Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

If you’ve ever felt uncertain about what your teen or young adult might be using—and how easily accessible today’s substances have become—this episode is a must-listen. I sat down with Sebastian Martin, Executive Director at New Life House, a long-standing sober living program for young men, to unpack the alarming rise of so-called “gas station garbage”—substances like Kratom, kava, 7-0H, and “Feel Free” tonics that are marketed as harmless but can create dependency and serious mental health fallout. 

With his deep professional experience and 15 years in recovery h...

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When Jennifer Ollis Blomqvist discovered Motivational Interviewing (MI) in a Swedish women's prison 25 years ago, she found more than a therapeutic technique—she discovered the antidote to professional burnout and the foundation for every meaningful conversation in her life. 

Now an MI expert and trainer who works with everyone from incarcerated individuals to parents navigating their children's substance use, Jennifer brings a refreshing perspective on how this evidence-based approach transforms not just our difficult conversations, but our entire energetic contract with change itself.

In this conversation, Jennifer and I e...

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"When elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers." This African proverb stopped me mid-scroll during a walk, and I saw my family's addiction story with some pretty painful clarity. While my ex-husband, husband and I stomped around trying to wage war on our son's substance use and high-risk lifestyle, we completely missed who was getting trampled beneath our giant, well-meaning feet.

This week's raw and honest solo episode unpacks the heavyweight champion of family conflicts: parents locked in battle over how to handle their child's substance use. I reflect...

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When your journey with a child's substance use stretches into its second decade, you enter what we loving call "warrior mom" (or parent) territory – a place where endurance meets wisdom, and self-preservation becomes an art form. Today's conversation with Hopestream co-founder, Cathy, honors these battle-tested parents who've been navigating their adult children's challenges for ten, fifteen, even twenty years or more.

This isn't an advice-filled episode - because more advice isn't what you need. It's a raw, honest dialogue between two mothers who know the unique terrain of loving a ch...

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When Jan Winhall landed her first job running a group for incest survivors in a psychiatric ward, she discovered something revolutionary: the young women's self-harming behaviors weren't signs of pathology – they were brilliant survival strategies orchestrated by dysregulated nervous systems. This revelation launched a 45-year journey that would transform how we understand trauma and addiction.

Today, Jan brings her Felt Sense Polyvagal Model to parents navigating the bewildering landscape of their child's substance use. Her approach flips traditional treatment on its head: rather than analyzing thoughts and willpower, she teaches us...

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When your child's struggles shatter every paradigm you've held about communication, consciousness, and connection, where do you turn? Today's guest, Betsy Hicks-Russ, found herself navigating this exact terrain as the mother of Joey, a 32-year-old non-speaking autistic man whose journey would ultimately revolutionize her understanding of human potential. Through her discovery of The Telepathy Tapes—a groundbreaking podcast documenting telepathic abilities in non-speaking individuals—Betsy's world transformed from one of perceived limitations to infinite possibilities.

Now, while you may not think this episode seems relevant to families navigating substance use chal...

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There's a certain shift that occurs when you stop charging at your child's substance use and instead learn to back in quietly, treats in hand, like Rocky Kanaka (Sitting With Dogs) approaching a terrified shelter dog. 

In this conversation with Cathy, you'll discover how this counterintuitive approach, born from watching a man give positive affirmations to traumatized pit bulls, might actually hold the key to reconnecting with your own frightened, defensive teenager. (you have to listen now, right?!)

Your child, barricaded behind substance use and sending desperate signals th...

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Author and therapist, Nicole Runyon, LMSW, witnessed something that reshaped her entire career: loving, intact families were producing children with trauma-like symptoms typically identified in severe abuse survivors. As a therapist watching teen after teen struggle with paralyzing anxiety and digital-age depression, she recognized she was working too far downstream. The revelation was both sobering and hopeful—these weren't organic mental health crises, but environmental challenges that parents could actually address. 

Her decision to leave a thriving therapy practice (complete with a multi-year waitlist) to educate parents directly speaks to a p...

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Your 3am Google search spiral feels beyond frustrating when you're usually the one with answers. In this week's solo episode I acknowledge the unique exhaustion of spinning your wheels while your child struggles, and offer a concrete 8-step menu of ways to move from wishing into actionable planning and hope. 

If your existing parenting toolkit isn't working to create positive change in your family this episode will offer ways to rethink and recharge. The best news is, when you change yourself, the rest of the family system cannot n...

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When your child doesn't believe they need help, finding a path forward can feel nearly impossible and is exhausting in every way. Dr. Xavier Amador offers profound hope through his LEAP method—a neuroscience-backed approach born from both his clinical expertise and the raw reality of loving family members with schizophrenia.

Dr. Amador's journey began with seven transformative days at his brother's side, where traditional confrontation failed spectacularly. His brother, brilliant yet trapped by anosognosia (the neurological inability to perceive one's own illness), couldn't recognize what everyone else could see. It...

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If you've ever found yourself tiptoeing through your own home, rehearsing conversations to avoid triggering an explosion, or even putting a lock on your bedroom door for protection—you're not alone. Today's conversation with Dina Cannizzaro, Hopestream's Director of Education, confronts the uncomfortable reality so many parents face: how profoundly we normalize dangerous situations when our child struggles with substances.

