stories. Some left us laughing and some left us cringing.

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Snack guilt...

The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined nationwide.

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We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas. 

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Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage. 

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Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out. 

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We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up. 

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Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish men sexy and what do we think of therapy? And for the first time ever, someone wants Hannah to talk more about tennis.

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Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of the most unique DM slides we've ever heard.

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Grab your popcorn. The dialers called in with their favorite old movies and Hannah tried to explain the cultural impact of Mean Girls.

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The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. 

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This episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a new requirement at airports. 

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Hangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly different stories to share this week.

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This episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their latest adventures and mishaps in the bedroom. Plus, we discuss how Nikki Glaser is the reason we got married. 

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We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie. 

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This week useless talents are becoming useful. We cover everything from heckling babies to weird toe talents. 

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This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled. 

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Technology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the bright side, there are some great hacks for avoiding these mistakes in the future. Moral of this story: delete snapchat.

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The dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleball. 

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This week we let the little dialers go rogue and tell or ask us anything. We investigate conspiracy theories, get asked some morbid questions, and get called out by a giggler.

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We asked the dialers to share the most toxic thing they've ever done and they definitely delivered. Some were genius, some were petty, and some were borderline illegal but we enjoyed nonetheless!

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This week the dialers are sharing their secrets to beating anxiety. As always they are hilarious, relatable, and wise.

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This episode confirms that pretty much everything in life is a scam. The consensus is admin is taking over our lives, we are all spending more money than we think, and capitalism is always winning.

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The dialers are getting some major "dial"emmas off their chest this week. We cover everything from awkward family situations to open relationships and debating if you should having kids. 

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We don't cook and we don't clean, but we finally feel seen by the little dialers. From taxes to no more summer vacation, being an adult is hard and we haven't quite figured it out. At least we're in this together. 

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If you've been stressed out lately, this is the episode for you. The dialers are spilling the most unique and creative ways they destress. We already feel more relaxed after listening to them!

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We asked the little dialers the craziest ways they have met a romantic partner and they did not disappoint. Apparently love is real and can happen when you least expect it. 

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The little dialers have some hot takes this week. They're coming for dogs, Hannah's love for Italian food, and Taylor Swift. 

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The little dialers have had so many first date and hookup mishaps that we had to make another episode! From awkward sutations to mildly gross confessions, the dialers have done it all. 

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This week's prompt was a hit and the dialers have had some wild mishaps in the bedroom.

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