Dina brings battle-tested wisdom from parenting her son Parker through nine years of IV heroin use (now nine years sober) and coaching hundreds of families through similar chaos. She shares the ex...

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When a young person you love is struggling with substances or challenging behaviors, the instinct to fix everything can feel overwhelming. In this illuminating conversation, marriage and family therapist Todd Sarner brings decades of attachment science into sharp focus, and offers a roadmap for parents navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence. 

Drawing from his training with Dr. Gordon Neufeld and other attachment pioneers, Todd reveals why our kids' most hurtful behaviors often mask their deepest needs for connection. We explore the delicate dance between holding firm boundaries and maintaining compassion – wha...

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In this episode Cathy and I discuss unique skills from the business world that can be applied to our relationships - especially one with a struggling teen or young adult who is misusing substances and has mental health challenges. 

I share a surprising learning I picked up from reading a book about hostage negotiation (you may even be able to relate to that kind of situation) and we dig into why it’s important for parents not to take your child’s actions and behaviors too personally. We tie this all int...

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If someone in your life has an unhealthy relationship with drugs and/or alcohol, you likely already know my guest for today’s episode - Amber Hollingsworth. Amber hosts the wildly popular YouTube channel, “Put The Shovel Down,” with nearly 1 million subscribers. 

Amber and I sat down to talk about her addiction-riddled family of origin, and the best advice she gives family members from her two-plus decades in the field of addiction counseling. We cover what to do if parents aren’t on the same page about their child’s substance u...

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When your friend or family member has a child struggling with mental health and substance use, it can feel awkward and difficult to know how to help support them. This episode is meant to be a resource for learning ways that you can be helpful, not hurtful, when your friend or family member is experiencing a parenting crisis.

I share some common misperceptions about addiction and substance use, talk about the latest science on motivation and change, and give real examples of what you can do to help. It’s a pr...

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Trevor Hanson had accumulated a pretty good life - from living on a beach in Hawaii, to getting a great job at Tesla and engaged to be married. One year later, he was unemployed, his engagement and his jaw were both broken, and he was living alone in the Reno desert.

Trevor suffered depression, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts before deciding to seek therapeutic help. He developed a real appreciation for the process of therapy – but he also had ideas about how it could be better.

Today, Trevor holds a...

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We've all been there. A tense or heated conversation where something flies out of your mouth that you don't really mean, or you inflict your 'help' when it's not wanted or needed. You might, at times, find yourself solving a problem that has nothing to do with you, or you give well-intentioned advice to someone who will never, ever take it.

Enter our favorite Hopestream tool...the Lip Clip. A metaphorical device that prevents you from jumping in when you should really stay back, and gives you a magical opportunity...

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Substance use and recovery can shift every aspect of a young person's life - even the faith that has been deeply ingrained in someone’s upbringing.  Parents often have visions and expectations of their child's lives, and for parents of faith, that usually includes a life of shared values and traditions.  So what happens when our kids choose differently?

My guest today, Heather Frazier, only developed ideas about this when her own children not-so-politely exited the family's religious practice. Her advice has striking similarities to our advice to parents of kids...

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When Ed and Mary Ternan finally met the police officer who had been on scene at their son's overdose death, he had an off-the-record theory: "This is not official, and you'll have to wait for toxicology to come back, but this is going to be fentanyl," the officer told them.

News about the synthetic opioid is inescapable today, but in 2020, the couple had never heard of it. Charlie was a popular, successful student with no substance use issues. How could this have happened?

As it turned out, Charlie...

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It’s hard to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose recovery or remain in an unhealthy lifestyle. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro, a mom who has been through hell and back (more than once), but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into taking actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and how to harness the surprising power of self-care. 

You’ll hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he...

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It’s the season parents often dream of - their high school senior has successfully walked the stage and they’re now packing the family car to make the ceremonial drive to the four-year university their family goes to. They’ll do Parent Weekend, buy the sweatshirt and bumper sticker and wave their child off until they see them at Thanksgiving.

But it doesn’t go like that for everyone, and it sometimes feels like a facade if your child is on their way to a four-year university when they may be b...

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In this summer 'from the vault' episode I'm resharing an impactful interview with Dr. Mark McConville, a clinical psychologist specializing in adolescents and young adults. We discuss:

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A fresh new, 'from-the-vault' episode that is as relevant today as it was in 2022!

Navigating life with a young person who’s misusing substances and struggling with mental health can feel like a ride in a very stormy sea. Parents need to be well-equipped for the journey, but often aren’t sure what the mandatory, life-saving provisions are to bring along. 

In this episode, Cathy Cioth, Hopestream Community co-founder, joins me to share our top six recommended provisions for parents as you navigate the turbulence that comes with a chall...

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In this 'from the vault' episode of Hopestream (originally episode #100), I share my journey since launching the podcast in January 2020 and curated the top 11 learnings and insights I gleaned from my incredible guests. If you want a lot of bang for your buck, this is the episode for you.

I dive deep into topics such as letting go of control, embracing discomfort, practicing radical acceptance, and fostering open communication. I emphasize the profound influence we as parents have on our children and the transformative power of self-care and presence. And good...

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Need a way to better navigate even the most challenging conversations? 

Over time, I've learned that making a request of someone can go south quickly when you don't know how to set it up properly. In this "from-the-vault" episode from my 2021 archives (perfect for our summer slowdown while I recharge between recording sessions), I share one of my absolute favorite communication frameworks that you can learn in 30 minutes and start using within hours.

The SURF technique—known in traditional CRAFT terminology as "positive communication" provides a practical conversation framework for...

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In this episode from the vault, I draw from my own experiences to share four counterintuitive strategies that can transform relationships and encourage healing when you're parenting a young person struggling with substance use and mental health. 

I emphasize the importance of asking questions instead of giving commands, focusing on self-reflection rather than solely on your child, trusting a higher power, and broadening your perspective to see the bigger picture. 

I've also included recommendations for books, podcasts, and exercises to support you on this challenging journey, promising hope an...

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This week I’m bringing back an episode from 2020 that is just as relevant today as it was then. The episode covers ten hard truths parents need to face when you recognize potential substance use, or if you know you’re dealing with an addiction. 

It’s a great episode for those who are new to the experience of having your child dabble in or become dependent on substances, and there are also truths that apply to the seasoned parent who’s been at this for a while.

This is a...

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It's summer and we're diving deep into the Hopestream episode vault to bring you some listener faves and a few that just work when you need connection and understanding. Today, you'll hear about The Secret Menu, originally aired in August of 2023 - with the addition of a new story and insights.

Sometimes you can gain a different understanding of things by looking at them through a new lens. This bite-size episode does that for you as the parent of a young person who struggles with substances and mental health - in...

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Figuring out your evolving role as a parent during your child’s adolescence is difficult, even if you aren’t dealing with substance misuse. The natural inclination to protect and nurture is already being challenged by your child’s growing sense of autonomy. You’re told to step back, control less, and allow them to make their own mistakes.  

So, for parents of kids who are misusing substances and struggling with mental health, this process is especially agonizing. How do you walk the line between healthy support and “enabling?”  How do you, as a p...

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In part two of this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into two more of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART TWO:

In part two, we marvel at and empathize with you when it comes to the insane learning curve parents face when their child is experimenting with or addicted to substances and facing mental health issues. We faced it ourselves and proudly wear our honorary Real Life Research Ph.D...

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Sometimes, the hardest parts of our journey are the feelings we can't quite put our finger on, when you can tell something feels off but can't really articulate exactly what's wrong. In this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into four of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART ONE:

In part one, we cover the kind of grief that doesn't get a funeral, the common response of hypervigilance and the exhaustion...

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At times it can be confusing for parents of teens and young adults who are misusing substances to tease apart the concept of acceptance vs. the act of accepting. In this solo episode, I help distinguish the two and give examples of why it’s so important to both accept this part of your life while at the same time keep yourself safe, healthy and sane through being clear on what you will and will not be accepting of. 

I dive into the complex paradox of balancing love and acceptance wit...

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Henry Maxwell began drinking and smoking marijuana at 12 and by 17, was an IV heroin & cocaine user. Not long afterward, his experimentation expanded to nearly every scheduled drug he could find, from Xanax to amphetamines and highly unregulated substances like ‘spice’. His teen years were largely spent among serious drug users twice his age, and involved many of the traumatic experiences common in that high-risk lifestyle.

At the age of 17, Henry was hospitalized for a cocaine overdose that mimicked the symptoms of a heart attack, leaving him afraid for his own life...

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In this episode, I offer what might feel like slightly brutal truths if you're parenting a young person who struggles with substances and mental health challenges. I emphasize the importance of self-preservation for parents, noting that while you cannot force lasting change in your child or children, you can create the best conditions to foster it. 

I discuss the "self-preservation continuum" - the balance between being fully (overly) involved in your child's recovery and maintaining personal health and sanity. I also provide practical tools you can focus o...

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We’re back with another episode of the ‘Cathy & Brenda Show’, and this week we tackle a topic we see recurring in our community and the parents we work with…achievement-oriented parenting. As two recovering perfectionists ourselves, Cathy and I both share examples of what it looks like to be achievement-focused when your child (or children) struggle with substances and mental health. We talk about the tendency some of us have to want everything on the outside to look a certain way, even when that’s doing damage to our kids, and how it can...

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It's that day, mama. The one filled with many hopes, expectations and potentially big, deep, sad feelings. Wherever you are today, if you're parenting a young person through substance misuse, addiction, and mental health problems, I see you. 

This short episode is my Mother's Day gift to you - to let you know the things you do are seen, the feelings you feel are valid, and you are beautiful and loved.

Enjoy and please be so very good to yourself today, and every day.

This podcast is p...

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Jen Murphy was working with a group of therapeutic outfitters when she had the idea to offer “on the grid” 4-5 day family intensives.  The program was already providing family therapy on 10-day backcountry expeditions - which can be a great option for some. But she noticed a need for families to receive the same intensive therapeutic service in a shorter timeframe, and in a more private and comfortable setting.

As a therapist, this unique model made perfect sense to her and she felt it may lead to more sustainable outco...

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In this intimate episode, I open up about the hard-earned wisdom I've gathered since 2013 when my son's high-risk lifestyle and substance use changed the trajectory of our family forever. I share the words I desperately needed to hear during those nights when I stared at the ceiling, shame keeping me silent and isolation feeling safer than participation. These are the gentle truths that eventually found their way to me through pain, heartbreak, celebrations, and an enormous amount of trial and error.

If you're feeling broken, scared, or wondering if you've somehow...

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The worst day of Barbara’s life came just before spring break of her son’s 4th grade year, which he spent in a psychiatric ward. At age 12, he began using marijuana, and the familiar cycle of problems only continued from there – multiple schools, multiple treatment programs, sleepless nights, and ostracization from many of the parents she thought were friends.

Barbara had zero experience with substance misuse or addiction, and like many parents, she was suddenly thrown into uncharted territory. The friends who stuck with her naturally talked about the positi...

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Eight years ago a miracle happened. Today’s episode is one from the vault - originally published in 2021, which I’m resharing today in honor of my son’s eight year anniversary of starting a new life.

While it’s longer than my usual episodes, this series of story chapters allows you to drop into the ICU with me, among other places, as our family hung onto hope that my son Enzo would not be one of the statistics you read about in the news. You’ll be along for the excruciati...

In this snack-sized episode, I share three concepts to help parents navigate the stormy waters of having a teen or young adult child who struggles with substance misuse and mental health issues. 

I emphasize the importance of self-care and separation from external chaos to maintain emotional stability and effectively support (and not drive crazy) those closest to you. 

I share three key points: visualizing personal boundaries to keep chaos out, understanding that every storm will eventually pass, and recognizing the harm caused by neglecting self-care. There's even a little bit of woo-woo included for those wi...

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As Patrina's daughter began her college life, their relationship and communication remained strong.  They met weekly, usually grabbing a bite to eat or going to a sporting event while talking about life.

Even so, Patrina was starting to notice some things that were a little off: her daughter would map out semester coursework, then end up dropping out. She sent odd texts at night, or called crying. On at least one occasion, her daughter's boyfriend called to tell Patrina that her daughter was out driving drunk after a fight they'd j...

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In this deeply personal episode, Cathy and I peel back the layers of what parent support looks like during your child's long-term recovery, sharing some intimate "what if" questions that continue to echo in our minds. 

Drawing from our own experiences with three kids in recovery, we explore the nuanced emotional landscape of supporting our kids, and ourselves, through the challenges of substance misuse and mental health issues.

We answer questions like, 

"What's my role when when my child is 5+ years into recovery? 

"How do you...

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As a two-time NCAA champion, Janice’s son was steeped in macho culture. But over time, the identity he developed there became increasingly at odds with the truth of his privately held, and personally rejected homosexuality. And while Janice, self-admitted “cool mom” was perfectly fine with her son’s sexuality, her casual acceptance overlooked the intense inner struggle he was facing.

When he moved home from college during the pandemic, she noticed that he looked terrible, sometimes slept all day, and never seemed to have any of the money he earned a...

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In this episode, I delve into the concept of allowing natural consequences as a form of 'invisible intervention' in parenting teens and young adults struggling with substance misuse and mental health issues. I share real-life examples and experiences on the benefits of stepping back to let reality teach essential lessons, emphasizing the need for patience and rock solid boundaries. 

I highlight the challenges parents face in resisting the urge to fix everything and discuss how this approach can profoundly impact a child's journey towards recovery - creating change sooner than l...

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Lynne’s first clue that her son might be using substances was finding a Google search: “marijuana for anxiety.”

Outwardly, there was nothing particularly concerning about his behavior - at first. He had always made good grades, even as an elite athlete headed for college play. But inside, the looming life changes were causing a lot of anxiety. The first time he tried marijuana, he knew it was exactly what he had been looking for and it worked…for a while.

Once he got to college, his use of marij...

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Consider this your wakeup call: In 2023, the number of people using marijuana products daily surpassed those who use alcohol daily - even though three times as many people drink. Young people aged 18-25 make up the largest group of those daily users.

As president of the Partnership to End Addiction for five years, Fred Muench, Ph.D. provided recovery information and resources about all substances, from alcohol to heroin. But when his team looked over their own helpline data, they noticed that calls about marijuana far outpaced every other substance...

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In this episode, I explore how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) complements CRAFT and Motivational Interviewing (MI) to form a powerful approach to influencing positive change in struggling teens and young adults. I explain key ACT principles, such as psychological flexibility and mindfulness practices, and offer three practical tools you can experiment with to start paying more attention to your experience during the Roller Coaster Ride. This episode encourages you to transform your own responses to create better conditions for those you care about while also emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and...

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When Stefan Bate began his third stay at an inpatient treatment center, he was told that he was a "treatment-resistant alcoholic" prone to chronic relapse. Stefan felt deep shame at this realization, but as he would later learn, this is not as uncommon as you might think: Research by Dr. John Kelly at Harvard Medical School finds that, on average, it takes eight years and eight treatment episodes for someone to find sustained remission. But why?

Stefan Bate, the Chief Clinical Officer at Jaywalker Lodge, has a few ideas about...

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Welcome to the first episode of our Hopestream family recovery series! Hearing the trials, failures, and successes of families just like yours will give insight into how other parents are navigating their child's substance misuse, as well as offering you the wisdom they picked up along the way. 

This series will highlight the importance of core family issues: parent self-care, boundaries, the need for community, and positive communication skills with kids who are often at their worst. 

Sarah's story is an excellent place to start. She's the kind of...

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When Dr. David Wiss got out of jail the second time, he was determined to change his life.  But he had no fancy treatment program to take him out of his environment, no medication, and very little therapy. Instead, his recovery was realized through a dedication to healthy eating, exercise, and sunlight.

Today, David is the founder of Nutrition in Recovery - a group that specializes in treating eating and substance use disorders - as well as the developer of a specialized nutrition curriculum that has been incorporated at more than 50 t...

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In this episode, I explore the integration of Motivational Interviewing (MI) into the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) approach for helping a child (or anyone) struggling with substance misuse. I share personal experiences, explain both methods' foundations and principles, and highlight their synergy in fostering effective communication and supporting positive change.

I also share when MI will be useful for parents and how to use it, underlining the importance of empathy, creating a non-judgmental space, and building confidence in your child's ability to change. There are also tips on how...

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Over the five years of doing this podcast and participating in hundreds of calls and groups in The Stream, our online community for moms, Cathy and I have seen patterns emerge and today we’re talking about a few of them. We’re sharing three things we see come up over and over which have a great impact on parents when they have a child or children who struggle with mental health and substance misuse. 

The good news is that there are simple (not easy) and practical ways you can modif...

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From the age of 12, Dr. Judy Grisel loved every drug she tried immediately. Over the next decade of intensive use, she found herself kicked out of high school and two colleges, homeless, and contracted hepatitis C from a dirty needle. At the age of 22, she was told she would die unless she stopped drugs entirely.

Judy rejected the idea of abstinence, but she developed a plan to stop using just long enough to survive. Against all odds, her experimental period of sobriety led Judy to a career as a renowned...

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When Steven Petrow's mother died in 2017, he decided to take up a practice that he'd heard about but never tried: gratitude journaling. As an award-winning journalist for the New York Times and Washington Post and author of several books, he was intimately familiar with writing. But finding joy amidst such an immense sense of loss seemed impossible and a gratitude practice seemed a little woo-woo.

Within a year of beginning, his father also died, his marriage was crumbling, and his sister was diagnosed with cancer. 

So when the p...

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The tradition continues! Each year, I share a “Golden Nuggets” episode with segments from some of the best of the year. This year, you’ll hear from me, along with Kristina Kuzmič, Mary Crocker Cook, Dr. Amy Hoyt, and Jared Murray. Be sure to head to the show notes and download the PDF with links to each of the full episodes.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

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In this personal episode, I sat down with my son Enzo Narciso to discuss his journey of recovery, personal growth, and transformation. Enzo shares candid insights into managing ADHD, maintaining sobriety, and working with adolescent boys struggling with substance misuse.

Drawing from his own experiences of overcoming a high-risk lifestyle and addiction and having to rebuild his health after a life-threatening overdose, Enzo provides hope and practical strategies for parents navigating their child's recovery journey.

The conversation covers topics including setting boundaries, managing triggers, and the importance of consistency in...

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A significant number of parents in the Hopestream community find themselves facing three major issues with their kids: ‘unfinished’ adolescence brains, heavy use of marijuana, and ADHD. That probably shouldn’t be surprising; kids with ADHD are more likely to use substances earlier and more dangerously than neurotypical kids. Fortunately, though, my guest today has studied the intersection of substance use and ADHD for years.  

In addition to her academic knowledge, Dr. Mariely Hernandez brings a lot of personal ADHD experience to the table: her own diagnosis, parenting a son who has...

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Matt Lebris spent his early college years on the Dean's honor list, putting on a suit and smoking weed every morning. But after a minor traffic accident, mixing marijuana and muscle relaxers sent him to the hospital in an intense panic attack.

Since then, Matt has embarked on a mission to share not only the joys of sobriety but the incredible benefits of therapeutic self-work that have helped him come to terms with the emotional deficits of his youth. Matt is currently the host of the "Decoding Success Podcast", where...

This Thanksgiving, join me for a heartfelt exploration of life's most challenging moments. When our carefully constructed and curated expectations shatter like dishes crashing from a flipped table, how can you find grace, gratitude, and grounding?
 
In this short solo episode, I draw from a deeply personal reflection sparked by loss and uncertainty. This episode speaks directly to anyone feeling untethered—parents struggling with family challenges, individuals navigating unexpected life transitions, or anyone wrestling with the gap between what is and what we thought life (or Thanksgiving) would be. 

Gift yourself 15 minutes and find ways to e...

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Kyle Robinson first represented someone in court at the age of 18 years old. He was representing himself, defending against charges of assault, disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace – for a fight that hadn’t even happened. If that’s not foreshadowing I don’t know what is.

Kyle had certainly been in a few fights before this particular arrest. The physical and emotional abuse he’d endured from his stepfather since the age of four had driven him to rebellion, fighting, misusing substances, and a 1.0 high school GPA. But he had checke...

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In 2020, a documentary film titled "The Final Fix" introduced the public to a new treatment for opioid use disorder.  The claims of the neuroelectric therapy (NET) device are bold: opiate detox in 3-5 days with little or no withdrawal symptoms, discomfort, or cravings. Since the film’s release, I have personally known three people who acquired NET treatment for their kids, including two from the Hopestream community. All have had great experiences.

In 2021, double-blind trials of more than 100 people experiencing opioid use disorder began and the NET Device for OUD treatment was...

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When Nancy Landrum’s son was hospitalized with congestive heart failure, doctors didn’t expect him to live through the night. His misuse of amphetamines for more than a decade had left his heart double its normal size and generally wreaked total chaos on his life.

Nancy’s parents and other family members told her that her son’s substance use was her fault. And for a while, she believed them. It’s not surprising that she developed her own addictions to food and rescuing her son. But these dysfunctional coping mec...

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Kristina Kuzmič had harbored some denial about her oldest son's depression, anxiety and substance use. "Lots of kids have problems. Maybe everything will work itself out," she thought. That denial ended abruptly the night she had to call the police.

Neighbors she hadn't even met yet stared from their driveways as her son was pushed into a police car, swearing loudly at her. Her three-word response to the shame and guilt she felt that night may just help change the way you view the world.

Kristina went on t...

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The chaos of Jared Murray's substance use got him expelled from the University of Alabama and banned from campus. How then, did he go on to eventually running the university's collegiate recovery program? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Jared now spends every day talking with young adults and their parents about addiction, mental health and sober life at Momentum Recovery in North Carolina. Many of those parents are in a position that you might be familiar with - desperately trying to convince their young adult child to pu...

In an unplanned and heartfelt episode, I decided to share some thoughts on the importance of acceptance in the face of life's challenges. I discuss how resisting difficult experiences can hinder personal growth and highlight the beauty of transformation that comes with accepting reality.

You'll also hear a story of a life saved recently by one of our members, made possible by the support of Hopestream's scholarship fund. This episode takes place during our Seeds of Hope Giving Campaign for 2024, which you can learn more about at hopestreamcommunity.org/donate. If the Hopestream podcast has been helpful...

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Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is a highly effective but obscure treatment in psychiatry. It received its first FDA clearance for the treatment of depression in 2008 but has since proven itself to be effective for a host of other issues – depression, OCD, smoking cessation, bipolar, PTSD, cognitive impairment, and even autism. And a huge bonus? Side effects are practically non-existent.

If that doesn’t get your attention, consider this: The FDA recently cleared TMS for depression in adolescents aged 15 and up, with studies currently being conducted on efficacy for substance use diso...

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As a mom of four boys, I confess to knowing very little about raising girls. But my guests today have an intimate understanding of the specific emotional needs and experiences of adolescent girls, young women, and gender diverse individuals grounded in decades of therapeutic work.

Dr. Marcy Russo and Sara Osborne advocate for a whole-person approach to residential treatment for many of the most common mental and behavioral health issues -- anxiety, depression, trauma, eating disorders -- and the substance use disorders that sometimes result.

In this episode...

Community Reinforcement and Family Training (aka CRAFT) is a system for helping friends and family members change the way that they interact with someone they love who has an unhealthy and/or dangerous relationship with substances. 

CRAFT teaches family members how to stay connected, increase communication, and effectively encourage their loved one toward treatment, while taking care of themselves in the process.  

This episode centers around what parents need to know about CRAFT to have the best possible chance at having their child accept help for their substance misuse. It's one where you may want a...

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Even before he became a teenager, it seemed to Dr. Steedy Kontos that he was good at anything he tried to do - especially sports.  He shined in football, baseball, basketball, wrestling and track, and recruiters were starting to take notice. It seemed he was well on his way to becoming a professional athlete.

But Steedy had also begun experimenting with marijuana and alcohol at the age of 12. When he was caught skipping class in high school, his coach informed him that he would be required to attend extra summer c...

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Listeners of Hopestream get to hear from lots of amazing doctors, therapists, specialists, and academics. We can't underestimate how valuable their insights are, but we also need to listen to the voices of young people who have misused substances and come out the other side.

That's why our recent guest speakers session for members of Hopestream Community featured an AMA (ask me anything) with three young people who are living healthy lives after facing extreme forms of substance misuse.  Each found their path in the 12-step program, which may be t...

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For those who haven't seen their child's life endangered by the misuse of substances, calling the experience "trauma" may sound like an exaggeration. But my guest today says that the effects on the body and mind are almost identical.    

Dr. Amy Hoyt has been working in the field of trauma for 10 years, with studies ranging from genocide to addiction. But her understanding isn't just academic.  After suffering sexual abuse in her teens, Amy repressed the memories and began drinking before high school classes every morning. With the help of a good...

Parents sometimes fall into patterns that can unintentionally prolong their child's struggle with substance use. In this eye-opening solo episode, Brenda Zane reveals ten common parenting pitfalls that might be keeping your family stuck on the Roller Coaster Ride. I emphasize that recognizing these behaviors doesn't make someone a bad parent but rather, presents opportunities for growth and positive change.

In just 30 minutes, you'll discover practical strategies to shift your approach and create the conditions for positive change – without the guilt or shame. And many of them you can implement today!

Key points covered in th...

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Everyone knows the experience of internal dialogue and conflict about who we are and how we will respond to the world around us. It can feel as if there are parts of us at war with each other. For kids using substances, these parts can become extremely polarized – for instance, part of them wants nothing more than to use, and another genuinely desires self-control. 

My guest today says that while their inner parts are engaged in this debate about use, it's hard for them to see the underlying cause of the...

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After years of producing feature films and TV shows about family life like Cinderella Story, Perfect Man, Lizzy McGuire, and many others, Mark Rosman was forced to face the reality of problems in his own family.

Mark and his wife spent some time in denial about their daughter's substance use. Even after two trips to the emergency room, they decided against professional advice to get her into treatment immediately.  They chalked everything up to ordinary teen rebellion and experimentation, sending her to a traditional boarding school instead. Less than one m...

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When Dr. Jarrell Myers took his first job out of grad school, he loved working with children suffering from anxiety disorders, as well as their families. It was a calling he’d already been pursuing for years. But there was a big problem: many kids who needed needed help for their anxiety couldn’t become patients in his program because they were using substances.  

While this made some clinical sense (for reasons Jarell will explain), it also failed to acknowledge that substance use was woven into their anxiety, often as a cop...

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Christopher O’Reilly says it’s a mistake to think that we can just understand our way out of trauma. But he claims that healing—once we understand how to receive it—can bring intimacy and connection with other human beings in a way we might never know without those challenges.

After surviving his own struggles with substance use, Christopher should know. When he discovered the power of mindfulness meditation to examine his own choices and motivations, Christopher chose the path of change. He has spent the past 20 years helping others d...

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Upon returning from vacation, I started to notice a theme in our community and my friend groups - there are a lot of exhausted, brain-fried parents who are looking for an escape from the day-to-day strain of having a child who misuses or is addicted to substances. From spouse and partner relationships to our kids themselves, we sometimes need time to tap out and escape.

This episode will give you six simple (not necessarily easy) things you can do when you’re looking for an escape hatch to help navigate th...

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We all have more going on in our lives than just kids who are misusing substances. But Leah is currently facing an overload of grief and loss including caring for her father-in-law through in-home hospice, the loss of her first grandchild as a newborn, and now caring in-home for her mother and sister-in-law, both of whom are suffering from alzheimers and dementia. Her oldest son, who’s been struggling with substance misuse for eight years, has recently been expressing suicidal ideation. All of this while Leah is working and raising her youngest, a...

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When AJ Diaz left his sober living home after a year-long stay, he got the same thing everyone else did - a sheet of paper that essentially said, "Here is your relapse prevention plan.We wish you the best."  AJ felt in his gut this was insufficient to support people in early recovery, and after years of working in the field, he now knows he was right.  

AJ says staying sober within the four walls of treatment isn’t all that hard. Individuals receive hot meals, supportive staff, structure and rout...

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Ken Guidroz's son hit a Los Angeles bicyclist while high on heroin, killing the man before his body hit the ground. Ken's son fled the scene but turned himself in less than 24 hours later.

What followed this tragic accident was a long period of pain and loss not only for the widow of the deceased but for Ken's entire family, as his son was sentenced to years in prison. Ken had given much of his life to God, making sacrifices to serve nearly a decade as leader of congregations and...

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Over 35 years of reporting on the terrible consequences of both drugs and the war on drugs, Pulitzer Prize finalist Paul Solotaroff developed deep contacts with DEA, Homeland Security, and other branches of law enforcement across the country.  Paul had already seen the deadly wave of fentanyl-spiked heroin in 2013-2014, so when a top official at the DOJ called him last year sounding more desperate than ever before, he knew there was a serious crisis.  

Paul was informed that 5-10 children were dying every day from a new scourge: fake pharmaceuticals li...

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Lara Okoloko wants parents to understand something important:

The majority of treatment options were designed for older adults with severe substance use disorders. She says we shouldn’t be surprised that young people with mild to moderate disorders are not interested in identifying with a permanent label of “addict” or “alcoholic” and swearing lifelong abstinence.

The standardization of treatment for older adults has also led parents to believe that anyone with a substance use disorder is destined for jail, institutions and death unless they find sobriety. Lara says this just...

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If you’re a loyal podcast listener, or just new to our space, you might be curious about what the Hopestream Community membership is all about, and if it would be helpful for you. 

Because we get questions about this all the time, Hopestream co-founder, Cathy Cioth and I decided to dedicate an episode to answering them. We cover questions like, is my kid bad enough (or too bad) for this community? What if my kid is already in treatment and I have great support there? What if I’m a men...

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"Codependent" is one of the many words that has moved from the mental health field into casual, daily conversation. Unfortunately, its broad use has left most of us without a grounded understanding of what codependency really is, how it can affect our lives, and what to do about it.  

Mary is the Faculty and Program Coordinator at San Jose City College Alcohol & Drug Studies Program, the Co-Founder and Clinical Director of Recovery Connections Treatment Services, and far too many other programs to list here. Her expertise on attachment and codependency l...

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When Heather discovered that some significant changes were happening in her daughter's residential program, she began to worry the family was not receiving what they were promised. After an unproductive discussion with the program director, Heather made the difficult choice of bringing her daughter home early. Now what?

When we spoke for this coaching episode, Heather's daughter had been home for just one week after spending seven months in residential treatment. There are new boundaries to determine - from big issues like driving and employment to simple matters like cleaning...

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In this episode, we delve into the complex relationship between eating disorders and substance use and how the principles of CRAFT and The Invitation to Change can apply to both.  Alice Baker, a Stream community parent who is also a licensed professional counselor, dietician and certified eating disorder specialist, guides us through these three issues.  In her high school days, Alice Baker was drawn to the world of competitive dance. The importance of body image in the sport sparked an eating disorder that would linger until she began learning about nutrition in her fr...

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After 14 treatment centers, 10 jails in six different states, and solitary confinement at Rikers Island prison, Patrick Babcock is lucky to be alive.  

His parents were barely adults themselves when he was born, dealing with their own alcoholism, physical abuse, and abandonment issues. Patrick’s own substance use began early, sneaking his father's Heinekens at age 7 and smoking marijuana with his friend's parents at age 10. He went from an Ivy League kindergarten to running "feral" in the streets of New York, attending the debaucherous Studio 54 at only 14 years old. Though he managed to...

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Roy Duprez began drinking whatever alcohol he could get his hands on at the incredibly young age of 7.  He managed to stay sober for two of his high school years, but then returned to using alcohol and drugs for 12 years more years.

Roy sees lots of young men with trauma-related substance misuse come through his outdoor adventure recovery program, but for him, drinking was part of an imagined lifestyle of success. He didn't drink to escape, he drank to have *even more* fun.  He fully embraced the identity of "alcoholic" wi...

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It's Mother's Day week, 2024. I'm personally counting my blessings because my kids are all healthy and our family is in a positive and safe place. It wasn't always this way. There were Mother's Days when I wanted to crawl even deeper under the covers and not show my face. There were Mother's Days when I didn't know where my oldest son was. 

Today, I want to honor those who may not be looking forward to Sunday, the ones who are feeling the weight of having a child who struggles with s...

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Jane isn't exactly sure at what age her older son began using substances regularly, but the degree of misuse seemed to come in waves. He stayed in therapy until he left for college - which is just when her younger son began having the same issues. He cycled through four high schools, attended a wilderness program, and eventually enrolled in the therapeutic boarding school where he is today.

Jane's family's relationship is pretty good, thanks to the many tools she's been learning and practicing in The Stream. Her sons are...

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It probably doesn’t surprise you that the majority of Hopestream Community members are moms. About 70% of therapists are women, as well, and women are significantly more likely than men to seek out their services.

Last year, we launched The Woods, our private community for dads, stepdads, and male co-parents. And as much as we would love to help more dads who have kids struggling with substances, they don’t come flocking to our services. 

I wanted to dive into this imbalance and asked Steve Andrews to join me fo...

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The behavioral symptoms of young people caught up in substance misuse can be disheartening: open hostility, lying, cheating, stealing from family, and others. These symptoms can be hard to view as a result of the substances, and parents may instead blame their child for being “bad.” 

My guest today, Dr. Jennifer Fernandez, is a proponent of a compassionate model that sounds more complex than it is - the "biopsychosocial model." This model aims to contextualize all factors contributing to someone’s reliance on substances - not just genetics. She says this ty...

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Patrick Balsley's substance use began with alcohol in middle school and ended 11 years later with heroin- and cocaine-induced psychosis.  But instead of talking to Patrick about who he used to be, today I'm talking to him about the incredible things he's been doing with his life since then and what he's learned while helping so many other families in their pursuit of recovery.

Patrick founded Sana Counseling and Sana House, a recovery residence for men. He sits on the board of recovery high school Emerald School of Excellence, which began with t...

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Because I sit at a vantage point of seeing many parents working to understand and implement the Invitation To Change Approach (ITC) with their child who struggles with substance misuse, I see things others don't. I hear the frustrations and the celebrations, and I know that while an approach like the ITC is very powerful and effective, it isn't a magic wand.

Sometimes, the more difficult aspects of using a compassion and empathetic-centric approach to a very scary and challenging problem don't get talked about. In today's short, solo episode I...

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When Dr. Nzinga Harrison was recently approached by her son, a high school senior, about going to his first party, she consented. He was unsurprised by her followup question: “Do you think there will be drugs there?” As an addiction psychiatrist and M.D. specializing in addiction medicine, Dr. Harrison had been talking with him about substances since he was very young, so the question wasn’t awkward. “Yeah, probably,” he replied. As her stomach twisted, she realized that the years of preparation for this stage of his life were about to be tested – i...

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When Dr. Robert Schwebel was approached by a local treatment agency about developing a drug program for adolescents, he was not interested. He decided to meet with the agency about the proposal, but also to share hard truths that he thought would encourage them to find someone else: Don't promise drug free kids overnight. Help them learn to make good decisions rather than telling them what to do. Incorporate life counseling. Rather than rejecting him, the program agreed to Robert’s suggestions and hired him.

Robert hoped to find and tweak an...

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Years before his gender transition, Jordan Held still remembers the day he asked his employer if he could wear the same clothing as the male faculty. The reply: "We're not ready for that yet." Whether or not your young person is questioning their sexual identity, gender, pronouns or any other aspect of themselves, you’ll get so much from this important conversation.

As a teenager, he had been a good student and athlete who just wanted to be the popular girl at school. He wore clothes that weren't comfortable, drank, smoked we...

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If you could stand outside your own life, watching your family relationships play out like a movie, what patterns of behavior might you notice about yourself?  If you could see those patterns now, wouldn’t it be much easier to improve them each day?  In this episode, we try to understand ourselves and our family dynamics more deeply through the lens of attachment theory.

If you’re like me, you’d never heard attachment theory mentioned in recovery spaces or literature.  But my guest today believes it has an important role to play i...

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When my son began using drugs and alcohol, I did what a lot of parents do: I dove headfirst into a world I didn't know existed, trying to evaluate all the possible programs and places he might go to get help. But there's so much to learn about the treatment world, and the knowledge is extremely specialized, making it almost impossible to sift through it effectively without a guide. On today's show, I spoke with someone who is that guide for families.

Joanna Lilley has been an educational consultant (though she...